Decision made...
Decision made... now, let's see what we can scrape out from my memories...Okay, from the title, you'd prolly realise, yes, I'm gonna spew out my life's story to ya.. oh, don't worry, it's loads of laughter and tears in it!! ^.^ Njoy!
We'll start from me being a baby.. that's how it always starts anyways.. Well, as a baby, my mom said I was very gu niang.. you know.. just so lady like.. Usually babies would curl up their bodies into fetal position, and bunch up their little hands.. but I'm always different. (hell, I AM always different from loads of people!) But my parents, relatives, older cousins, grandparents (while they were alive), always told me that I'm just sooo gu niang, I'd sleep like some beauty queen, my fingers always framing my face.. hahah! sho sho cute right? well, that's what everyone thought. When I was two, I was running about with a chopstick with a fishball on it.. (naughty me..) my older bro, gary, was chasing me about the table outside the kitchen.. I so happened to slip and I fell. Well, I don't even remember this thing, but the chopstick nearly pierced through the pellet at the roof of my mouth. My parents freaked and sent me to the hospital to get me checked coz there's just sooo much blood gushing out from my mouth. But I'm still alive.. heh... i'm just damn lucky..
Then, after that, I developed temper tantrums.. don't get what I desired, I'd make a big fuss.. heh.. Well, i'd be sitting on my knees, jap style, sprawl my upper torso on the floor and I'd have a head-banging session.. no really!! You have no idea how many times I had minor concussions.. but they were minor, and most of the times, my mom would bring along a small pillow with her everywhere so that if I get into a tantrum, she'd put the pillow to where my head would land so that I wouldn't get injured too badly.. but bleh.. haha.. I end up sleeping on the floor after those tantrums... ^.^
At four, I'm this vivacious, fiesty little monster...just damn hyper.. Kindergarden was fun.. but the only kid I remember from there was called Silvaraj.. some indian guy.. but anyways, pre-school was at PLMCCK.. err.. short for [Paya Lebar Methodhist Covenant Church Kindergarden].. and also at that nearby PAPK. Yes, don't be suprised.. My parents wanted me to enjoy childhood as much as I could.. PAPK was all study no play, and at PLMCCK, all play no study... so? what to do? haha... PAPK would be in the early mornings.. then I'd get home mid-morning, take a bath and go to PLMCCK. Truth be told, the only impression I get from PAPK was that it was Jail there.. I didn't enjoy it there. oh well..
Oh, and at four, being that fiesty hyper thing.. I like running about the house.. I fell--again.. this time hitting the coffee table.. and my two front teeth dropped. now, that one I can remember.. why? coz it hurt like heeeeeellll..... oh, and at four, these two stupid roaches... grr... (yes, I'm telling you how I got that insane phobia of roaches) they attacked me... One flew up on my head.. and ewww... yuck.. the other..ugh.. went into my mouth.. just gross.. sooo sooo sooo gross...
ew.. okay, enough about roaches.. *shudders*
On with my life.. after pre-school.. went to primary school.. got enrolled into this neighbourhood school called Charlton Primary School.. it was fun there, although I was only there for 2 years and 3 months... life there was.. fun. Interesting, really.. you get to be made prefect at Pri 3.. not Pri 5.. but I wasn't made prefect, coz I still had this insatiable thirst to cause havoc between students. The horrors was that my aunt was there teaching.. I think that's why my mom pulled me out and transfered me to a bloody convent.. *big scowl* Wait, let me savour my memories at Charlton first before moving on to the yucky life of that convent.. Charlton was co-ed.. the teachers were absolutely nice and friendly (save the pathetic sorry cases of chinese teachers). I was well liked there, and in turn, I loved the school dearly.. I remember there were two seperate buildings... but a few girls and I used to sneak across the fields to the other building's canteen during recess break to have out meals.. 3 minutes before the bell rang, the lady at the counter would yell out to us to get going, so, we'd just dump the plates infront of her, laugh like mad and ran back to the main building.. There used to be the fitness area, it became my lil gang's hang out.. we were like the year's batch of 'popularity' group.. if you weren't up to sneaking over to the other building.. you're not in.. it was just 4 of us, all girls.. the boys, we were constantly like 'ugh, you boys are like sissies...' hahah.. but we'd still play with them nontheless.. and all of us coming from the same class (we had this genius who constantly scored 100% for every subject) therefore, also the best class in school.. we were like the Elites...
Life there was surely memorable.. best years I've ever enjoyed, actually..
Then came convent life. Let's see ah.. I've been stuck in a stupid convent for like 9 years... can you believe it.. NINE frigging years...
