Anatomy, Cell Technology, IM, and all the other random crap....
All that crap WILL give me my grades...
provided i can finish reading them by monday night...
Anyway, yeah, studied a tiny bit today.. on the mono/poly clonal antibodies and how they work...
sian....
later reading inorg chem... tmr bringing some IM notes down to study.. as well as some MBT.. die.. i haven't read MBT nor ABC...
kk back to studying i guess...
frigging shiat....
well let's see....
today, went to school, handed up some work, did the fishes, found some more new fishes in the tank... I suppose I'll find a few more in the tanks again tmr... no worries, they'll be there...!
Then, what else....
oh right, went shopping for my text book. Shopping for a
FREAKING TEXT BOOK.
SHOPPING.dammit, I never knew I could go SHOPPING for a text book. never in my life, never! ah well, I suppose I'll be doing that pretty much more often than needed.
So yeah, bought my Tortora textbook... cost me only like what... $58.84? hahahahs...
so happy. And here I thought I'd have to pay like $73.96 for it. shit man.
I found that mbt book from watson at kino's as well... no, it's not bmt, it's mbt. It stands for Molecular Biology and Techniques. Shitass.. it costs $138.52....
freaking kinokuniya. They are by far... THE ONLY book shop I've known to want customers to pay such freakingly odd dominations. What's this shit about 52 cents, or 84 cents... 96 cents.. next thing you know, they want me to pay them 3 cents, coz it's for gst. shit them.
Anyway, yeah.... bought my book, bought gary a pair of pants... well, I was with mom, so what the heck. hahahahaa.. she was just telling me how fat I was, and I told her i'm normal sized. at least to my own opinion, that is. It's just that orchard road is one fucking biased road.
They only sell clothes to the aneroxic people. damn them. The only place mom thinks that sells reasonably good stuff is Marks&Spencer's.. and I couldn't agree more! hmph!
anyway, study time... did so much shopping today, I didn't have the time to read or study...
dammit... i think i'll leave everything to reading already...
byeee!
omigawd
well, let's see... school at 9.30... fed the fishes and helped out the seniors till about 11... we found baby fishes in the HUGE tank... my god... i killed one accidentally.. it got stuck in the sponge... can't be helped... i saved 6 fishes...
dunno where the rest went to.
Was supposed to stay till 3.30 for sign language.. but I wanted to study, so I went to meet peisuan in the new library and hogged that Tortora book again.. I'm gonna go BUY the book tmr at kinokuniya's.... and prolly help rica wrap up that book of her's... it's so... flimsy...
Hmmmmm.... had quite alot of fun studying today.. hahahas... although I must say I saw a few familiar old uncles from the day before at the library again today.. I suppose they're doctors doing their research.. or at least, professors in their field of study..
Then, I saw that annoying indonesian man and the old indonesian lady.. they struck my attention more than the two other old men, coz yesterday, that indonesian guy when banging the stupid table in frustration while I was trying to study, and he was sitting opposite me. Not only that, he and the old lady (about 60+)were busy whispering and laughing at their own jokes.. I suppose that lady is his mom..
Anyway, those two old men... one looks like a void deck kopitiam ah pek....
the other looks like he could have very well just came back from a sweat-free golf game with that englishman's beret that he wears and hardly takes off..
Both ALWAYS have thick tomes of books surrounding them at any one time.. I feel so inferior next to them...and void deck kopitiam ah pek wears a polo t-shirt, above-the-knees bermudas, and sandals.
Golfer beret ah pek wears that beret of his, his polo t-shirt, and i never have the time to know what pants he wears... whether it's bermudas or jeans or workpants.. i dont' know... perhaps I'll know tomorrow when I go back there to study again... tomorrow, I'll do mbt and cell tech.. I'm dreading industrial micro and analytical biochemistry... but yeah...
Saturday... freaking shit saturday.....
well, aunt swee kim will be coming this friday night, with her whole entourage of family and relatives and her sons' girlfriends...and on saturday, what I've heard is that uncle ricky has planned a tour round singapore. i'm like 'ummmmmm....?' right..
i've prolly been round town over a thousand times, through the historical places for over at
LEAST a good 5 times. I don't really get the places well, but I know briefly what happened then and what's in the place.
In any case, I have sign language to do.. and that's till 9pm. And if I didn't have sign language, I'd have SU's Camp Amityville... which I didn't feel like going in the first place. Nevermind, I'll just go on the 31st, just to show my face and get to know the rest of them...
Joash and gang will be there...
hmmmmm.. what else.....?
i should bring aunt sweekim's sons out for supper and a movie, or pubbing if they want..ah.. see how first lah... it's good all of them are at least over 18.. hahas.. it saves me the effort of finding out what shows they can watch and what they can't watch...
Anyway, time to go mug for cell tech and filling up the blanks in inorg chem lecture notes.... dammit... so tired, yet still have so much to do....
migraines a ringin'
Well, I spent a good solid 5 hours studying today.....
Went to CP's library to get my cuppa coffee... before deciding with rica to go over to the brand new library... god.. i LURVE level 7 so much.
not only is it my most favourite number (no prizes to guess why), the tables there are humungously HUGE and big and SOOOOO white and niiiiiice!!!!
