losing the essence, losing myself
i've probably lost the essence in blogging for several months already..
it's like losing something in me.
heh.
more like, i've got myself cooped up with my own pent-up frustrations, a build-up of insanity, an accumulation of probably joy, sadness, illnesses...
all because i let myself get affect by what others have to say about what i type about.
Then, out of no where today, a part of me goes "oh! screw the fuckers. blog whatever, talk whatever. speak whatever you wanna speak."
so it's pretty much a courtesy that whomever passes by my blog and isn't happy with whatever -WHATEVER- that is typed out on this entire blog address....
just keep your antagonizing dire need to bitch about me, to yourselves, and never on this blog.
besides, seditious materials against anything or anyone is highly unlawful.
just a word from my mouth, to the police, would allow yourself be tracked, brought to court, and ultimately, i will sit my smug ass in court, and watch you get jailed.
revenge is probably the means of the sweetest victory for me.
anyway, school today was terrible.
1. nothing to do okay...
just nothing.. the evening before, xiuwen put some fishes aside for mating..
i woke up late this morning.. =/ i'd told her i'll do the stuff but she'd already done it by the time i got there...
So basically, we slacked and stoned for 2 hours before I decided it was a GREAT time for chris and i to go get the embryos out from all that crap.
took us another hour to clean the eggs, pool them together and then separate them out again..
Took out around 100+++ eggs to put into the master plate that we did the other day..
found out i had too many.. had a surplus of 20+ eggs...
coolios.. =)
anyway, i did something super dumb today....
i'd forgotten i had ian's event to go for.... and went out with peisuan to celebrate her belated birthday instead. =/
but i'd promise her tonight's celebration a month ago...
i felt really bad about ditching ian's handing over ceremony... sigh..
sorry dude.. i really didn't mean it.. it really slipped my mind coz i was looking forward to meeting peisuan lah...
we were supposed to go watch a movie.. but tickets sold out.. or wasn't in favour of our time...
so ended up munching on biscuit bread and kaya and butter and hot milo at ya kun's...
honestly. the bread feels like a biscuit rather than BREAD.
i like my bread crispy, yes. only on the exterior. not inside and out.
wasted my $1.60...
so we went walking alllll around the malls... and couldn't find the shops i wanted.. we lost our way... =S
in any case, i hope i have nothing on on monday night....
going out with ps again.. haha
we weren't satisfied that our evening was ruined by her saxophonist tutor..
so we're going to watch movie.. heh heh..
and prolly in the later part of the week, i'll be following gins to the dog farm to pick up her lil' puppy sunkist...
it's a 2 month old female schnauzer... black and yellow..
i'd say, black and blonde.. and i won't be surprised if little sunkist is a little ditzy.. :)
terra's more ditzy than terrorising nowadays...
anyway, gins's figuring out who to ask to be babysitter for her dog.. her mom would prolly mistreat her dog...
so she's been going around pleading anyone she trusts to help her out..
i'd help babysit the dog, but i'd be in school.. i can't possibly bring the pup to school..
donny would freak out....
blargh...
speaking of which.. i have over 100 pets in school to care for..
my zebra fishes. dammit.
have to go back to school on weekends now.
should've just done some other project... prolly, the mice project with siping and elene....
dammit..
sigh......
argh.
no matter, will perservere...
went in search for THE bag again..
nearly there, but still not quite.. get what i mean?
go figure.
whah lao..!
i think this is the first time in ages, I felt stressed, and it wasn't due to exams.
Stress factors:
#1 - an impressionable presentation to my accessors in 2 days time
#2 - nyaa journals (both GURU and YING SHYA asked me for them. i'm like, screwed right?)
#3 - club room matters (gawd, I finally got back my club room, now i have to
CLEAN IT AGAIN, and furnish it!?!?! sobs)
#4 - financial issues (they're always there, innit?)
gawdammit.
sigh.
i wish i can break free..
hurts. my back.
my back hurts and hurts and hurts like a mother effer.
ow ow ow ow owwww.
i need my painkillers.
badly.
