What a DAY indeed!
Indeed SO!!Mood: damn on da spot! Love lovin' it!
Bwhahahhahs... so yeah, I fell to temptations of having the chance to WINDSURF..
or at least, get to be on that board and feel the wind blowing through my hair, and the sea beneath me flowing between my toes at such high speeds, I thought my ankles were about to get cramps!
Sorry Amanda.. that I actually blew you off and went ahead to the beach.. I can't help it.. I've been yearning to get my butt into the sea (no matter how dirty and disgustingly saltishly bitter it can get) ever since I stepped into NYP.
Spontaneous visits to the beach are the best, and I have two very enthusiastic kakis' with me. Frigging hell, and they're probably my oldest, closest friends that I'll ever EVER have. It's good to have them. And they're none other than Felix Foo and Gillian Tay!! *grins* love you guys to bits! *hugs the two* Truthfully, they've been there for me, every single time. Thank gawds for them, really.
Hahas.. so yeah, Felix brought his other friend along today, his name's Nathaniel. Nice name, but the fella's super talkative, pessimistic, I might add. We'd been debating while in the bus whether the sun might shine, or it'll definitely rain for sure.. By the time we got there, it was rather sunny out, Felix and I were positively sure we might be able to get a tan if the weather kept up at its sunny pace.
Then, we'd switched topics, coz we were about to cross the highway. Yes, cross the highway. I was frigging hell freaking out at those two tall boulders. So, I made sure one was in front of me (Felix) and the other (Nat) was behind. hahhas.. just so Felix could cross roads without even looking at the road itself, and Nat would be my damage protector. Yep. *nods*
But anyway, dammit.. hahs...
felix got out his boards.. and that huge 7.8m sail.. and then we went boarding first.. basically we were paddling around the sea for about half an hour before heading back to shore to rest for a bit, and then Felix got out his sail and off we went!!!! :D
Oh man, like what I told you earlier, the water flowing in between my toes at such high speeds, the wind blowing against my face... riding the waves... I can practically still feel the movement of the waves in me.. It's so relaxing and soooo good!! It's different from the waves you get when you're on the boat.. it's just sooo different..
There was a sand lizard on Felix's board before we went out to sea...It dropped off the board and into the sea, actually. hahs.. so we were watching it scuttle and paddle its cute little legs about before Felix picked up the little guy and had him on his hand.. hahs.. I was rather freaked out that he'd do such a thing, but he did anyway..He wanted to keep it, but he left it by a tree later.
Anyway, so yeah... like it was sooo totally raining later.. After we were trying to dry ourselves out by sitting on the beach, and letting the wind blow us dry.. We were nearly successful. But for the dreaded fact that we were skinned with salt.. that meant, we had to bathe. So basically, we played by the hoses while washing the sail and the boards after it'd stopped raining. Frigging hell, it was helluva COLD!!!!
Oh, whilst waiting in the shelter for the rain to stop, we saw this cute little girl and her older brother. I suppose their mom's a caucasian, coz they certainly looked very much mixed blooded to be truly malay. The little girl, aged about 5 or 6, was called Fatimah. Curly chestnut brown hair, doll-eyed, donned with a pretty smile and a vivacious nature, she teamed up with her older brother, Mustafa and played 'hunter' with their dad, who's a windsurfer. Mustafa's about 8 or 9.. really cute little mischievious boy, with straight chestnut brown hair, big beautiful eyes.. hahs..
they're both just sooo lovable! :)
**********
Well, so here I am..
back at home. with Junius's incessant chatter..
I swear, he's still the kid he was back when we were 15 or 16...
-_-||
really now..
hahs..
*********
But seriously, have you ever thought what it's like to know that today's gonna be the last day that you'd ever live to see?
Does it worry you that each day only gets one chance, that it'll never be another thing like groundhog's day?
Perhaps not..
That's why, I try my darnest, and my hardest.. not to fall prey to the wacko hands of depression. It's hard, seeing as I'm an offspring from a generation of depressives.. but then again, I'm trying hard, and to know that I'll get better day by day, spurs me on to do better.
With every little setback in life, I give it another push, just to know that nothing is really not that impossible to do. I just have to put in a tad more effort, and I'll see it all in time to come.
Sometimes, we take things in life for granted. It's only when we lose things that are precious to our hearts, that fills us with regret and sorrow. Why? Why does that happen?
Guilt.
Simple as that. Guilt that you didn't spend more time, guilt that you were being too self-centred, and narrow-minded to see anything else that mattered. Guilt about every other little thing.
But you've lost the person, or the item. Why brood over it?
It's hard, coz you're never really over something or someone, till your heart feels nothing for the person/item.
It took me 2.5 years just to get over Jan's death.
But I faced that guilt, and banished it, I got over her, and we've got me today. The thought of her is nothing but a mere happy exsistance in my mind, no longer my heart..
However so, let's not get side-tracked..
Again, how do we face ourselves, and accept ourselves, and not be destroyed by hiding ourselves away from everything?
Yes, I'm thinking of Amanda as I type this.
But I'm also thinking of many other individuals that I know of, that went through this phase as well..
I know I'd been through such a phase too. Like I can never do anything right, whatever I did or say would somehow turn out bad, and I constantly thought I was such a burden to everyone around me. Sounds oddly familiar?
how do we fight this urge to be so low-esteemed, and to become better people as a whole by the end of it all?
Simple. Self-evaluation.
So, you've made mistakes. So did everyone else. You think you're a burden to everyone around you. So does everyone else. You think you'll hurt anyone with your problems. Oh hell, everyone does that and no one really fucking cares.
Face it, now that you know your mistakes, accept it.
you know you've made mistakes, look for ways to correct them, and pick some unlucky victim to try the new method on. You know you're a burden, but now that you know that everyone else are burdens, shrug and let that thought go. You're only HUMAN. you're NOT perfect. ACCEPT THAT RUDDY FACT. You think you'll hurt everyone with your problems, be it big or small. so what? just tell them anyway. Do you think it'll make them feel any better when they've come to know about it a tad bit too late? like say, oh, at your funeral?
No, I don't think so!
So, why keep it in, and hide it so much, when others can see it as plain as day? When you learn to let go, and accept. You'll feel so much better.
See, being a buddhist has its good advantages. They teach us to accept reality at such young ages.. once you learn to let go, you accept. once you accept, you gain the term 'enlightenment'. Seriously, that's the only thing I love about buddhism. It's something that Christianity doesn't even teach. or preach about. At least buddhism gives something that's solid, and with gravitational substance that is practical in life.
Always remember, in life, one will gain lots of enlightenments. It just depends on your own effort to gain it. No one can really help you. I can only motivate you to do things. But whether you do it with your own conviction, that's a totally different matter.
With that, Amanda, I hope you learn something out from this entry.
And for those who read this entry, I do hope you gain some 'enlightenment' out from this. Once you have, you can truly say "I see the light!".
There are many lights in life, make sure you see more lights along your life. Only then, you will become the person you want to be. Not what you HAVE to be.
**********
Hope that will prove to be something of worth to read.
As for the writer herself, she's feeling tired. Yes, i'm feeling tired.
So, I shall go take a shower, and go catch some sleep.
Good night.
Toodles! ;)
posted by anj @ 23:58
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