Oh, before I go on gushing on how nice those BIG tables are, I met shakeila and xiaohui at han's at level 1 outside the library studying HBD...
hahahs.. it so coincidently came by that i brought HBD to study as well, coz I was thinking of studying Cell Tech when i got home... which is what i'm doing now...
okay, not
NOW, but yarh lah... hahahahahs....
where's that serica...? she said she'll send over those slides on osseous tissue to me...
anyway, i gotta go.. i hope it's better reading the words now.. not as strenous as before? hahahahs...
toodles! =P
welcome back!!!
heee!!! lum pei suan is BACK in da HOUSE!!!! wheee-ooo-pheeeet!!! ;)
and she and the band came back with... check this out... a
second division GOLD in the WORLD MUSIC COMPETITONS!!!!!!
is that COOL or WHAT?!?! I hope she gets a placement in SYSO soon...! hee!
Congrats my dear!
hahahas.. i should've begged you to get one of those carbonated orange/lemon/grape mineral waters from those German gas station stops... those 2L bottles.. man... i'd LOVE to drink that for 3 days allllll by myself. ;) singapore doesn't even supply those sorta waters... them governments just don't know what they're missing out on...
that water provided SO much detoxification for me!!!
and ALL THAT WINE... marvelous! it just makes me wanna go back to europe for another tour...
In any case.. i haven't been studying today.. i have to get started on my cell tech just after this.... so yeps....
alright.. i'll be changing that gawd-forsaken damned picture... tho i just adore the car... it's like *faints* sweeet luuuurve to me.. hahaha... okay, imma outta here!
P.S to PS: oh, hell yeah i'm laughing and sniggering at that overly salted soup you tasted!!! hahaha! i bet you shrunk in size in any case! i did when i went to europe!
whah... school sucks....
i thought my printer was bad... the school's printers are worse.. they can't even read my hard disk! sickos....
anyway, you should've read about it...
I was just telling Lee just 2 nights ago, "but what if some punk panicked... and he isn't one of those bombers? and the police shot him dead... wouldn't that be killing the innocent as well?"
and he replied, "well our police have had a shot to kill order"
but... what if the guy wasn't even in the loop and he's really very innocent?
I just knew that that brazillian guy was just as panicked as all the rest of the passengers in the carriage.. tsk. he could've been saved after all... if only he took off his coat...
See... today's papers... he was cleared as an innocent. Why can't they just shoot them in the thighs or their ankles... why the head? =(
this is so saddening.....
Anyway, i went to school... did the fishes... and then went back... maybe tmr i'll take a closer look at the other fishes... see how they're doing...
tsk. i just feel so annoyed at the british.. i know they mean well to have a shoot-to-kill order, but why can't they just them bad enough to temporary paralysis to the legs, and make the bomb squad disarm the fella and take him back for questioning?
In any case, they should give that poor brazillian dude a PROPER burial. One that is worthy for him. He was at the wrong place, at the wrong time.. and most importantly...
He is after all, an innocent.
new skin!!
okay... i digressed from my books for 4 hours today... *guilt driven*
hahahas...
just to do this stupid layout that you're looking at now...
=)
anyway, whatever it is...
i'm going back to my books... die.... 91 topics....
PAAARTTAYYY!!!
went over to alex's place for that party tonight...! hahas.. it was simply splendid!!
=) we played stupid games, got drunk and charlene, michelle and mervin ended rofl... literally... rolling on the floor, laughing their asses off like it was the funniest thing ever.
what was so funny?
alex is a sick guy. he's got a virus in him.. a 'flu virus, but we didnt' mind that much.. =) nope, not at all! hahs...
on the contary, being sick makes alex a very confused and slow-reaction guy..
we played this really stupid game, which was really easy to grasp even for drunk idiots like me.. hahas....
but since alex is sick, a primary school sociology teacher, and who's currently drunk on 3 cups of wine..
anyway, whatever i say now really doesn't make any sense as i'm now a lil high on alcohol.. heee! i had 7 cups of wine... 1 red and 6 rose wines... sweeeet! i love rose wines! so light and nice! =D
so yeah, we all went home via chok sin's car... but hweebin, mervin and alex went to great world city for their movie... "The Island".
I'm still not down with my reports... die... tmr must chiong them!! left only a bit more, but i'm not gonna risk doing them now, seeing that i can't even type a proper sensible post.. whahahahhahas!!! :P
btw, mark sooooo cannot appreciate wine!!!!
he's just not a drinker. to him, he MUST drink LOTS of wine, or something alcoholic, and that's what he calls hardcore... he's abit stupid really....
dumb ass.......
anyway, time for sleep for me....
before i utter anything else fuckingly stupid. peeehehehehehehh!!!!
byeee!
nights!!!
oyasumi!!!
bon nuit!
wan an!
goo nigh! (that's my aunt's way of saying good night! shahahahs!!!)
and my way...
Toddles!!! =P
weekly shittin'....
TTT::I'd give up chocolate, but I'm no quitter.::Onesome:I'd give up-- Is there anything you've given up that you're proud of? Or something you gave up on that you wish you hadn't?The one thing I gave up of and I was proud of it... was prolly an impending fight I was to have with a friend.. only coz I was sick of her and i just hated bickering.. lol.. but it took ALOT of effort just to do that.
Something I had to give up and I was utterly sad about was to give up my offer to foundation year at Trinity College at UNSW... that was the worse thing I had to do..
I'm still sore about it.. =(
Twosome: chocolate-- What's your favorite way to treat yourself? Would you kill for chocolate or would you rather have something else?My favorite way to treat myself wouldn't be chocolates... I don't really like them, on the contary.. they're just another form of sweets to me.. rich milky sweet.. anyway.. my favorite way to treat myself when i'm down would be to take a walk somewhere not many people would go.. to be alone and take notice of other things and think things out in my mind..
