I knew eventually...
Drastic measures call for drastic needs...Mood: positively bored.
.... Or is it the other way around?
In any case, that doesn't matter.
The US Presidential elections are like, nearly over. I really wonder
who's winning. Not bothering to check at the moment. The remote's just
a tad bit too far away (10 feet - go figure).
Read YaMei's blog earlier on. My my my.... she's certainly a writer.
After reading a few entries, I'd realised how much I'd lost touch with
the actual reason for my blogging.
Yes, I used to blog for a main reason... which in hindsight, I never
thought I'd lose sight off... but hey hey... just take a look at my
blog..
What a mess it is.
That's alright really. I'll just change it slowly, entry by entry from
now on.. The tone may get rather cold, not as friendly, perhaps.. and
most certainly very much sacarstic (as always).. but you'll still have
a blog entry to read every few days, in anycase..
Anyway, YaMei was talking about maniac depression in one of her
entries.. We'd talked about that on the day when we were on the
discussion forum at Singapore Polytechnic.. She'd said something about
feeling like when you hit the highs in bi-polar, you'll practically
feel like god, and nothing can ever stop you...
and while that's the high, hitting the lows made you feel like you
were being tortured so badly, seconds could literally turn in to
decades and all that..
Makes me ponder (yeah, I'd been pondering on that since then till
now), about my own behaviour sometimes...
At times, I feel like I can do practically ANYTHING that's impossible
on this Earth. Like I can overcome the highest mountains, or the
deepest oceans, be more perfect than any perfect being that can be
found dead or alive. It felt good, to tell you the least..
Then there were the downs in my life. Oh trust me, I never cut myself
in attempt on suicide. (okay, I did, but they weren't any worse than
terra's scratching, really.) Rather, I did drugs. But never bad enough
to get my stomach pumped. Surprisingly, with the maximum of 4
different types of paracetamol, and 8 pills after, I could walk about
like nothing happened 2 days after.. (I'd slept the day after)
Being drugged out deliberately wasn't really something I remembered.
Everything was hazy, blurry actually. I didn't know what went on..
Just woke up, took my meals and stuff. When people talked, I ignored..
when the effects were wearing off just by a little bit, I'd take 2
more pills. when others asked, I'd just reason "It's a headache" they
seem to believe me.. so yeah...
In the course of the previous year, 2003, I'd consume about 10 packs
of panadol, which was 300 pills.
Yep. Suicide it was, but suicide never came. I figured I was too
hardy, not my time.
Hahs.. but anyway, back to the topic at hand..
My main thought was:
Was I a bi-polar without my knowing?
Scares me to even think about it....
YaMei, my dear... you're not the only one coming across
'legal-advisor' blogs. Personally, I think those blogs are crap. A
place of formal nuisance.. (oh, look who's talking, huh?)
Talking about legal and stuff to do with my course.
I hope Bush wins. That way, when stem-cell research gets banned there,
MB will get a better chance of getting great jobs, and doing stem-cell
research. Let the money roll in, bay-beh!! *chuckle*
But then again, what good will I gain from it if I don't do well in my
exams? Absolutely nothing I suppose.
Which reminds me: Joey is freaking out.
Way to go, dude..! only a day or two before your paper, and you
freak... well, not too bad, I only freak AFTER my papers.
That's just... Worrying.
*nods* My skin's getting too thick.
I even risk getting a virus from Terra by letting her chew on my arm
everyday whenever I get home. I'll have to find more lizards for her
to hunt down with. She's got a lizard fetish as of late.
(nevermind the cockroaches, she has to kill the lizards too)
Well, I'm tired. (finally)
If I have better luck with blogger, I shall upload my new blogskin
which I made all by myself earlier on in the evening...
*smirks and feels all grand*
yeah well...
toodles for now!
posted by anj @ 23:25
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