=(
school has been alright so far..
abit unconstructive as i've been wrecking my brains on what to do for my projects..
i have a rough idea, but exactly how? i'm not sure.
the directions to take are hazy and foggy and what not.
blah.
anyway ah, got the new logbook. it looks, well, like a logbook. grid squars, not much lines and stuff like that.
mom wants me to move back to my room. i guess i could do that, but no wind at home #1...
my room at aunt's place is so much windier.
uncle ricky was with 2 of my course mates the previous night. what was he doing? i don't want to know, don't want to ask.
abit weird to have a 40 year old hanging out with two 18-year old girls. hmm.
*shrugs*whatever makes him happy. whatever.
anyway, he's going back to europe again for another 2 months i think.
i'll call him up and ask him where he be headed to, and get him to buy some stuff back for me.. =D
i want clothes and shoes and bags and sweets and sunglasses and hats and.. and.. food.. and headphones and watches and... oh everything he can bring back i want lah.
raarrr...
i can't wait till i sort my project direction right..
and get started in optimizing the damn concentration of the compounds.
everyone else is doing cell culture, fungi, and proteomics, microbiology and what not...
mine is called: Developmental biology.
it's a new field of research. and will always be. =)
ain't that cool?
if i can crack down this project, wouldn't that be cool?
i'll publish a journal paper on what chris and i have, get that AD, get that scholarship into NUS or NTU, and get my name known for that experiment that i will be doing within the next 10 weeks or so.. not enough time.
dammit.
argh.. ok lah.. outta here..
byeee..
gruesome... just so disgusting...
what I am about to show you is probably one of the most disgusting, heartless, cruel, abusive and murderous things that I've ever seen (or anyone, perhaps) done to a living creature.
This person will not walk away from her crime uncaught. she will NOT.
This is seriously not for those with weak stomachs. Heed my advice and not go on with this post (unless you want your appetite to be ruined for the next month or so).
i'm warning you....
this is gonna get graphical.
you know what?
i'll just show you the first eight pictures.
the rest are seriously too brutal and gruesome to be shown to anyone at all..
but if you do want the rest of the pictures, then email me or leave a note with your email add...
i won't keep it in my inbox or my computer for any longer than the next 3 weeks.
that's all the time frame i'm giving you if you want the rest of the pictures. actually i shouldn't even give it to anyone.. it's just inhumane that some freak would even kill a life like that.
she really should be put to jail, caned and banned all her life from being any where NEAR to an animal. she is sadistic.
small pictures for the last 4 pictures for my lovely readers.
i don't want to kill your appetite too much.
someone please track this woman down and report her to the police, whereever she may be at. she needs to be taught a lesson.
i wouldn't want her around ANYONE. imagine - what if she does the exact same thing to a child? *shudders*
i can't imagine it.. if you can, you're sick.
thinking, sitting, wishing.
today was alright.
somethings i just wish to blog out, but argh.. shan't. can't. won't.
they're carrying out renovations to the air flow system in school currently. it stinks badly of wielded metal and burnt plastic. I usually run to the zebrafish lab to try and get my nose neutralised, but obviously... inhaling the smell of a wet market certainly doesn't give to any possible positive change..
I resort to running to the hepA lab to get my fresh air. Then again, inhaling in sickly viruses isn't my thing too.. the damn humidifier smells of E.coli, goodness gracious! )=
Took some gorgeous (but still, hideous looking) pictures of the zebrafish today..
the chorions are infested with bacteria and i'm still wondering how on earth to get them dirt off the water and off those chorions..
heh heh.. anyway, yeah...
argh..
i'm so tired..
shall go R&R... rest and relax..
=) amusement
I love it how people love dissing me without even thinking that their words look stupid 2 seconds after posting it. =P
Amusement! simply delightful.. hahahahaha...
yeah, so i diss others too, that's why i find '
their' comments simply.. well, interesting.
but of course, i have to blog
something just so these uber bored restless souls have something to bitch about and diss me for..
and of course, if i don't blog, they'd have nothing to say, and hence, they'd just go disturb someone else.
oh. siiigh.
you restless souls are just so predictable sometimes. perhaps they should just stick to their own blogs or little circle of sanity and not prod into others' and get all insane while at it..
raaarrrrr! hahah.. werd.. i ain't gonna sell myself short on all these nonsensical
'seemingly real cyborgs'. They don't deserve any respect from me if they're going to come barging into my place insulting me. sheesh.
but they ARE amusing anyway.. :)
oh yeah, we went to NUS this morning to get zebrafish embryos!! It's located somewhere in NUS actually... in the TLL fish faculty.
quite interesting, the place is so huge.. huger than before actually.. =)
anyway, i spent 2 hours travelling today from home to TLL, TLL back to school..
it was entirely boring.. but at least there was annuar to chat with on the way back to school.. =)
We spent the afternoon cleaning out one tank.. i think there's alot of water stuck in the system... we over drained the tank.. hopefully the bacterial seeds are still alive..
