my frustration, disappointment. my anger.
A recent (ok, not so recent) revelation has kept me in a very pent up frustration and angry mood lately...and the most sickening part of it is that, the source of my anger and pent up frustration comes from a very, very dear friend of mine.
nevermind if arden calls me a nosy, devil faced, insignificant fool. i don't mind it really, coz now that i come to think of it, i'm not very nosy, my nose is small and cute, and however insignificant i am, i'm still more popular than he is by default.
but nevermind if my best friends think i'm weird and crazy.. that's who i am, I guess..
but when it comes to this particular individual lying to me, it upsets me SO much to the extent that I hate her altogether.
this person is none other than Charmaine Foo.
babe, let me ask you, WHAT did I do to you to make you lie to me to that extent?
Why do you even do that?
Who made you do it?
Is it because I had more authority over everyone back in secondary school?
Or was it because the older girls made you do it?
what is it that made you LIE to me about EVERYTHING?
You KNOW I hate liars, yet you never owned up to it, never stopped your stupid games, just kept on going on and on and on about it...
I found out of your lies, so easily, I just didn't want to embarass you tremendously by telling you straight in your face that:
1) I found pictures of 'stanley', and
2) your dad doesn't actually own that hotel.
do you know how much it disappointed me to know that YOU, of ALL other people, someone whom I treated specially, so much like a sister that i never had, could just hurt me with your stupid games?
In order to make you tell me that "yes, I lied" just those 3 words, I had to tell you a lie. I hated myself for it then and I still do. But to make you say it, I had to.
Now, michelle has told me to forgive and forget, I'm sorry chel.. i can't. i find that I REALLY cannot bring myself to forgive this cunning soul of hers.
you won't understand what i've been through, thinking that I could finally find someone to share my joys and woes with, only to find out the ugly truth by myself (with the help of yours) that everything was made up, everything's just a lie. It's like telling me that this really cute guy is nothing but a guy who loves dick.
no, you won't understand what i feel.
Charmaine, I really truly hate you for lying to me like that. I really really do. you really brought this on yourself.
It's not like I didn't give you chances to tell me that you were sorry and that you lied and what you lied to me about. I'm always there, always online, always HERE for you and this is what i get in return?
For me to find out the truth by myself, really takes it off the list that I should even forgive you.
A sister wouldn't do that to her own sisters.
But you did.
i just really don't understand you.
Right now, I don't even know YOU at all.
who the hell are you?
besides your name being charmaine foo, what else are you?
are you lesbian? coz to me, you seem to be a closet lesbian..
are you who you even describe to be?
Until you tell me who you really are, and why you lied to me so..
i'm not going to be as friendly to you as I used to be.
posted by anj @ 17:11
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