.....
I have spent the better part of the morning...Mood: depressed
being moody.
Which is no surprise, when I found out that my latest updates on my GPA was 1.593 instead of my usual 3.568...
Depressing as it was, I kept that all in till I sat down at the coffee table 2 hours later, trying my best to decidpher those familiar yet so foreign words, letters and numerials...
Today, was the first time in 3 years that I broke down completely in front of my mom since Jan's death.. today is a memorable day indeed... if you can count it memorable.. significant maybe, but heh.. oh, anyway... yeah..
My mom hardly finds me breaking down the way I do.. She just sat in her sofa seat, staring at me, at a lost of what to do or say.. just sat there, feeling really hopeless.. I could watch her wanting to just help me take all my problems away.. but she didn't know how, so she just sat there and watched me till I was feeling better on my own..
She only watches the guys cry.. so she has no idea how to deal with her own daughter.. funny really.. most people say daughters are the most cared for.. maybe not so much in my family..
Anyway, on a happier note, I'm getting my PocketPC back.. they're sending it right to my doorstep tomorrow night.. *wry smile* The fella fixed my baby!!!
Terra's still in her Heat season. It's taking FOREVER before she becomes normal again.. I'm asking Maj what that stuff was to give to Terra lest she gets into heat again.. He hasn't replied me yet..
So.. yeah.. my dad was asking if I was satisfied with my results.. I know I shouldn't have been so rude, but I told him curtly that I was obviously NOT happy with it.. He just shut up completely after that.. :( I feel so evilly nasty now...
Having sneered at my younger brother again, about him forgetting his own birthdate.. My dad added in that since he forgot his own b-day, it wasn't important.. oh jeez.. we just bully that kid too many times.. He's nearly dropped into EM3.. had like 177/400 for his exams this year.. next year will be his big year.. I wonder how he'd fair.. good, bad, okay.. or getting worse? sheesh..
I was tempted to cut my hair again today.. But my mom blatantly refused to allow me to get it cut.. said something about having my hair grown for over a year.. why should I want to cut it off now.. *shrugs*
Still feeling mightily sore about my scores..
Amanda had the cheek to laugh about it. Right. Maybe I should laugh at her scores if she hits a low just out of spite in the future.. But maybe not, since I'm a nice person.. After so many things I've done for her, why does she have to laugh at my poor grades.. I mean, yeah, she said she felt bad.. ah, forget it. This is getting really pointless.
I told my mom I wanted to give up today, just didn't want to study anymore. Maybe doing business just might be good for me, since my bloodline lived within the business sector.. My mom's dad was an liquor dealer, he sold XO's, Brandy's.. all that.. back in the days when the Flea Market wasn't up yet.
My dad's dad.. I had no idea what he did.. but he always dressed smartly, as to what my father always told me..
yeah.. hahs.. my cousin's a millionaire, he owns a dot.com company and some other shit, a few are teachers, engineers, a good number of them are auditors..accountants, bankers.. and a lawyer.. photographer.. my bro's into programming logistics.. me.. I'm.. well.. barely making it through polytechnic with such grades to go..
hahs.. I will admit, I'm not a bright student. I take AGES to understand something completely..
Hopefully, I'll get over this soon.. and get set, ready for my next sem..
But first, where the fuck should I start with this stupid inorg chem?
posted by anj @ 14:43
<< Home