In primary school, it was primary 3 to 6.. life there... SUCKED. I constantly cried myself to sleep at night coz the girls there were distant, haughty, mean. I was a cut above them coz I was like 4 chapters ahead in everything that they were learning.. they didn't like it.. they shunned me in class.. the only person who would talk to me and I considered her my best friend only in primary 4.. was this girl called Diana. Diana Soh Wan Ting. See.. I still remember her name. I just don't let people who made impacts on my life like that slip away.. but she did, we drifted apart in primary 6... but I never enjoyed school there.. under that cheerful facade I put up, life was a constant misery for me. I just slowly shut myself out from everyone.. except this other girl too.. Angel Chew. she was my other half.. as in like, she's my twin sister.. we answered stuff at the same time, had the same habits, wrote the same way, our actions were just so identical, you wouldn't believe we weren't real sisters.. but that went by too in primary 6.. I just.. my grades just dropped. By and by, time went, I just drifted in and out of school, drifted in and out of exams.. merely scraping through with just passes.
I don't remember much of Primary school life in that convent. Most of the memories there were forced by myself to forget.. I'm sure if you told me that you were my friend in that school, or that we first met in the swimming pool, i'd go 'huh? really ah?' heh... sad.. but, oh well...
Secondary school.. well, only managing to get only 180/300, I went into the Normal(acad) stream.. Oh mind you, no one wanted to be friends with a N(A) kid.. and I was put in another convent.. oh joy. bleh.
My new classmates.. suprisingly.. wah-hey! they hate being in convents too!!! haha.. so, we all stuck together like super glue.. made hell for the teachers.. we disfigured the wall at the back of the classroom twice.. by making this huge hole in the wall... we hid our books all over the class room (we didn't have lockers and we only had one situated classroom, homerooms weren't introduced yet coz we were at the old school in Hillside Drive), we openly dissed the form teacher, we hated the school.. but we emerged the best students of the year.. I got a scholarship award myself.. $300, but bleh.. it's still the cert that makes me grin.. that's year one...
Year two.. I still stuck with that same bunch of trouble-causing classmates.. we were like 'fuck-buddies' you know.. we'd just create mayhem, and after that we'd go back to our own lives.. makes it harder for the discipline mistress to catch the accomplices.. hee..
Anyways, Year two.. we rebelled even more against the school while juggling studying at the same time.. hahah.. we chased off 6 different math teachers before being put up with one that we requested... yes.. SIX different math teachers... oh, 2 different english teachers.. 3 science teachers.. our chinese, history, and literature teachers just gave up on us and taught us what we had to learn, and then they just sit there and kiao kar... but we all aced in those subjects.. geog was no prob.. coz we loved our geog teacher.. Design and Tech was in another school.. we bullied the teachers there.. ^_~ life in school was rebel, rebel, REBEL!!! it was loads of pranks.. and accusations... we accused this young teacher (one of the math teachers) that she used 'fuck' on us.. it's against rules that a teacher should use profanity on her students.. but that's what she did.. and we came up with a whole load of excuses to throw her out of class... "is she supposed to be a role model for us? if she is, why did she use profanity?", "good teachers would know how to teach us the right way.. she sucked, we want her out" bah.. a good load of tosh added in...
Sports life in school was terrible too.. I had a talent in table tennis, the coach said so himself... he was eyeing me to sign up for National team.. but I hardly had the opportunity to practice, and he saw that... so, he always coached me alone so that i could play against the machine.. I was pro at it... he said so.. but by year two, I've had it with that damn form teacher of mine (she was my t.t teacher i/c too.. damn my luck).. I quit T.T. and joined choir in Year three...
Being in N(A), our syllabus is stretched a longer time.. instead of four years, we do five years... anyways, I made a new best friend (whom we eventually drifted apart.. and well.. talking about her upsets me sometimes...), we made a deal at 12 or 13... she wanted to kill herself back then.. but I managed to convince her not to, by setting up a deal... (I was looking for death too.. just that I was too cowardly to do it.. and death doesn't seem to be looking for me.) we set up the deal, 5 years from then, who ever reminds whom first, will get to die first.. whichever way she wants to.. well, in 2002, she reminded me first.. and she jumped 10 floors down from her block, head first, died on impact. I was in denial.. told myself that she merely went to another country but not telling me where.. but well.. I've come to terms that she's dead now.. I get abit bitter and vicious whenever talking about her.. I don't know why I do that.. but I do...oh well.. blah, she's dead... so, who really cares..
Anyways.. her name was Janice.. we did stuff together.. hang out at each other's places after school.. diss the teacher in class, pass notes to each other during history and math lessons.. had lunch together.. she's this really rich kid who hates her mom... she keeps a really low profile.. but once I introduced her to my bunch of friends.. they just took her away from me.. and even though we wanted soooo much to talk to each other.. the other girls were around and we couldn't talk like the way we used too.. we hated it.. but we never showed it.. but, blah.. it's over...
