2005-03-03

shopping.. again.

Okay, sooo....

like the days just pass me by so darn fast.. it's already week 12... 3 more weeks till end of school!
I've been feeling frustrated the WHOLE day. I have been thinking about whether I should like, keep my job or not..

i'm gonna get so busy the next few months.. don't even know if I have the time to study, let alone work! =S

this frustration is just gonna eat me up soon one of these days.. ah well, like whatever.. everyone gets it anyway.. lol.. people just wanna complain, so I just follow suit. (okay, more like I really gotta get it off me coz it's starting to eat up half of me already) So maybe I should just clam up my trap and shut up right?

yeah, thanks alot. like I needed your approval. freak off.



You can obviously tell I'm not in a very good mood.but yeah, whatever, right? pfft.


Anyway, I think I'm ready to move on to another chapter in my life.. I can finally put aside all that stupid crazy unhappy past behind me. And if I'm lucky enough (or unlucky, i don't know) I might just forget everything.. I just hate being ignored by the one I love and treated like I don't exsist (or at least feel that way). The feeling just sucks. And all the stuff he just does to hurt me in one way or another, it just annoys me to know that even after all that, I could still like (or even so much as love) him. I feel like a fool. seriously so much like a fool.

Maybe it's time I finally heed gillian's advice to forget about him and move on, huh?
What say you? *shrugs* I can't decide, but I'm just gonna forgive his annoying ways, forget about him and move on.

Maybe it'll work out somehow in the future, but not now, not today, not this year. Maybe it won't work out at all. Then it'll be better that way too.. I don't know for sure what's gonna happen from now to 10 years later.

I've lost all my directions in life,
every single bit of it.
I just couldn't find reasons to why I'm studying the course I'm doing today.
I can't find the reason why I want to help out in the planning committee for the youth workgroup.
I dont' know what I'm doing in school.
I don't know why I'm even in the EXCO for school faculty.
I have no clue what friends are for.

Are they there just for accompanying you just for companionship sake?
Are they there to make you feel demoralised?
to feel bad about your own self?
Are they there just to give you some reputation?
Are they there just to GET some reputation for themselves?
So much for feeling egotistical...

What are friends for?
When you're there for them, they're grateful only for those few minutes..
I try and I try,
to spread around the worthiness of a friend by being there for lots of them.
I'm sorry if I weren't there for you.
Maybe I was too busy with another friend. Maybe you never told me at all.
I'm only one person, I can't be there for you 24/7.

Then again, I have so many friends.
yet, where are they when I need them? Too pre-occupied with their own new problems.
That's alright, I tell myself.
It's really okay.
I can be on my own.
I shall amuse myself by myself. So I do that.
And what do I get?
Endless teasing. it's not like I like it.
Sometimes I enjoy it.
But sometimes, too much of teasing just has to stop.


Oh whatever.
I should get back to memorising my books. This entry just annoys and frustrates me to no end.

Sometimes I feel like burning this blog up.
Then again, it's electronic.
There's nothing I can do about electronic stuff.



Like whatever.
I'm only praying this ridiculous day will just end sooner than I expect it to end.
I'm only praying that when I wake up tomorrow,
my goals in life will be renewed with new zest and drive.

I hate feeling this hopeless.




whatever.

angeline

posted by anj @ 22:02