Tomorrow we'll be cleaning out the other tank.. =P
and autoclaving like SO many other things...
3 bottles, 3 measuring cylinders, and like err... i don't know what else, i'd think of something...
ah crap...
i haven't searched for some protocols.. will blog soon... =)
i can't think of a better title
eh, you don't have to know what i'm doing right now, but if you're really that interested, i'm sitting on the sofa, watching my lil bro play on the xbox while we read this. ;)
I woke up so early today, I suppose I broke all records leh. 5.20am, but then again, I promptly went back to sleep and only woke up 11 minutes later. *sheepish grin*
In any case, I was trying to look busy all day long, before the proj. superstar finallists ang junyang and chew sin huey arrived. (even after they arrived, i had to look like i'm busy doing MY job too.. so what great difference did it make?)
hmmm.. honestly, my take on them.. they looked overwhelmed by the school fangirls trying to hone in on them like how a hornet attacks it's silly screaming victim. my gosh, I swear, I had such a hard time trying to tell this bunch of PLMGS girls that "no, i'm sorry, you're NOT allowed to ask for autographs, nor are you allowed to take any pictures WITH any of the two."
Come to think about it, I should've said something like, "do you see me taking pictures with them? no. so you're not allowed too. Do you see me asking for their autographs? no. so you're not allowed too. I think you should get what I mean. On the other hand... want to take picture with ME..?" and then i'll just give this super impish grin.
OR ORRR!!! i know, how about, "NO." plus a super beady-eyed thousand-soul-penetrating stare.
Yes, that ought to work. I swear, PLMGS girls are the worse bunch next to IJ girls (i only know IJ girls are really fan crazy over anyone with a minor celebrity status, coz i've seen it happening in school itself.) but hey, single-gendered schools, i know what they're like - deprived.
I suppose those 6 of them hates me like near insanity now. =) tough. so what?
we don't deny so, or rather
I don't deny so. we really are deprived, but some of us (like me) turn out better than
other people who are SO two-faced and contradicting with bad taste for guys. honestly... sigh. no shan't say no more.
Anyway, had a really great lunch! buffet.. mwhahahaha... it was lovely lovely.
then what ah... had like, whah.. (now i shall be crazy fangirl and go gaa-gaa) dr vivian balakrishnan (correct spelling not?), dr maliki (humaira was SO jealous i was standing on stage with him) and the directors of National youth council around..
whahahs... like sooo coooool (ok, not really. but coz they're all important people, obviously i HAVE to say something really nice right?)
so yah lah, nothing much today, because I slacked my life away today.
I saw hong chuan!!! =) so glad to see him!
i'll have to mail him soon, plus raymond and steven for my testimonials and letters of acknowledgement, participation and contributions.
Then, get my lovely friendly secretariat to do up a testimonial for me too of my contributions. wheeeee!
so happy.
raarrrr.... okay, which reminds me (of a totally different topic altogether)....
how does one get to ayer rajah cresent?
every one tells me "at nus there lor"
but hor... i don't know how to get there leh.. hahaha... the really surprising thing is that annuar happens to go to the same place as chris and i, just that he'll be at a different block. =)
argh..
okay, i wanna go sleep some more..
byeee!!
i need some shut eye
my 4000 winks, however you may call it?
yeah, i really need it tonight.
need to look good tomorrow morning!
my frigging shirt is so small.. =S oh well, shan't complain. haha..
anyway, er, yeap.
i actually have many stories to tell you all, but i just can't put those thoughts into proper sentences that might just sound good.
so you'll just have to bear with the non-sensical stuff from me.
my current project requires so much more tests and experiments other than that daily 'spot the difference' activity that chris and i have to do.
garh! hahas...
oh gosh.
stress stress.
anyway, was in school today.. to return dr donny her journal papers.
she gave us more papers to go look through.
oh thanks alot. -sigh-
but i needed those papers anyway, lol.
they were pretty essential, come to think about it.
saw ian in school today. he came for his project handover session.
okay i have to go.
i've got an early morning tmr...
gotta call that felix.
it's saturday, not sunday, dude!