Year three.. havoc year for me.. gave the new geog teacher hell, she complained to my previous geog teacher and that old teacher gave me a yelling.. but actually.. it's Gillian and my doing... the new geog teacher was my new form teacher, english teacher, career guidance mentor, geography teacher, and.. oh yeah.. moral education teacher. You have no clue how much Gin and I despised her... during english lessons, Gin, Amy and I would be bantering and laughing away in class and that new teacher (ms Chew) she'd be like, "you three at the back, what's so funny? WHO'S TALKING?!!?" and all three of us would point at each other and we'd all have this innocent guilty big grins on our faces before exploding into laughter all over again... Oh, year three was the year with the most breakdowns I've ever had... Choir was a total mess.. there were like 120 students enrolled into the list.. and I was immediately put in charge the moment I stepped in. It seems like my T.T teacher passed a good word or two to the choir teacher.. or that the choir teacher just picked me randomly.. anyhows..getting 120 people to shut up in five seconds was a feat I had overcome.. *big grin* yup! I made like one huge crowd shut up in 5 seconds.. wow.. haha.. we had NDP that year, so discipline was important.. in front of other schools, they shut up like within the second I told them to quieten down.. cool or what..
All I know is, I earned their respect, be it nice or not.. by Year four, I was made president of choir... I was slowly transforming the choir to a much more disciplined one, it was tough... but anyways, Year three.. I made like new friends all over the country. It was a fun experience.. but it was tedious at the same time.. juggling jeers from my peers (wow, it rhymes), teachers yellings.. homework loads.. parents scoldings.. it got all too pressurising.. I just did what I did best, I shut out every single person I knew. I dont remember how I acted back then.. But my friends tell me that I was this cold-hearted, self-centred, calculating bitch.. I gave cold curt answers, I had this icy glare and all that.. hahaha... the only people I talked to were Huan Yan and Hui SHi.. even with them.. I was really very sacarstic.. Blocking people out was sooo easy then... but I cried myself to sleep at night sometimes.. of course... many would go 'what? angeline..? cry? no way...' well, news flash.. I am human afterall you know.. you just don't know me well enough...
Year Four.. that's year 2002.. every thing went topsy turvy from that year onwards.. I'm suprised to see myself alive this very moment too... coz that year.. was just overwhelming.. I had this major exam at the end of the year in October... a friend online just died in a car crash on Jan 24th.. then, Janice died on March 6th.. her death.. I told my friends "Janice died.. she most prolly jumped down the building.. i can bet that with you...".. I told that to them somewhat jokingly before the principal came into the room, telling us about it..That she had died falling from 10 floors down.. you have no clue how shocked I was... I just broke down completely...I didn't know how true my words were.. People just avoided me after that..
anyways.. I just dived into my work after that.. didn't talk to anyone, just forgot about everything and anything in my social life.. and went straight into studying.. that year... I had like 3 awards... good progress award, top 15 in level award, top 20% award... came up to $450 instant cash on the cheques...L1B3 --> 7 points.. B3 -->5 points.. one of the better scorers in school...
During all that diving into work(school).. my grandfather passed away.. I dreamt his death.. he suffocated to his death.. I told mom to go see him one last time, but she got an hour too late.. he did die of suffocation.. but I never told anyone of that.. who'd believe me?
he died on June 5th, a day after mom's birthday, a day before her youngest sis's birthday. He wasn't even 70..
Then Year Five.. stuff at home didn't look good.. police were called in to stop fights between my aunts.. I remembered my dad's mom, grandma.. she was crying coz she hated to hear her children quarrel over stupid matters.. I yelled at the adults to shut the fuck up.. they threatened me with all sorts of stuff.. I remember not backing down for the sake of grandma and I chased them out of the house. Good for them too.. good for nothings.. they're already over 60 and still bickering over what food to give the frail old lady to eat! good gods!
But then, grandma was admitted into hospital.. I really missed her and visited her every 2 days, if I could.. but with school.. it was nearly impossible, coz I had a school event that required my presence at all times.. and the work load.. coz I had another major exam at the end of the year too.. it was the GCE O levels.. A day after the school event got over... I rushed down to see my grandma.. but, she was already in coma, I couldn't talk to her seeing her the way she was.. lying there, bloated in fluids, brain dead, with the pacer on, a ventilation machine attached to her lungs.. it was too painful.. and the worse thing, I couldn't cry coz my mom told me that it was the lady's last wish that no one should cry.. but damn, it had hurt soo soo much.. thinking about it makes me shed some tears sometimes...
She died on Gary's birthday, March 25th.. at 90.. damn, I miss her so much..
oh well.. the past is past, the dead is dead.. no big deal over it yeah?
Anyways, last year.. year five pretty much sucked... everything was hay-wired for me... yea?
met lots of different people, made lots of new friends... dissed lots of people... heh.. just a really really really weird year for me...
oh, then my uncle died too... around June.. then.. followed by dad's cousin's wife... and then a few other people.. funerals aren't a nice place to be at.. Why? Honestly, I don't bother for crying for the dead already.. I mean, yeah, there's a break in my heart, a few stray tears.. but no big boo-hoo thing.. coz well, they're.. dead. the only thing I don't like about funerals.. is well, me being in-charge of the condolence money.. it's like soooo much money!!! I can have about $3000 in my pouch... and i'll be walking around the parlour the entire day...heh.. no one knows I'm the money-bearer!!!! but, damn.. now you know.. oh well.. ^.^
and well.. that's just basically what I can remember of my life.. haha... it's like a lame story, you know.... oh well...
now you know me better, no? (^_^)
posted by anj @ 11:00
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