Threesome: but I'm no quitter-- Is there anything you think you should give up, but you refuse to do it?Yeah, I should give up ALOT of things actually.. but I refuse to, coz it will only hinder my way to a better future..
FRIDAY'S FEASTAppetizerWhat kind of car do you drive? If you could make an even trade for any other car, what would you want to drive?I don't drive a car.. lol..haven't even gotten my license to boot.
But i'd love to drive an opel speedster!!
SoupTake your phone number and add each number together separately (example: 8+6+7+5+3+0+9=38) - what's the total?hmmm 35....
SaladWhen were you last outside, and what were you doing?Telling gary not to drive the family car like a modified race car. It
WAS a frigging VIOS afterall.. just a VIOS, not a race car.
Main CourseWhat is your favorite restaurant, and what do you usually order there?my favourite restaurant.. ajisen ramen! hahas... the ramen there! =)
DessertName 3 things in which you occasionally indulge.1) water
2) rice
3) air.
heh! ^_^"
UMTolerate:: i have none of that recently
Release:: i wanna get out of my mind.
My soul:: it's troubled.
Sax;:: reminds me of peisuan and her barritone sax!!
HP:: read it already! snape's the HBP and dumbledore DIED!!!
Worth:: how much are YOU worth, you fucking bitch?
Rockstar:: bon jovi
Terrify:: stupid fucking terrorists.. they should die and burn in hell!
Knock me off my feet:: coz i'd like to be knocked off?
Taunt:: *smirks* as if.
so sleepy....
i'm like so tired, but haven't got any will to get any sleep....
anyway, yeah, today didn't have school, but I went back there anyway...
to teach the seniors how to deyolk fish eggs, how to change the system water for one of the tanks, to pick out my fishes (of which one got stabbed in its tail and is now horridly bent.. that siuwen.. grr...) and to do up more salt solutions..
Then, I went to meet Mr Ong and Ms Ang.. sian, had a SECOND interview from the first one... so sick. I got grilled twice! so unfair..... hurmph....
discussed some stuff with them, then I met up with kumaran and the 0405 gang outside the teachers' rooms... hahas.. they're such a fun bunch...
I'll be joining them up for revision sessions all through next week.
I'm supposed to be doing my work, but i've slacked the whole of today..
so later when i wake up, and hopefully not feeling bitchy, i'll try to finish up my MBT and cell tech reports... sucker shit things....
tsk.
sleep time.
am i, or am i not?
am i finally geared up to study for my tests? I saw a great big F on the list next to my name for human bio... but i kinda expected that, since I didn't even study at all...
Anyway, I thought I'd just blog abit first before trying to complete that vast amount of lab reports... they're such a bitch doing them.. tsk.
Times like these, I really hate school... actually, come to think of it, I don't really see the point to studying in science, but since I'm in it, I might as well just skim along it hurh?
hmmmmm... I just feel like doing some other thing than work.. ughs.. can't think that way....
I must do well and look forward to the future: dissecting dead mice.
I'm sadistic, but I think that's the ONLY thing keeping me from straying away from the course. hahaha.. I just love that idea of dissecting things.. or at least, operating on them...
Okay, I think it's time for me to go do my work. toodles.
oh goody!!!
i know this sounds freaking sick, but I'm gonna be cutting up mice soon!!! =D
and i can't wait to do it!!! whahahahas.....
let's talk.
R: Hey! let's talk.
S: okay, 'bout what today?
R: hmmmm... meh, i don't know.. just about sommat, i guess....
S: .....
R: ....
S: this won't work out, y'know?
R: i thought as much, but we're talking now!
S: .....
Why did I use R and S? no idea. maybe coz I hated the whole stereotypical A and B...
or maybe they were just initials to real persons names.... who knows?
Anyway, school today was fun.. I played some captain's ball with my classmates... it was fun, but I didn't feel good after a while, so I gave up playing.. i've been getting sick the past week now.. hahas.. ah well... i supposed it's well-deserved..
I met up with ms eunice after school. She was really frank and all.. hahs.. not really a nice meeting, it could have been better... But the really great part is that the fishes are nearly a month old now..
=) we're all really happy, coz the fishes didn't use to survive more than 15 at one go.. the max they'd go was 12 days, on really lucky accounts, 18. Most of them die after 5 days.
But this batch, I hope they go better than 1 month.. I hope they turn out big and strong and they'd breed and all that.. I still can't really differentiate which is male or female. But i'm getting there, I think.
Hmmmmm.. I've finished the harry potter book! it was a good read!! at least it's not as gruelling and ardous as the last 2 books. They'd gripped a vice-like hold on me and had me reading it non-stop. I'd rather have liked to take my time reading the book, but my brothers wanted to have a go at it too, so I promised them they'll have it by today, and they got their deal.. hahas...
But overall, this book allowed me to put the book down and many parts, or maybe my craze over the series kinda died down with the dwindling number of installments left.
Which is close to zero now that this book came out...
hahahas... I think I'll miss this particular series ALOT once all 7 books are over...
I do really hope JK.Rowling does a surprise and wonderful job at ending the series... not like the LoTR one.. the LoTR series ending was so cliched, disappointing, and made me feel like I ate something really bad and wanted to puke....