5th edition genetics
i have
renamed my blog once again.
5th edition genetics.
wait, i think i said that before.
heh..
raaarrrrr...
i'm bored.
today was interesting. =)
camp was GREAT. well, alot of hiccups along the way, but we finished before time..
which to me, was a great plus. haha..
get get off earlier.
sub-comm peeps are GREAT. =D
anyway, didn't have lunch, spilt my packet all over me and then yea..
haiz... headed back to zfish lab for project briefing...
it seems like this year, none of them teachers are able to make a solid decision..
keep changing jobs, keep changing projects. sian lor!
Actually, if chris and i were to be doing the protein profiling, we only have like SO little to do.. (we were having a mini celebration just now due to knowledge of work load!)
THEN donny came and told chris and i of our NEW project details.
small molecule screening in zfish.
it's like... um.. right. must be expert on zfish morphology...
know what's the slightest difference in the zfish phenotype, and if need be, genotype..
very very tedious work.
boring too..
i forsee MANY hours spent peering down that leica microscope..
=P
anyway, we were gossiping with the year 3 students..
they're pretty much fun man! :D
hahs....
blah, have to go now.. byeeee!!!
will. not. lose. temper.
i won't lose my temper. but..
screw you bitches.
thanks for your repayment of 'kindness'. elicia, next time, don't even answer the phone.
you think I don't see, but I SEE YOU ALL RUNNING AWAY.cowards. all of them. all them 6-7 of them.
fucking cowards.
from one corridoor, RUN to the other end.
from one floor, RUN to the other floor.pfft.
scaredy cats.
like whatever.
elene's right.
they're not worth our time or anger.
but my self-promise sticks true to me.
only felix and i knows of it. =)
anyway, tired. sleep time.
yeowch! acupuncture PLEASE!
I seriously am in desperate need to go find myself a good chinese physician... to go do some serious acupuncture on my back. it's been hurting like some thousand years of bee-stings!!
Was chatting with my lovely dearest tutor, Yamei! =)
She told me she just sprained her back and was afraid to tell her grandfather (who's a chinese physician, btw).
She's terrified he might just go:
"YAMEI!!!! WHY YOU NEVER TELL ME YOU SPRAAAINED YOUR BAAAACK ARH?!?!?! YOU COME HERE NOOOOOOOW!!!!"and let her back get broken into 500 little fragments of nothing. =P
hahaha...
Anyway, i'm going to look for that acupuncturist in bishan if i can.
OH! Thank Buddha! for today marks the last day of the exams!
(tomorrow's the last day of Year 2 for me tho. Chris and I start our project on this coming Monday.)
heh heh...
Uncle Henry's is gonna be fun fun fun!!
you know, I'm gonna be paid $450 to do health screenings! (Uncle Henry told me I'd prolly be able to practice my html skills coz he needs someone to do up a website for him.)
There's lots of other things to do as well, besides health screenings, and websites...
there's stuff like report writing (easy! I hope!), research and well... we'll see when we get there in June!
The place is somewhere at Ayer Raja... no idea where that is, but mom says it's in Jurong... thank god i have to only get there at 9am..
I can follow uncle ricky's transport home after that.. and take a train home or something... maybe i'll ask mom if i can stay there not.. haha... i'll help clean the house and stuff..
buh-largh...
see how then say lah. i don't even sweep the floor at #2.. =P
okok, well, anyway...
helping sherwin with his stuff.. when i really ought to be doing up the proposal.
argh.
okay, will go do it now.
byeeeeeee!!!
=D
the end of the exams is like the fart of one's life!
=) one time instant hit wonder.
WOW.
=)
how amusing it's been.
I blog about ONE person, and 3 'people' reply?
all of the same IP address too!!!
lovely lovely...
Anyway, won't be doing much today..
going to the library with amanda to chill and memorise notes..
=) I won't be going to Nestle after all!
i'll be going to Uncle Henry's for my attachment!!! =) =) =)
happy happy joy joy lalalalalalaaaa!!!! hahahs....
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