my frustration, disappointment. my anger.
A recent (ok, not so recent) revelation has kept me in a very pent up frustration and angry mood lately...
and the most sickening part of it is that, the source of my anger and pent up frustration comes from a very, very dear friend of mine.
nevermind if arden calls me a nosy, devil faced, insignificant fool. i don't mind it really, coz now that i come to think of it, i'm not very nosy, my nose is small and cute, and however insignificant i am, i'm still more popular than he is by default.
but nevermind if my best friends think i'm weird and crazy.. that's who i am, I guess..
but when it comes to this particular individual lying to me, it upsets me SO much to the extent that I hate her altogether.
this person is none other than Charmaine Foo.babe, let me ask you,
WHAT did I do to you to make you lie to me to that extent?
Why do you even do that?
Who made you do it?
Is it because I had more authority over everyone back in secondary school?
Or was it because the older girls made you do it?
what is it that made you LIE to me about EVERYTHING?You
KNOW I hate liars, yet you never owned up to it, never stopped your stupid games, just kept on going on and on and on about it...
I found out of your lies, so easily, I just didn't want to
embarass you tremendously by telling you straight in your face that:
1) I found pictures of 'stanley', and
2) your dad doesn't actually own that hotel.
do you know how much it disappointed me to know that
YOU, of ALL other people, someone whom I treated specially, so much like a sister that i never had, could just hurt me with your stupid games?
In order to make you tell me that "yes, I lied" just those 3 words, I had to tell you a lie. I hated myself for it then and I still do. But to make you say it, I had to.
Now, michelle has told me to forgive and forget, I'm sorry chel.. i can't.
i find that I REALLY cannot bring myself to forgive this cunning soul of hers. you won't understand what i've been through, thinking that I could finally find someone to share my joys and woes with, only to find out the ugly truth by myself (with the help of yours) that everything was made up, everything's just a lie. It's like telling me that this really cute guy is nothing but a guy who loves dick.
no, you won't understand what i feel.
Charmaine, I really truly hate you for lying to me like that. I really really do. you really brought this on yourself.It's not like I didn't give you chances to tell me that you were sorry and that you lied and what you lied to me about. I'm always there, always online, always
HERE for you and this is what i get in return?
For me to find out the truth by myself, really takes it off the list that I should even forgive you.
A sister wouldn't do that to her own sisters.
But you did.
i just really don't understand you.
Right now, I don't even know YOU at all.
who the hell are you?
besides your name being charmaine foo, what else are you?
are you
lesbian? coz to me, you seem to be a
closet lesbian..
are you who you even describe to be?
Until you tell me who you really are, and why you lied to me so..
i'm not going to be as friendly to you as I used to be.
befitting title of a blog!
See my blog's new name?
thanks to Ms Mercy L. hor....
i'm now the 'closet bimbo'. And I would quite agree with her, coz for some reason i AM becoming a freaking IJ-ish bimbo that I was SUPPOSED to be when I was still schooling with a frigging blue pinafore and white see-through blouse.
RARRRRR!!!!
amanda, quit smirking, i can already hear you denying it...
ANYWAY!!!!!guesswhatguesswhatguesswhat!?!?!?!? *grins*
I SWEAR I SAW MELVIN'S FACE ON TODAY'S HOME SECTION! actually, it IS him. I just wanted to make a hoohaa outta it coz he's always the joker and for joker to earn a cool award, i HAVE to make a hoohaa about it. =D
yaaay! congrats, dear brainiac IT friend of mine! hahahahaha...
it was weird seeing melvin's braces-filled teeth glittering all over the picture.. and his eyes are still THAT tiny. heh!
I miss taman negara and my taman negara buddies..
when are we gonna meet again for some road trip or barbeque and krazee bonfire party?
*oh sigh*
anyway, back onto the topic on me being closet bimbo. IT'S MY ALTER EGO!