Well, if she's not gonna come up with another HP book after those 7 books, I'd hope to find that she's got another 7-novel series coming up. it'd be so cool, having something like 7 series of 7-novel series-es.. hahahs... a total of 49 writes from her, she'd be reign as one of the best-selling authors around! hahas.. it'd take her 70 years to write those books, if the HP took her over 10 years... lol
just skeptulating, that's all... ;)
Anyhow, school starts 10 tomorrow, but I gotta be there at 9 to feed those fishes. I expect to see that weijie and kelvin to clean out all that dirt in those tanks by noon. I was horrified to find the fishes looking nearly dead... tsk. I hope the boys will be very committed in cleaning the tanks.. it's not exactly a fun job, especially when you have to get down to the dirts and clean up shit literally. Made by fishes, no less. Those fishes had better serve us well and grow up big and strong be it adult or baby fishes, they have free labour like me working on them.
okay, so before I puke, I'd like to say sorry for this really stupid, non-sensical post, but actually, i'm not feeling really sorry about it.. hahahahs...
okay, so i'm going to puke, then i'm going to study. or maybe i won't puke.. hahs.. i have 6 reports to do and pass up..
ti rhwaotae iynomu.
ti rhwaotae iynomu.
decipher that. it should be easy enough... ian, no telling to ANYONE about the answer.. let them guess.. ;)
hmmm.. this entry will be weird. This is stuff that's going on in my head right now:
decipher. what? decipher myself. what wrong came along?
sleep. not tonight. it's been 4 nights that i've been to bed over 3.. will tonight be another one?
i'd like a car. manual one. which of? rx-8? a regular 5-speed manual should be ok. but it'll be fun with a 4-speed auto-manual changable. 6-speed not for singapore roads. maybe in the other bigger countries. 42km in length for a country is too little a space. picanto? small not fast. *mental sigh* i want toyota scion tC, or that xA.. but they're limited editions.. and fucking nice ones too.. i really like those two cars... hyundai coupe? hmmm.. nice one. i love coupes...
but i want to find a compact. a nice little compact.... i wouldn't mind a suzuki cappucino. i love that one.
don't be sad. cheer up soon bro.
hmmmm....
money, i need it. where to get it? that pdl is about expire. fast. i need to learn driving fast. spend lesser time and money at the driving school. more on the future car. i need the car. can't rely on that bastard brother...
hahas.. see.. so messy my thoughts...
ughs.. can't take it.. i wanna sleep...
hmmm....
lately, i have been feeling anti-social.. just over the last couple of days...
it's requiring me great efforts not to just stalk off in the middle of someone's conversation towards me, or the class and the cliques... really great efforts...
today, after returning home from the mall, i just shut myself out from everyone else.. meh~.. maybe i can't take the socialising the last few days... or perhaps, the sacarsm i see in others. I just don't get their stupid remarks which were meant as out frontal sacarsm. Such mockery, ah well...
Anyway, met up with deb and ninah (and the horrible bf). he was in a total mess when we met him. he didn't know whether to stand up or continue sitting down. he merely stood up in the end, looking lost (so ninah), and having this serious but flustered look on his face "um...oh, hello..." and he promptly sat back down.
They left a little later to get a drink from the supermart at the basement.. We met ninah up in the library a little while later.. Debra and i were having kimchee soup and honey milk tea for lunch. eh, second lunch, actually. we were both hungry larh..
So yeah, we just asked her straight forth.. surprisingly, she's got a clear mind on such topics... which I am SO reliefed about. We both spent the whole of last night worrying about how to go about telling ninah that we looked through her sms-es....
what a relief when she told us stuff we didn't even expect her to say!
=) well, that really takes one thing off my mind....
anyway, met mom at the book fair outside the mall.. then deb went back home to do a report... yeps.. i bought 3 books... well, we had a total of 10 books, and it was supposed to cost us over $50... but we had an 80% discount....
so ended up paying only $11.80.. what a deal!
I was really happy with that really cool cookbook that I got.. it teaches you EVERYTHING gormet.
so yeah, that was how my day went. Pretty boring really.. I should put in more heart and effort to my books instead of thinking how to pass my final theory driving test.. and about the thought on getting my own car...
I told dad i want just a used manual car... i'd pay for the gas, that's for sure.. and it'll be for my own usage.. coz i don't wanna rely on idiots who rush me through my meals and tell me that he's not going out just 2 minutes later..
hmmmm... well, i'm logging off now. I have a pile of cell tech .wma's to watch.. and theories to write...
doing reports are like writing mini thesis-es... they're awfully boring, holds a heck of information... but no one besides the extremists read them.
I like nobel prize winners. just by writing 2-3 words, and adding in a few arrows here and there, allows them to be famed and recognised. only coz what they say makes sense.
If I told you,
human = soul + living cells + crazy idiot
haha.. it obvious you won't take me seriously, but.... just go think about it.
whah.... soooo true siah....
For some reason, I happen to by pass this birthdate counting thing.. accessed to this site...
and found out something really devastatingly true about myself.. hahs...
I'm a Life Path 5 person... so it says of my birthdate.
A Life Path 5 person is usually very versatile, adventurous, and progressive. With a 5 life path, you are one of those people who is always striving to find answers to the many questions that life poses. You want to be totally unrestrained, as this is the sign of freedom and independence. You abhor routine and boring work, and you are not very good at staying with everyday tasks that must be finished on time. You are, however, a good communicator, and you know how to motivate people around you, perhaps inclining you to be a teacher of some sort. A love of adventure may dominate your life. This may take the form of mental or physical manifestation, but in either case, you thrill to the chance for exploration and blazing new trails. You are apt to be multi-talented, but just as likely to suffer from some lack of direction, and there is often some confusion surrounding your ambition.
