Decided to change my mind
long posts aren't really nice for the blogs..Listening to: Aqualung ~*~ Strange and Beautiful (I'll put a spell on you)
Mood: listless..
well, I thought hey, I'll just post something else today.
Perhaps just a glimpse into one of my schooldays last year. Perhaps one filled with abit of melanchonic sadism and sacarsm of some kind.
Alright, so last year, 2003 again, on the day of Janice's 1st year death anniversary.
We were going about class lessons as per normal, and suddenly, it dawned upon me that she was dead for a year when I was half done with mathematics tutorial.
Turning to one of my former clique's member, Sharon, I informed her of the information I just realised. It went something like this.
Angel: Sharon, look at the date today.
Sharon: it's March 6, so?
A: doesn't that even remind you of anything? (here I faked a frown) say.... jan's successful attempt at suicide?
S: oh yah.. jeez! you don't have to be so frank about it!
A: Frank? oh.. no, just stating a really interesting fact. (a smirk forms)
S: shut up, ku's looking
A: like you'd care. (i was about to say something nasty when she beat me to it)
S: of course i do, aren't you going to visit her today?
A: no, course not. why should i? i mean, I can't even find her bloody frigging ash box.
S: don't be mean. (she frowns now) and why aren't you going to visit? what sort of friend are you?
A: one that doesn't really care for dead best friends. (looks at her unblinkingly) just kidding. (averts eyes) i don't have any time for that sort of ritual.
S: you're just being mean. you guys never even think of her anymore.
A: I'm a busy person, unless you haven't noticed, we've got exams in 2 months. and who says i dont' think of her? she just fades away. (that's a total lie to her, but of course she doesn't know that. I just roll my eyes inwardly at her gulliblity)
S: you're always busy. you don't really care for others anymore, dont' you?
A: no, and you don't care for our feelings too right? so why even bother asking me that question? (i was thinking "oh, joy. she actually cares.")
I ignore her comments after that cause the teacher looks our way and glares at us.
Soon, at class break, I overhear sharon telling the rest about jan's death anniversary. I wouldn't say I'm of the best terms with that girl. She gets on my nerves more often than my lil' brother does. Many times I have to control my temper around her. One of these days, I'd let terra on her and allow the dumb cat to scratch her silly.
Anyway, I was talking to rica about that conversation I had with sharon in class. rica was in the other class next door when the conversation took place. oh, meet Rica, my best friend. i'll tell you about her next time, when i'm free.
I told her about the talk, and all she said was "oh, joy. she actually cares." The exact same words I was thinking of previously.
Till then, write later..
*~Au Revoir~*
posted by anj @ 14:00
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