2005-10-31

holy....

haha.. holy shh-mokes!
well, we had meeting just now.. hmmm...
lasted us from 8pm till about 10.45pm?

i love making decisions..
hahaha...

gosh. which reminds me.
the GEO council thing.
i hope gen has been doing up the tower for me... *frowns in worry*
well, i don't know what SCL or rather we're gonna be doing for nuts man..
all i know is that i'll be wanting to do up that nature conservation shit as fast as possible..
do a general write up..
shucks.. well, i'll get to it right after this.


hmmm......
oh yeah.. i gotta go update the ycm blog later too..
it needs some urgent updates.


soooo yeah, right.
uhmmmm... okay, well, i think besides that... i had lots of fun crapping at meeting besides the seriousness...
hahaha.. that was due to the influence of being sick.


tsk tsk, amanda amanda...
you're not living on floor zippin' number 31..
you're down at the 4th floor.
say it with me now, deary..
See-Low.... slow.

4th floor, got it?


"the angels in heaven are praying for god's almighty wonders to cast a miracle on amanda so that she can have better pentium processors for that poor downgraded brain of her's."


(sorry girl, i just HAD to.. i'm sick lah. i crap too much whenever i'm sick.)
*mega grin*



oh... happy daaaay....!



sheesh.

alrighty.
list of things for angeline to do by 4am:
1) take medicine (after this)
2) update ycm blog
3) update ycm forums
4) read up the sites the exco has researched for me
5) do up general write up of nature conservation
6) if i'm still alive and blinking, complete the protocol for dr donny.


cheerios and toodles....
=)


oh yeah...

HAPPY HALLOWEENS!!!!!

2005-10-30

omg. so icky.

first, the vertigo bouts...
now a super flu bug.
wooooooooow.


good going on me, doodes.



hahahha..
okay, so before I REALLY get knocked out by the medications, angeline has decided that not blogging for one entire day is just simply too....

nerve-wrecking.


blah.



haha... um, okay, i think i should be back in my warm warm comfy confines of my bed.
i think some sleep would do good.


so yes, you guys go have some fun..
i shall sleep. =P



this entry doesn't make sense to me, but if it does to you..
cheers, you've got a madly insane mind.
;P



cheerios and toodles...

2005-10-29

oiemifriggingawdfuliciously wow!

omfg wow.....
=D i have this new found excitement i just contain within me!!!
i have to tell serica and debra all about it! =)


oooh, this is just great...!

2005-10-28

oopsies?

hahhaha.. ya mel, i just remembered...
like 2 seconds after i tagged at your guest book...
that you HAD my link, if not you wouldn't know how to tag at my blog!
XD

oh well...



ummm.... so i TRIED to rest. yes, TRIED to..
and obviously it failed..
not that it matters now. Actually, it does..
will i get better by tomorrow?
hmmmmm... good question.


whahahahaha.....

steven asked if i'd like to go for a ski trip in korea this coming december, or something like that....
haha.. i'd have loved to go, but i didn't save up for a $1.5K trip to korea.
hell, I don't even know how to ski!
I think i'd set off an avalanche while coming down the mountain, then go skiing off a stuck-in-the-air cliff and end up smashing into a pine tree.

no, no.
i think i'd stay right here in sunny singapore, thanks.



I think I'm gonna get another vertigo bout again, at the rate my eyes keep rolling back by themselves.
It's driving me insanely frustrated and oh-so-irritated.
i hardly touched dinner. with good reason too...
i'd just puke again..
hahaha.. that'll be a sight man.. i had prawns tonight. and pork, and some vegs..


Oh, I just found something out.
Terra likes oats.



nice.





i shall feed her oats till she fears it with a vegenance. muahahahhahahaha!
anyway, okay, i think my eyes are rolling back a tad bit too much.
sujith, if you're online, do sms me about it..
so that we can continue our little gossip session. yes yes.. hahaha..

oh, my bad!

hahaha.. sorry sujith doode...
it's 110 more posts till I hit that 1000-post mark.
wunderbar!
or however that was spelt in german. hahaha...

anyway... running a fever now.
i must've talked too much to debra the other day that she passed some of it to me.
siiiiick.
ah well.

I hope I can go for that sleepover tomorrow.
hopefully so. sheesh.