FEAR THE BIMBO COZ THE BRUTAL CLOSET BIMBO SHALL HAUNT YOUR NIGHTMARES!!!!
buh-largh.
this is stupid.
right, back to molecular genetics.
i fall asleep the moment I read ONE word from anything genetics related. I'm supposed to be crazy over the subject, but hey.. looks like i'm not!
pffft.
and I leave you with a very befitting quote on this sunday afternoon...
courtesy from
Randomguru's blog:
The religion of the future will be a cosmic religion. It should transcend personal God and avoid dogma and theology. Covering both the natural and the spiritual, it should be based on a religious sense arising from the experience of all things natural and spiritual as a meaningful unity. Buddhism answers this description. If there is any religion that could cope with modern scientific needs it would be Buddhism.—-Albert Einsteinsee, even einstein knows enlightenment when he sees one. ;)
buddhism appreciates all who are only but subconscious to their surroundings!
at the midway!
yaaay!!!
i'm at the midway point!!!!
and no the weather is getting frightfully unbearable..
(or maybe i'm just constipated.. drank too much coffee in too little a timespan)
anyway...
3 papers done, 3 more to go! =)
I MUST GET MY B+ on that MOL. GENE paper to get a C average! *sobs*
raaarrrrrr..!
went shopping with peisuan after studying today...
yay!!! haha... i finally bought myself a pair of heels...
now i'm going to be taller than anyone!!!
okay lah, maybe not as tall as the guys in class..
but yeah!!! hahaha
gonna be quite as tall! :D
next will be the clothes... accessories anytime can go get.. whahahas...
raaarrrr okay, a little nap and back to studying!!!!
oooo wweeeee oooooo weeeee oh weee oh weeeeeeeeeeeee....
raarrrrr
going mad orh-leh-lee lah....
sian....
i hate studying for exams...
i get that "oh it's just another paper" syndrome...
=(
i WILL I WILL I WILLLL
raaarrrrrr!!!!
The Bloggist (yours truely) is going mad.
Turning into The Mad Scientist.
RAAAARRRR!!!!!!
ok, here comes my insanity..
I WILL CONQUER THE LAND OF THE BIOPROCESS, THE PROTEIN TECH, AND THE IMMUNOLOGY!!!!!!!!
I WILL I WILL I WILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WILL CONQUER THE WORLD CALLED MOLECULAR BIOTECHNOLOGY!!!!!!! (obviously, just the diploma, not the entire industry)
okay, anyway, now that my dearest tutor (yamei) has set my stupidness aside, i shall go back over to home #2 to continue my work.
end of insanity.
start of madness.
no difference there, eh? *mega-grin*
arrrgh!
next wednesday, thursday and friday (essentially, in less than a WEEK!!!) marks the start of the finals!!!!
O.o
*hyperventilates and needs life-saving from TPB*but to look on the brighter side of things.... 3 down, 3 more to go.. :)
raaaarrrrrrrr!!!!!
looking through deb's photoshoot pictures now.. ;)
will post one of them up when i do get the time..
futari!
today i had two papers...
bioprocess and immuno!
they were alright, i guess.. i hope to score well.. i really do...
anyway, camillus said something cold today..
as in, cold joke...
"every day we are opsinising..."
and i thought to myself, "yah, morning, afternoon, evening and supper"
heh...
and then i told him "what about the scrotum thing?"
cam: oh yah.. i brought my scrotum today!"
heh...
hahahhaa.. sheesh. the stuff that goes on in class... really..
younger bro was really careless today...
mom and i yelled the hell outta him.. he just totally broke down...
he just left his stupid wallet lying around while having softball practice today, and it got stolen in the process..
~$70 gone with the wind.
goodness..
never thought he was
THIS goondoo..
raaarrrrrr!
ok lah
i go do work orlehlee...
byeeeeeeeeeeeee
moved...
my moving meant that i was moving over to the next door apartment...
(i shall boast and say that i live in a 10-room home!)
in any case.. sleep came easy for me last night! =)
yesterday, amanda ah... spent like SOOOO much time looking for those v-day presents..
i don't really get it... but anyway, i walked till i nearly fell asleep, while she was busily prodding me to help her decide which other sample of the present she should pick...
so i told her to go for the more practical and cost-saving one... otherwise she'll have to starve for the next 15 days till the end of the month...
raaarrrr!!
my extra homework still not finished..
i plan on going to school today.. have to print several things...
shall go get my mp3 to load it up and go back over to #2 to do my work...
hahs... mom's watching a bunch of 4 monkeys do some tricks on tv..
she is SO amused..
hahs..
okay lah!
outta here.
yaaaay!!
I had this really kick-assed mother-daughter chat with mom today...