On the average, the number 5 personality is rather happy-go-lucky; living for today, and not worrying too much about tomorrow. It is important for you to mix with people of a like mind, and try to avoid those that are too serious and demanding. It is also important for you to find a job that provides thought-provoking tasks rather than routine and redundant responsibilities. You do best dealing with people, but the important thing is that you have the freedom to express yourself at all times. You have an innate ability to think through complex matters and analyze them quickly, but then be off to something new.
In the most negative application or use of the 5 energies, you could become very irresponsible in tasks and decisions concerning your home and business life. The total pursuit of sensation and adventure can result in your becoming self-indulgent and totally unaware of the feelings of those around you. In the worse case situations negative 5's are very undependable and self-serving.
Anyway, look up "Michael McClain" on the web search if you wanna know more about all that.. hahs..
I stayed over at deb's place last night.. as in friday night.. to watch movies.. it was a totally last minute thing. I wanna go mod the xbox.. and then we can watch dvd's, vcd's and pirated song cds on it!! =)
well, anyway, today was rica's b-day party.... since i've met rica's family before, mixing around them wasn't a big deal.. hahs.. deb's mixed around with them too...
oh yeah, hahaha... rica was all splattered in chocolate just now! hahahs.. so fun!
but she DIRTIED MY WHITE SHIRT!! ass her...
debra had a fair share.....
we had a really good time. Maybe I was being cynical about rica the moment we stepped into her place.. but she still hung out with us after that and yeah... i'm sorry to say so many harsh things about her... i just hate to see her so... well, materialistic. I'd rather have that down-to-earth, realistic rica i used to know who'd crap like heck freaking cares with debra and i..
=) mannn... those were THE days. i just love after-exam periods. vacations then were so boring. so care-free...
anyway, debra and i found some really shocking stuff about ninah... well, not about ninah directly. but rather, of her boyfriend. we had neutral feelings about him at first, but after tonight, my perspective of him has changed drastically. and negatively. i'm not easily impressed, that's for sure.. i'd chided debra many times over her choice of boys, really.. hahas.. right, bra?
i suppose they could say the same of me...! hahahs.. but I think i'll be more focused on my studies to be as free as deb, going round flirting with any guy who's remotely 'nice' to her... whahahahhahas.... ok lah.. i didn't mean to be so mean.. :P
ughs.. i'm exhausted... well, i should head to bed....
aights, nights peeps...
P.S: this is so freaking cool.. i soooooo wanna try this out!!!
sara!! check it out girl!!!
let me show you....
let me show you the prowress of Jay Zhou!!!
whahahahahas!!! just the english translations first.. i'm not that power with this laptop.. hahas...
反方向的鐘 |Counter Clockwise
Music: Jay Chou
Lyrics: Vincent Fang
Translation: Jo - www.jay-chou.net
From the deluded dreams you gave
Cracks appeared and pain arose
How could I bring it across to you, when you had no time?
You said I would never understand and there was no point in saying anything
Is his smile any different?
In your heart, I'm no longer adored
Be it the rain, wind or rainbow in my sky
You are the one in control
I hate myself sometimes, for my inability to control my emotions
An agonizing heart still goes on
Still touched by your apology just before we parted
The clock which transcends through the passage of time
Starts moving in the opposite (counter-clockwise) direction
Back to the time dimension when I first loved you, it came to a standstill.
All of our memories came back to haunt me
You unsealed my wounds
Too many promises made me lose control as my tears continued to run
(RAP~ *in chinese*)
The neon lights in the city danced uneasily and stained the evening sky red
All of the past is a dream that I can't bear to touch
A dream that brings pain when I think of it, with heart-shattering contents
Every second of time is unique
You were unaware, yet the farewell I wanted from you
You had reasons for not saying it
The smoke from the ruins stopped circulating in the cold air
I lost all hope amidst the crowd
Blindly following the dreams of others
I gave it all up, despising my incompetence
Healing my wounds to curb the pain was futile
When there are no dreams, pain has no magnitude
My tears are red; they flow endlessly
okay, that's just lame, in a way that it's been a long while since I even bothered cutting and pasting lyrics into my blog..! hahas..
well, today had been a really horrendous day, i'd have to say...
Primarily speaking, it started during HBD lecture. I mean, HBD lecture today was so enjoyable! hahas.. dr chooi is one really wacky fella, that's for sure....
well, gary called, saying he's tired and dad'll be picking me up. But dad's been driving the whole day, so I thought i'd let him rest, so I told gary i'll come home myself.
Then during dinner, I was forced to down the remaining 3/4 of my dinner in a matter of 2 minutes, coz gary told me he's taking the car coz he's going out and he told me he'll give me a lift to debra's place after i'm done. "Be quick
hor!!" like okay, so I finished my dinner in 2 minutes flat and ran back to my room to get my stuff..
Then that jackass comes to my room and tells me, "Oh, i'm not going out anymore. You gotta make your own way down. I'm staying home to play on the xbox. hee.. i know, i'm such a bastard."
You got it right, you damned bloody fucking bastardic moron of a brother! I don't care if YOUR girlfriend doesn't feel like going out. You freaking tell ME to choke down my dinner in 2 minutes, rush me through packing my stuff, only to tell me YOU'RE FUCKING NOT GOING OUT?!?!?!? like what the FUCK!?! go eat your own cum or something! his freaking ass needs to get raped, I think.
