2004-08-27

reminising the past...pondering about now...

I was just reading through my older blogger entries at this blog.. (I've got like a xanga, a blog with rica and debra, another blogger, this blog, and 2 ujournals. makes it 6 blogs.)

And I really really miss those limited happy days.. it really is very short-lived..
Gone were the days when I could be happy, smile all day, worry about the little things..

It's true when they say that kids have the most care-free of lives..

I miss him more and more each day, but there's nothing much I can do about it. He wants to be such a jerk, I can't change him, but neither can he.. to want him to know that I still like him and love him, it's impossible now. I just miss those days, I miss him. These words are an understatement to what I really feel.


Many people tell me jokingly, that I'm such a bad influence to them.. am I really?
I don't really seem to think so.. I do drink.. but it's seldom. I pierced my ears, but didn't get my skin tattooed. I don't know.. that's all I went. I didn't even do drugs. I don't drink and drive. hell, I don't even club. sheesh.

anyway, I'm thinking way too much for my own good...

The whole of next week is for revisions.. there's no school... mugging's all i'm gonna do.. dunno if got the mood to go out with the rest.. gotta see how.. haiz..

Life's being such a fucking bore to me now.. I mean, school's fun, no doubt. but like I told michelle earlier on.. now "we can both shake hands and go dotting all the way..." i'm really just so.. .... ..... ...... yeah. just like .... that. :S

So much has happened in the course of 4 months. What was 4 months ago, is certainly not how it's like to be now.. it's two different worlds, with the same person. It's rather disturbing. watching me change from a totally clueless person, to a still clueless but very much busy and depressed soul.

School's getting really busy now.. That zebrafish project.. the hospice.. that one I have to ask Ms Geraldine on how they go about it.. school work's getting tougher.. I've said that yesterday. Now I have doubts as to whether I can cope or not. I know in the end I will cope with it.. I just gotta find my anchor, and then I'll be off from there again..

Hmmm.... well, I have to go sleep now..
having class at 9.30am tomorrow. It's a follow-up microbiology lab practical..

Terra's getting heavier. She still loves abusing dad and i.. damnations..
her fur feels like extra soft thick velvet to my skin. i love cuddling up with her..

There are so many things to say right now, but i can't, so i won't.... it's hard living in my situation. it sucks to be me.. :( ah well...

i'm off to bed.. bonne nuit.

posted by anj @ 23:45