4 hours i think!
before felix came over for about 15 minutes or so to use my scanner..
oh ya, monday have to go school get the bpt report to scan into my come for my group..
so anyway, today, i went to deb's place for dinner.. ahah... steamboat!! :D
and then mahjong-ed for a while before I rushed off to uncle ricky's home for my second dinner..
hahas..
charles' mom gave me another necklace, this time it's this pearly seashell pendant.. hahs.. pink some more.. >_< goodness, but i like it.. hahas..
i was smart enough to remember to wear the watch she and 1st uncle gave to me! :)
uncle ricky was having webcam chat with aunt teresa.. =D
i chatted with her for about 2 hours today! haha..
was playing some stupid lame assed game with eric over the webcam too.. haha..
actually it started out with me showing them my zen micro... then eric took out HIS cooler looking mp3 player and THEN his mobile, so I showed him my cool nokia too..
then he went showing me his home phone, that's when things got stupid.. i show him the big-assed calculator, and he showed me something else (can't remember) then i showed him the water-can spraying thing, then so one and so forth..
the funniest was when my younger bro and i took oranges and put them at our eyes to get super huge orange eyes!
=D
hee hee
then later on my younger bro took two small dish saucers and he had huge white eyes.. lol
anyway, i played sadako with my long hair.. hee hee
it was really funny...
aunt T showed me her cute soft toys; she promised to get me a pair of those cute things.. =) i'm so happy!
and she didn't forget about the webcam too! she promised to get me one as well!! whahaha....
uncle michael was there too in his PJ's.. his belly is SO huge now.. can rival gary's.. dad got skinny and tho it's not exactly a pot belly, it's flat and you can see the outline of his 6-pacs.. hahas.. dad's FIT!
only fit one in the family, actually.. he spends like 5 hours on golf everyday (so like DUH he's got 6-pacs).
arrrgh...
okay, i'm gonna go sleep.
i need a shit session.. raaarrrr!
MOVING OUT!!
whahahs...
i don't know if i ought to be happy or gloomy about it..
but since next door is my home as well, i shall be happy.
hahas...
well, apparently, mom's gonna chuck my out of my room, and into 2nd aunt's home...
so from now on, I don't live at my home, I live next door.
Heh..
drastically redefines 'The girl next door'.
ANYWAY....
i should be moving out over the weekend... which means, the morning on saturday will be spent setting up my new queen-sized bed... (okay, it's not at all new.. and there're TONNES of my cousin's stupid cupboards stacked up inside..
i wonder when that bastard uncle of mine's gonna come over to move them out.
soooo yeah.. hahas... i'm pretty excited about this coz i'm gonna have two whole rooms to myself! :)
cool right?
okok, i have to get back to doing up that stupid summary for meddy micro.. raarrrr..
ARGH!!!! PISSIFYING!!!!
ARGH!!! i'm so pissed...
ALLL my work from last night is LOST!!!!
like, Raaaarrrrrrhhhh!!!!!!!
now i have to re-do the ENTIRE summary of theory and summary of procedure!!
dammit!
>=(
*fumes*bloody hell.
Map Viewerstuff that we do in school.. uber stupid..
raarrr!
rah!!
i slept away my afternoon!!!
yikes! hahas...
anyway, school was b-o-r-i-n-g today.. 1.5 hour of presentations (actually it was 40 minutes for both groups, but AK decided to shoot all the weird questions today.. and like shit, we spent like another 40 minutes or so on Q&As...)
raaarrrrrrr...
perfect day went down the drain all because of ONE stupid class.
just ONE to bore me till i felt so bloody lethargic.
stupid.
give me a new life, o universe. you promised me so.
you
promised me, dammit.
hell, i'm living it, ain't i?
woohoo! raarrrr!!
raaaarrrr!!!
today marks the start of my studying marathon!!
guys, yep.. i guess i've kinda infused all the techniques into one...
classical before i start, after i finish..
rock in between with chinese and canto pop..
and well, i haven't tried the talking bit. i doubt it'll work, the moment i start talking, i don't stop.
that was rather evident with yesterday's study session with felix.. meh.
anyway, studying will continue on thru the whole fcuking solid month of february.
where it's the
Same fcuking shit, Different idiotic day, no?
=)
Let me end off with a crap joke:
What did the panda said 'bout his papa?
"My dad, he was a bi-polar."
x.x
i positively died on that one.