Obviously I got pissed off at him. And whilst I was thinking all that, I merely bit his head off while snapping at him to just eff off and go play his damned fucking games on his stupid xbox. Apparently lil' sis here isn't as important as his games nor his girlfriends.
Although he did end up going "WHERE LAH!! I GO SEND YOU NOWWWW!!!" ass..
want to play game then play your stupid games lah. dun come and change your mind on me so many bloody times lah! ass hole! humph!
ugh!
I feel so bloody miserable.... the meds just make me feel so numbed out...
it requires SOOOO much effort just to sit through those TWO lectures, just THREE hours... I have to open my eyes, listen and write at the same time... so tiring you know... so I gave up doing that.. just leaving it to sleeping and listening to what the teachers were rambling on about. Suprisingly, I can absorb what they said, occassionally even picking up my pencil to jot down a few notes...
Soooooo... okay... i just slept for 3 hours... hahahs...
and I just finished dinner... sooooo yeah...
okay, i have no idea what to blog today....
besides telling you I had a difficult time trying to pry my eyes open during lectures today.... oh yeah, I skipped ABC prac...
didn't feed the adult fishes in the evening.. I hope yissue does help me on that. I feel so bad. two weeks not feeding those fishes.
and then....
well... okay.. i think i came home.. and slept till 6pm after lunch.. lol
that's all i shall blog for today!
*sniffs*
whahahs... i'm sick! after like.. i don't know how freaking long!
Anyway, not gonna blog much today as I have to complete my inorg chem report.. and then MBT.. and go study... while on drugs that make me drowwwwwsy... X.x
pengz....
okay, i'm outta here..
feeling kinda crazy already siah...
mindsets and concepts
many times, I find myself failing to see the bigger picture.
It's really hard, especially when you have your hands full of things to do, and books that rise up to your waist that makes it hard for you to move forward.. it's really hard, especially when your mind is blocked and you can't think right.. you try to think left too, but that doesn't exactly help much as both sides are blocked too..
It's really hard, especially when you know you have to face this delimma alone. Friends and family can advice you, but ultimately, I know, it is only me, who can bring about that changed mindset about everything else that made me confused in the first place.
on another note, I went for golf today.
170 on the 5 wood. I failed to hit my target once again.
The lost thoughts of the meme's...
It's been AGES since I've done these TRIOS of meme's...
soooo... here we go!
Unconscious MutteringsStatistics:: i hate it
Grin:: =D
Saturn:: the planet!
Fulfilled:: my wish.. well, i'm only hoping!
Life plan:: um.... get a job?
Cult:: no no.. that's bad
Lily:: tulips?
Stalemate:: a mate who's stale?
Celebration:: ceeeelebrate c'mon, tonight!
Underwear:: lingerie.. *laughs*
Thursday Threesome::"I'll be your shoulder when you cry"::Onesome - I'll beWhat did you want to grow up to be when you were a child? If you aren't fulfilling your childhood dream, what made you change it?I wanted to become a teacher.. or a scientist.. or a doctor.. or a laywer.. a race car driver... a professional golfer.. a dancer.. an artist... so many things I wanted to do, so I tried to be smart and try everything out! haha..right now, i'm a scientist, I teach little kids things whenever I have the time, I'm still aspiring to be a doctor, I fight for my own rights, I play burnout 3 (race car game) on the x-box, i used to and will be picking up golf again, i danced when i was 11 and i painted when i was 16... I've done everything in my life that I wanted to do when I was a child!
Twosome - Your shoulderWho's your confidant? Who do you run to when you need emotional support?my confidant... is probably everyone.. lol.. if you ask well enough, you'll get bits and pieces of information of the things I tell to people.. and you'll get the whole picture soon enough, but usually, I just tell debra.. saves me time. Emo support? my cat. she's the best! she just looks at me and she'll just do cute little things to cheer me up..
Threesome - When you cryWhat makes you cry? The scent of flowers? Allergies? Or are you just super-sensitive to that sad song you always seem to hear on the radio lately? Dust makes me tear... hmmmm... sad songs.. if they're sad enough (and I mean heart-breakingly sad)... but other than that.. i don't usually cry.. maybe when i'm having a major breakdown, you'll be lucky to catch me crying.
Friday's FeastingAppetizerWhere do you plan to go on vacation this year, or where would you want to go?i wanna go to thailand... or japan... but yeah, it's mostly impossible to, coz I've went on holidays last year already..
SoupWhat color is your bedroom? If you could redecorate it, what would you change?it's white. I'd change EVERYTHING.
SaladDo you have a bumper sticker on your vehicle? What does it say?I don't even have a car, but if I did, and if I had a bumper sticker, it'll say "Look out behind you, i'll honk and you swerve."
Main CourseWhat's the worst pain you've ever been in?menstrual pain. nothing beats it. not even a bad break up. =P
DessertWho is your favorite celebrity? What do they do that inspires you?my favourite celebrity? Edison chen, prolly... he doesn't inspire me.. he's just too good looking. ;)
it's 772 posts already!!
hahas.. this is the 772nd post I've typed in this blog...!
how simply splendid!
Anyway, since amanda wants me to type in a blog entry, I must, for she will nag like my mom if I don't....
(and my mom warns me not to blog too much online at that!)
SOooooo.. yeps!! hahas.. here I am, blogging.. Hopefully the election results are what I wish for... well, half of me wishes that I'll be elected president, the other half hopes that I'll have a lesser role to play the upcoming year so that I can kick back from school club and concentrate on studying more the next 1.5 years left in school.