So yeah, took like two panadol pills, drank like this glorious life-saving cup of coffee, ate some delectable snacks..
hahahaha.. splendid, splendid.

oh man....
that tower still isn't ready.
only left a few more days to it.
I haven't passed up the damn form. yeah.
shit-assed.
Come to think of it, I don't know where I chucked the form... XD
i'm sooooo screwed.
ian, don't kill me. Although I have an inkling all you'd do was to sigh and go "sigh. WHAAAAT?!?!?!"
then yeah. the dots come string out with the "z's"
hahahahahaha...


okay okay, pure rubbish on my part.
my brain's being fried as we read. ;)
oh, what a joy, ain't it?


sacarsm, my dears... sacarsm; if you didn't already know.




alrighty, i shall resume to stoning and chatting with JM, sujith and sherwin..
though i think sherwin's more hooked to watching his dvd at the moment... whahahaha...
JM thinks i have... whatsitcalled.. oh right, otitis interna or something like that... man... he comes up with all the cheem cheem things that I don't even know of..
and sujith... well, we're having some chat about guys and stuff.. lol.




oh man, i feel so godamn awful.
ughs.



okay, i think i shall go rest now.

2005-10-27

vertigooooo.

vertigo, vertigo, vertigo.... wheeeee....! ugh. icky icky thing.
yuck.
i hate having vertigo bouts.
sooooo hate them.


so, what happens when you're having a vertigo bout?
JM told me it's quite idiopathic explaining it to me.
pffffft. for med students, you guys should know what JM means by idiopathic right?
it'll take only an idiot not to understand that term.

anyway, yeah...
what happens when you're having a vertigo bout?
you feel like you're soooo fucking drunk: you can't walk straight and your head spins like the DJ's turn tables, only worse. oh, and minus the high factor.

hahaha.. yep, that's vertigo for ya.


anyway, with all that major vertigo bout last night...
I puked all of dunch out (erm, lunch and dinner) and yeah..
it looked like Gorilla's Snot in that toilet bowl.
Gorilla's Snot is actually a shooter drink. Or shot, if you'd rather like it.

sooooo yeah.

haha.. had so much fun chatting with sherwin. he was showing me those glorious pictures of this SIA plane, but I was more captivated by this HUGE picture of the SIA plane in this New York air port, Newark or something like that..
yeah..
sludge all over the place, but dammit, that picture looked damn impressive!


anyway..
yah. woke up this morning with my head spinning like a top again...
but it wasn't as bad as last night's bout.
I could walk without trying to grab hold on to the nearest stable object before my legs just got all flustered..

sooooo... what am i gonna do today?
nothing.. nothing.. nothing.. hahhaa...
I shall just go clear out my room and my work station just in preparation for next semester..
which starts in a week after next. 2 weeks.
yuck. icky.



blah blah blah.
oh mannnn........
this is like absolutely smashing. nothing to do.
i'm a happy rotter alright. =)
come november, so many things to do.
I've gotta get the exco to get that soccer thing done.
and as well as the logo design competition...
then i can kick back and relax for a week or two before i up and at it for that dinner and dance thing.
plus, a new year's gathering function or something...
or maybe i should combine dinner and dance, christmas and new year's gathering altogether, one shot kill 3 birds. (yeah, it's a shot now, ain't stones. stones are SO primate.)

and then when feburary comes along, it'll be CNY, and orientation.
YES! orientation!
I'm sooooo gonna do that inaugural drink!
those n00bs are just gonna suffer for their drink.
so will the OGLs, the teachers, and the emcee...
and prolly me. haha!
i'm gonna out do kenny boey.
i swear i will! =) a rubbishified drink for sure!


okay, i just remembered, I gotta go stalk someone for their signature and some receipts.


so mah fun.
ah well. life of a grant maker... it sucks, but yeah.
i still love it.
i should make a living out of it.
or maybe I should make a living out of copy writing. hahahaha...
oh well.. we'll see about that!



cheerios and toodles...

2005-10-25

marcus is one funny-arsed idiot...

=) kudos to marcus for trying to make me laugh..
he sure did so! haha!!
he wrote this story for his HSC extension english paper..


let me take an excerpt out for you to read:

"Death was crawling on all fours, sifting frantically through the dirt.

