emotions
There are lots of emotions coursing through me right now..situations at hand i'm not very sure about on the means of handling them.
Many events have happened over the course of the last 1 month.
I'm stretched out way too thin about it, but yet, i'm still finding some source of elasticity to keep going on and on and on and on and on...
how much longer will i be this stretched out till the line snaps?
that's a question i've been asking myself ever since the start of last semester.
Answer: I have no idea.
Where's the determination coming from?
Answer: I really have no idea either.
conclusion: I'd really love to imagine i'm superhuman, with super abilities. unfortunately for me, i already have super abilities to be stretched out so thin, yet know my limits.
most don't have that ability and are probably overly jealous over that. (but some people hor, have too much of this ability. i want more from them but they don't teach me how to do it. prolly they don't know how to teach it to me, or rather they're being selfish - in my cynical opinion)
I always like to think that I'm mentally very VERY fit. too fit actually.
well, my iq works in different ways many cannot comprehend, and usually they mistake me for wanting to start fights or be annoying. (so much like my classmates to do that)
People don't really understand me. I don't bother trying to explain myself unless i see the need to. or unless you open that golden mouth of yours to ASK. or merely use your fingers to type me a question or two.
My reasoning in life is such that, I will treat you the way you treat me.
like ian would always go "What" or "yes" whenever i go "hey ian!"
i'd do the same to him when he says "hello" to me over msn.
like serica would usually go "yes me! wassssup man? =D" whenever i go "oi you!"
i'd go "heeeeey... wassup babe? =D" whenever she goes "hey gel.."
My reasoning in life is basic fundamentals.
If there is cause, there will be effect.
many do not take to the buddhist teachings even though how much sense it makes.
probably coz they don't feel as spiritually strong as they do for other religions.
But when you read just a quote or two from a buddhist scripture, you'll find every sentence with an exact brought forth meaning.
i'll give an easy example.. if you frown, you'll look fierce, hence no one will dare to approach you.
the cause: you frown
the effect: no one will dare to approach you
the reasoning: you look too fierce.
Every single simple thing we do has an effect on everything that surrounds us. It's like a ripple effect that we cannot control unless we control its focal point: us.
My reasoning is incomprehensible to many.
SO much to say, i'm not surprised that my best friends will always tell me "you ah.. dunno what you're trying to think of.. so cheem" whenever i'm thinking of something big..
cheem = complex
I won't explain this much. Coz this whole bloody entry doesn't involve my reasoning being incomprehensible.
anyway, enough about the reasonings..
I'd like to think that because of these reasonings, my emotions are determined.
like how i'm able to be stretched out so much, yet still handle it quite well..
but i guess the only thing i can't stretch out (unless being forced to) would be trying to mix around with my classmates.
I think i've formed a stigma on them. Whenever i think of school, i think how horrible my class is. there isn't one occasion where i think of a positive note when it comes to the class. This is the result of having 2 bad semesters with a class like them being manifested over time.
Not that they're criminals.. they're just the sort whom you'd love to kill next time when you're out in the work force. Seriously, in all honestly, these are the people you'd love to kill.
well, we all know i'm using They coz I don't want to point out names... they makes it a little more ambiguous.
you go figure and if you're feeling hate or ridicule for me, you just admitted that you're one of them whom you'd love to kill next time.
cheers to your miserable lives. ;)
anyway, time to go take another shower and head to bed..
my lovely lovely bed.. i've missed it for about 3 days now...
i'll settle my situations over the weekend.. lol.
now, it's back to work work work and more work.
and then see what i can do with those empty pages that're in the little books the gang and amanda gave to me.. =)
PS: the book with my name written on the cover.. that's a photo album right?
and whoever designed that first page, WOW. =)
i like that page LOADS. i'm wrecking my brains on what picture to put in there so as not to kill the efforts with some wack stupid picture.. lol.
posted by anj @ 23:35
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