i must've ate something bad.....
coz i'm having this horrible stomach ache.. =( can feel the intestines and everything churning... hur hur... *grimaces* must be last night's "dinner" or lack there of.Well, last night I decidedly said I wasn't hungry, so I didn't eat a proper meal. Just a Pong Piah.. and those 20cent iced-popsicles you can get at provisional shops, and lots of cold water. heh, yeah... killer to anyone, I guess? *shrugs* I wasn't thinking last night.
Had a late night chat with my brudder, Junie!! hahaha.. okay, I forgive on your forgetfulness and busy schedule.. Coz i'm equally forgetful too.. busy.. well that one, not too sure lah.. but I know I'll be busier than Jezz.. he does only 21hrs/week in school, I do 27hrs/week.... but that means more self-study for him, and less play for me. Not that I'll be playing.. I doubt I'd play.
Haiyoh... debra.. what time are you gonna get your ass out of the room?!?! It's 8.18 already and you're still asleep! We have to meet that other girl at 9am leh! haiz...
oh yah, I said I was chatting with junie last night... well, he said I just made a huge wrong move of trying to let go of haydern, coz I never should.. it's exactly what haydern wants and agitating me and persuading me out of waiting is just bull's eye at what he wants to do to me. Junie said I should just change that mindset of mine and wait for him even though it looks like it's entirely useless and fruitless doing that. So, right at this moment, I'm like "Oh fuck, what do I do now?" you know, I had a chat with yihan previously too, he told me to let go and all that. It made sense.. but now, hearing junie's view, it made more sense.. I don't know! honestly, I'm just torn between both sides I just don't want to have any of this shit I just want it back to normal...
didn't get to sleep till 2 again last night. All these late nights will just have to stop somehow, if not, my school work's gonna be at the brunt of it all. I worked hard to get here, I can't just let haydern destroy it no? haiz.... what love does to a person.. hmm... i must understand and overcome it, yet keep everything the way it is. not that I want a status quo, I just need to add more wisdom in my thoughts rather than thinking the way I do now. arhhhh.... I will try to take a HUGE step back like I normally do..
Junie, you're right, I'm never one to give up that easily...
heh.. doesn't that make me so darn stubborn? *grimaces* oh hell.... nevermind, i shall rely on my stubborness to lead me through all this shit. huahuahua....
crap. i gotta run. DEBRA!!! YOU LAZY ASS!!!! GET UP!!!!!! >__<
posted by anj @ 08:10
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