=D cheers and laugh on, mates!
saturdaaaays..
today is a saturday!
went over to felix's place to study... didn't get much done, but yeah...
it was fun.. maybe i'll invite him over next time..
my back hurts like fuck..
like it's about to splinter off into fragments of bones and dust..
hurts like never before..
and i hate this feeling of disability.
i can't even sneeze with liberty.
oh sigh.
fastum don't work no more. =(
anyway, i found studying mol. genes so frustrating today.
I found out it was entirely redundant to learn about mendelian laws and non-mendelian laws...
haiz...
crap lah.
felix was studying about industrial adhesives..
all i could comment on about was "why do we need to learn about adhesives when it's just.. glue? i mean, in the end, it just sticks shit together, right?"
he just went laughing to no end.. hahas..
ah well....
edwin spoilt the electone.
the 'la' key can't play.
you know what? i'm gonna go nap for a while...
ughs.
someone has been lying a whole fat lot to me for a few years now.
I don't think I really like this person.
To be a little gender specific, I don't like
HER.
She probably knows who the
fuck hell she is..
she's admitted to lying to me, but for the fact that she didn't bother telling me what she's been lying about to me, and left me to go figure it out myself, makes me hate her even more.
and for me to actually FIND out (not deliberately trying to find out) about how she based her lies here and there...
makes me fume in frustration and anger.
*******
So, I edited this entry.
I did get my sleep in the afternoon. and 'thanks' to it, dammit, I can't sleep now.
SOOOOO... i'm listening to shan wee now..
dammit, he sounds reaaaally good.. why is he even on the late night show?
hmmm.. then again, most people listen to the radio at this time... that's if they're not already sleeping. hahs.
Anyway, was watching "Dreamcatcher" and "Losing Isiah"..
they're nice shows, really.. but watching morgan freeman on the movies twice in a day is just urghs. not that I don't like him, but uhm... yeah..
nevermind, then.
soooo.. yeah..
chatted some with one...
we both agreed andrew owes us a meal each when he gets his ass back from wherever he's at.. =P
I don't think andrew would mind anyway.. hahas..
hahas.. yay.. gonna meet up with imad over next week or something to discuss some stuff over a cuppa..!
one's coming along to help us out with it.. yeps..
can't wait. hahs..
anyway, study session with felix later in the afternoon..
so yeah.. gotta run now...
byeeeeeee...
Bish---an!
WHAHAHAHA....
Finally got my Organisor!!! =) can start planning planning planning!
*cheers*Went home with elicia yesterday... she's so funny that girl..
anyway, today...
today was quite a drag, but it got spruced up when elicia suggested to go out of school for an hour or two..
so since we had nothing to do (or rather we had a CRAZY 5 hour break)...
we decided to go to Bishan to for a walk-walk..
obviously, we were too early... supp lecture ended at 9, and we were in j8 at 10...
so we walked around for a bit before stopping at coffee bean's for my mudpie and her cheesecake...
hahas... the mudpie was urgh... so gross... if it was any warmer, i'd have enjoyed it fully.. but no, it wasn't.. didn't finish the mudpie anyway..
umm.. yah, then walked and walked till around 12, talked a whole lot...
elicia was trying to find a gold bag for a pencil case..
we found one, but it's a handbag.
anyway, yeah...
went back to school and i did my protein tech report... hahahs..
later gonna do my molecular genetics report..
have to spend some quality time with that report... I MUST get that A+ for that report.. I don't care how i'm gonna do it, but i HAVE to.
maybe i shall reprint my protein tech report tomorrow..
it looks disgusting...
didn't come out properly...
grrr.!
hmm tmr got mol. gene extra tutorial... weeeee! hahas..
uhmmmm..... yarh.. okay..
i shall go do my report now..
eh.. immuno got e-prac to pass up not? =S
go go go!!
-hahas-
Oh, crap.
yay.. finally got my organisor..
bought the same one as elicia's.. just that mine's brown, hers' is black... =)
i need a change of colours.. so brown would do fine for me.. hahs..
Anyway, yeah...
i got a grand total of $107 this year..
actually had $132... but i spent $25 on that organisor..
have to save up again to make it up to $132...
geez...
alright, time to get back to work...
once i complete the stupid resume, can send to jay then yay!!
can go yaya in front of the tv and watch zhang san feng already!
yaya!
cheers!
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