....
Mood: depressed
Well, that's what I'm doing.. it's not healthy of me to think this way. At the rate I'm going, jezz, perhaps you're right, I might need a psychiatrist soon yah?
What's it like to be depressed? I'm sure there's many forms of depression, but mostly you're just down and outta it.. jezz says depression is when you feel really bad about yourself, your life and everything about it.. like you think you're not good enough and all that.
I think depression.. is when you're just like so outta it, everything's just so monotoneous to you and you're just really frustrated and really down, you just wanna end it all... I feel that so many times, along with jezz's description of depression. it's like a viscious cycle - this depression thing.
And to opress such feelings, it's hard. It really is very hard, but so long as I take the effort to fight it, I know I get stronger from within. But now.. I don't know... I've come to a point where fighting depression is almost like a routine. And right now, I can still ask myself, whether I want to choose to fight it, or give in to it.
It's really scary thinking like that. To think that I've come this far in my life, even though I've achieved so much, I still feel that it isn't enough, and the problems that have accumulated, it weighs my heart down so much that to an extent, I have enough rebound to bounce all this negative feelings away, yet, I can just continue to let it wallow in my sadness. To feel that, that scares me a whole lot more..
I wonder, sometimes, what would a reader of my blog would think of me.. I suppose that you'd just call me the average teenage girl, with teenage problems going through the teenage mind? I suppose in time to come, I'd just let everything all go, won't I? Then again, I have no idea what I'm babbling here, so I'm feeling rather stupid at this point of time.
'nuff said. I'm outta here.
posted by anj @ 11:01
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