yeah... oh yea...
yeah, well.. let's see...Listening to: Joanna Pacitti ~*~ Watch me shine
Mood: i'm.. frowning.. and thinking..
well, let's see...
I was reading Michelle's blog.. she sets me thinking..haha..
really reminded me of last year, when I was the exact replica of her.. all angst-ed up and stressed..
"low" self-esteem.. and pretty much feeling pretty out of it.. just bored out of everything.. you get depressed.. and just feel like you just don't like pretty much everything except the things that keep you going..
you become cold to those you don't really know after a while. and you don't know how to communicate with them, unless you find something really linking between you and the other person. It happens.
Every single person goes through that at least once in a life time..
well, mich, i'm gonna quote out from your blog.. hee.. hope ya don't mind about that..
"take time to pray, prayer changes things.. NOOO.. prayer changes people. PEOPLE changes things.."
uh hmm.. see... most people don't pray.. i for one, love saying that i don't pray. well, not to ANY god in particular... I just pray to myself. Don't know why I do that.. I just feel that, well.. why should I have to pray to another, when I can believe in myself and make myself my own god in my own world? It's my mind, my thoughts, no one can rule my thoughts 100% right? I'd be a puppet if that happens..
but inevitably, I guess, by praying, you put faith in something.. or someone.. and you just believe in yourself indirectly. and that's how people change. But for better or worse, that's up to how your mind works and proccesses..
Anyways, like I said, I was reading Mich's blog (yet again), but only for abit..
can't help but notice that she mentioned haydern being one of her motivators.. hahah.. that fella's at it again.. ;)
he was my motivator last year.. when I couldn't take it no more, he'd somehow appear there..
but sadly, well... he just didn't remember all that he's done for me.. if he knew, he'd know how much he's a saviour to me.. hahah.. honest.
right.. hmm.. what else... oh on the topic of depression.. haha..
even now, I'm feeling somewhat depressed talking about it.. nevermind, nevermind.. i'll just sit through this one and talk it out.. what's a blog for anyways? ;) to speak, of course..
how does depression go about?
well, you have to happy first before you get depressed.. it's like that...
you're happy, you feel like everything's perfect... and you lie in bed at night, thanking god for everything..
but then, the next morning.. when you wake up.. everything goes hay-wire..
well, it did for me.. let's see what happened for me..
mom screamed at me to wake up.. and then, I felt like the day just drags on...
It's like... you feel like everything that any one does for you.. it's just a facade.. to pacify you..
just to shut you up..
and that's when you feel like everyone's out to get you... and you just dettach away from everyone..
and that's when all the negative thoughts come in.. and blah blah blah.. you get the picture?
if you didn't.. tell me.. i'll try explaining again..
ANYWAYS.. going out soon.. I think I'll be sleeping in the movie theatre later..
Coz i've watched HellBoy already.. Gary wants me to go watch it again.. with our family.. mom, dad, and squirt..
Terra's home alone.. Hope she'll be fine... *is rather worried*
blah.. dad's home... gotta run soon...
did i mention how much i hate mosquitoes?
Au Revoir...
posted by anj @ 17:14
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