Or maybe I should just find someway to plan my time more wisely..
Anyway, yeah.. Yesterday, I accompanied 2 very black-faced, bad mooded girls. One includes amanda. And the other is my best friend, debra.. tsk. I was horribly bullied yesterday... But nevermind, I shall have my revenge soon!
;)
They shall both 'die' a horri-gi-ble 'death' from me soon.. Haven't got any ideas, but soooooon.. yes, yes.. SOOOOON....
hahs..
okok, well, i want to go play burnout 3...
blog tmr lah..
hahah..
bye!
ARRGGHHHH!!!!!it's just one of those moments where you...
momentarily loose your sanity.
and hence, transform into this awful screaming, hair-ripping, high bp, annoying spoilt brat.
yes, it's just one of those moments. Again.
ARGH!!!!!!!!!thank you, and good night.
11.5 chapters to go. I have NO motivation to study tonight.
I like apple and raspberry jam mixed
It's delish man... you guys should try it!!!
SCL elections is on... remember to vote for me....!!! =)
apparently the year 3's didn't really vote for me.. suckers lah they all..
they go organise their own dinner and dance this year! HMPH! (The consequence for NOT voting for me, peisuan or genesis) You don't vote for me, thy shalt suffer thee dire gifts of
PUNISHMENT!!!! *evil AND bitter laugh*
argh.. crap lah. you know i'm just going mad.. hahas.. yarh yarh.. i can practically hear 'manda and the gang over in JHU going "whah lau... angel went insane again..."
Anyway, school and EVERYTHING is just driving me nuts..
I haven't planned ANYTHING yet. and like, ughs. tomorrow is anatomy & physiology test... and I haven't STUDIED. can DIE.
Hopefully it's something jeremy kor has yakked to me about previously.
I think it is.. hahas.. nvm...
when I meet up with jeremy kor, he's prolly gonna skin me alive... hahahs.. for not studying...
well, off i go then!
so busy.....
I really hate it when I'm given stuff that occurs so quickly, so suddenly...
so bloody last minute!
-----------------------------------------------------
Have a test this friday, 12 chapters, I heard... but it's 4 topics...
then, saturday having Super Pitch with steven at anderson sec... no, no one's invited, so don't come. i mean it.
What else.. next wednesday got SU camp briefing...
30 - 31st July got SU camp... (somewhat like an inauguration camp.. more like get-to-know-the-n00bs more like it..)
what else? Zebrafish.
ughs. have to go plan for linda on what to do...
seriously? I only asked linda to help me... and weijie and marcus are to just clean the tanks.. the dirty job, but ms eunice wanted guys to do it..
OH SHIT. I FORGOT TO FEED THE FISH. yissue will be killing me tmr.
DIE.
haiz.. see lah.. stupid. shit shit shit.
anyway, still have to plan for linda laters... i hope i can plan it by tonight
then tmr or friday i can tell them what to do.. coz i'm so freaking busy this week, I haven't got time to sleep or eat... or shit.. for that matter of fact...
urgh!! okok, i'm outta here.. I hope I don't fail HBD on friday....
P.S.: btw, London's getting Olympics 2012...! Gooooooo london! =D Ralph's gonna have a whale!
i just wanna la la!!!
lalalalalalalalalalala...
yeah yeah, mmm.. okay...
so MAAAAAY BE... on some days, I do question my own sanity, or rather, lack thereof... yes yes, I know, talking to oneself may seem stupid, and rather crazy, but, hey c'mon, admit IT alright, you talk to yourself too. ESPECIALLY when you THINK no one's looking or observing or listening in on you.
Not that I really care if anyone eavesdrop on my own self-inflicted.. um.. conversation... yeah.
*grins*dumb? well, I'm currently typing to myself, therefore, you're reading in on my thoughts, aka my words, aka.... my conversation. Whether I'm reading it out loud or not, well... really, that's a different matter all the same.. hahas..
Alright, I think i'm going mad.. someone save me!!! >__<
(yeah, as if anyone will save me liddat. ha! fat hope right?)
Class today was a total bore. As usual. oh, well, it WAS okay, besides for the fact that I was an hour late for school... heh. Zebrafish, also a bigger bore... I hate doing this whole zebrafish rearing thing. Yet, I have to psycho myself into "Luuuuurve the fish, knoooooow the fish... beeeee the fish... luuuuuuuurve the fish, knoooooooooow the fish.... beeeeee the fish..... luuuuuuuurve the fish, knooooooow the fish, argh! ---" fuck it. I don't wanna "BEEEEEEE a fish" for goodness's sake. Heaven knows if I can even swim 300m now! stupid.
I'm angry, frustrated, and most of all, burnt out. How long more are they gonna torture me? =(
so bloody annoying.
Oh right, about today.
Well, after classes, I had to go for briefing... for tmr's sports seminar..
I've been told to keep mum about who the big shots will be turning up in school.. not till a day after the seminar am I supposed to reveal in all "adoration of whomever your idol that comes to this campus!" about it.
*rolly eyes*suckers.
mood spoilers.
shit them.
Must be the pms.. can't blame me now, it's the hormones which are making me cranky. (yeah yeah, I AM one of them annoying females who blame it on the hormones.)
Anyway, after briefing, I went down to town to meet the besties.. since they insisted so much that I should go down to spend some 2 hours with them.
anyway, ate at BK's and went home...
and that's that... amanda, I'll prolly meet you on friday.
and jeremy.. well.... dunno if can meet him on wed night not.. haiz...
we'll see.. saturday having super pitch...
shit... steven's gonna like... kill me? =S this sucks.
blah blah BLAH.
y'know.. i really oughta be sleeping, but yeah.. what the heck.
ummmm... event's over.. (finally)
and now I still have a freak shit load more of stuff to do...
You'd prolly figure out by now I blog only to vent.. be it a good way or bad, I don't suppose it's very good venting on a
blog.. (yea, i just had to emphasise on it) it seems all too pathetic... but what the heck. If it doesn't work for you, it works out just fine for me....
not that I wanna get defensive over what I type out..
but if you don't like what you read, move on... get lost... shit it out or summat, aights?
lol...
well, event.. was.... hmm.. subtly okay.. I'd thought I'd see more people coming... but nope. the night part of the event sucked horribly. By 10.40pm, the streets were TOTALLY empty, save for 4 people dancing to the club beats.. that's at somerset road.. Ian (the DJ) and gang had a better number of audience, but not that great a pack either.. just a bunch of skaters who were skating and enjoying their time with ian's stuff.. it was good music too actually.. I liked it better than the DJ's from ChinaBlack and coco latte.. (maybe coz I was influenced by gary to enjoy techno beats -note: it's techno, not ahbeng techno. just techno.)- =)
Enjoy it, I truly did! I think I'll go stalk Ian and gang down and patronise their stuff... hahas..
hmmmm....
oh right, the day part of the urban infest...
right.
hmmmm.. special olympics was good.. =)
I'm proud of them coz they're so auto-pilot.. the kids have done this prolly a few hundred times and they LOVE publicity.
I made friends with this really cute autistic boy called Alex...
He reminded me strongly of
David (Haley Joel Osment) in Artificial Intelligence for his determination for attention and love for his mom. And the fascination at things..
He's so easily pleased too! hahas...
Anyway, the inline bladers... they're freestylers.. and I was wondering why the hell some of them looked soooo bloody familiar....
and it was till late afternoon only did I realise that one of them were gillian's good friends (actually, my friend too lah)... and well, the rest is history! haha.. all of us actually knew of each other. Just that we didn't know each other's names.. but hell they knew my name and I didn't know theirs..! sheesh! only remembered alloy... we call him ah-loy.. (no diff in pronounciation)
The performances on stage was good, but the SMU R.E.A.L people were sorrowfully left unappreciated and they were seriously ignored by everyone..... I bet they were pissed off at us....
I feel kinda bad.. but they really did really good stuff up on stage there.. I wanted to go up to the stage to give them a really nice applause and talk to them, but dr balakrishnan was at special olympics booth, so I can't do anything.
Hmmmmm... OHHHH... I tried out that Segway Human Transporter thing!!! The one where that american president.. George Bush fell off it!!! hahas!!! Well, I most CERTAINLY didn't fall off it.. instead, it nearly cost my life! That damn thing can go down hill but it won't go UP hill if it's over 25 degrees above flat grounds.. dumb right?
The thing just zipped back down hill and I nearly got rolled over it... sheesh!
Oh, and the V-cruiser.. hahs.. that one was SUPERB!!! it's like riding a bike, only you're not on one.. you're standing and not pedalling...
somewhat like a mini-scooter, only better. =)
I won a t-shirt, but got another one free.. ahhas...
scubapunk.. that's the brand!
nice designs too! =)
hmmmmmm... what else??
oh, RIGHT! how can i miss out?
Kaiway, damien, eddy and gang came down to urban infest!!! hahas... twice in the afternoon and once at night! Thank you so much, guys! ;)
another thing... serica.. best lor.. she actually gave my event a
MISS. And deb was in the event as well... and that rica.. jolly well MISSED it. just SO perfect you know? even GILLIAN came for it.. and visited us soooo often... tsk.. can't believe she actually missed the event, that girl.. hmph! no comments any further man.
Oh, and Mom and aunt alice came down... kenneth and serene came too.. so cool...!
amanda came too.. oh, sujith came too.. thanks everyone! =)
I made friends with the chalk drawer! hahahs... but I forgot his name.. he's so funny, that fella... but he can really draw very well! =)
what else.... hmmm... actually, nothing much lah...
I'm tired.. finally, when I thought I can rest abit....
i'm too tired to do anything else.... so I spent today slacking.. and sleeping..
so now,I'm heading back to sleep...
night!
SHIAT...
okay, less than 24 hours, and i'm still at home.
I'm supposed to be in the bath getting my shower and like heading back out to Somerset road.
Tmr's the event.... I'm so bloody freaking out already.
Although not so much as Mervin and Michelle and Hweebin.. haha.. coz this is their first big gig...
I'm so used to doing events... but more like they wanted to take charge.. so yeaps..
hahas.. tomorrow i'll be running back and forth Bocce and Flying fox.. so if you wanna find me, that's where you can find me.
arrrghhhh! shit.
okok.. i'm freaking outta here.
geez.
bye!
I feel like dying now....
I haven't done my MBT.. I have not a clue to what to put in.. sick lor...
and the event's tomorrow.
I'm only getting freaking frustrated at EVERYTHING coz NOTHING is working out to plan for me...
ugh.
okay, whatever.
just take it that i'm freaking out coz my event's just TOMORROW.
and I feel really bad for making michelle for doing everything... why doesn't anyone asks me to do anything at all?
this is sick, okay? just so bloody sick.
I'm so sick and tired of everything.
ricebowljournals