"Where is it? Where is it?"

He had knocked off his finger when he accidentally banged his hand into a tree stump, and the rogue bone had landed somewhere in the vicinity.
He was so preoccupied in trying to find his finger that he didn't hear the running footsteps, and Olaf was himself so preoccupied looking behind him he didn't notice the figure crouching in his path.

A moment later, Olaf was lying on the ground, groaning. Death was rubbing his back gingerly.

"Who the hell are you?" he asked the boy.

"Olaf," said the boy dizzily, his stomach still burning. Furthermore, he had landed hard and something was painfully sticking into his back. He reached around behind him with his hand and came up with a dismembered finger-bone.

"Oh! There it is! That's my-"

Olaf yelped with surprise once his mind registered what the object was, and he cast the bone away into the bushes.

"-finger..." his voice trailed off with an audible groan.

"Oh, I'm sorry-" Olaf began, but then he happened to look up into the face of the figure, and yelped once more.

It was bad enough seeing a walking skeleton in a big black robe, but it was much worse when said skeleton was holding a very, very big scythe, and you had just carelessly thrown away said skeleton's finger.


There was an uncomfortable silence.

Death stared at him.

"You wouldn't happen to be Death, would you?"

"How many other walking skeletons do you know?"

"Well there was Crazy Old Wilson, he was basically a walking skeleton-"

"Did he have a big shiny scythe?"

"Well... no... it was rather on the small side-"

"Then it's not the same. Say..." Death stared at him critically, "You have nice fingers..."

"Err... you wouldn't like them, they get all tangled up in things and umm... they're... broken,” he said lamely.

"They don't look broken to me,"

"Oh yes, tragically broken, can't even move them! Totally useless. Uhh, you going to kill me?"

"I don't kill people, my job takes place after they are killed. Duh."

"You turn up at every single death?"

"No, I only have to appear at special occasions such as these" he waved a bony four-fingered hand in the direction of the village, and began to wander off."




=D classic, just so classic. haha!




anyway, timetable's out.
i don't reckon i like it, but i'm okay with it...
hahas....

alrighty... gotta go now!

2005-10-24

Hello Lonely...

haha... I've been hooked to Indigo Prophecy's signed on band, Theory of A Deadman.
Thanks to Jasrie, I have their album, Gasoline.
*grins*

"Hello lonely
Now that you're gone I can move on
Goodbye sweet thing
Just know that I've been here all along

So why're you sad?
Don't you know that
It's you that haunts my dreams and seems to always come back?

How do I live without you?
How could you walk away from this, just walk away from this again?
How do I live without you?
How could you walk away from this, just walk away from this again?"

- Hello Lonely (Walk Away From This)


The lyrics do speak out... haha... but i think I like Santa Monica a lot more. =)

"She filled my bed with gasoline,
you'd think I wouldn't notice."



it's so classic.





anyway, looks like some problems have surfaced in the family. =(
I just hate it when things don't go my way.
I do know I can't have things always going my way...
but, I don't know..
I'm just at such a lost.
I want to help my parents, but I'm at no level to do so.
I don't have the expertise to do anything.
how I just wish I had all the money in the world to keep my parents worry-free.

I just want to graduate out from school as soon as I can, get a job, and start earning some money to satisfy what's known to be the bulk of my older brother's greed for his own usage of money.

I just hate it whenever he thinks we're still rolling in the riches, with money pouring out of dad's pockets like water falling from the falls.
Point is, we don't have that luxury, and there he is, spending dad's money away.
we've gone to the extent of digging into mom's own private savings to keep afloat.
I hate him so much for doing this to our parents. i just hate it so much.

2005-10-22

hello, excuse me, i'm home.

Hello my 'dead'-ed friends (who aren't so dead afterall)..
haha.. i'm hoooooome.. not that it matters right?

anyway, genting was fun. yes yes, I have been fulfilled a wish I'd been asking for, for the past half year...
a cheap thrill on gravity defying rides, and DAMN... i got those alright.
hahahaha..
went on the cockscrew.. it's actually one of those super cool roller coaster rides where you're put through at least 4 cockscrewing turns, many flips and stuff like that on that ride... it was WICKED. $5 a ride. as in 5SGD anyway...

The lil' brother and I went on to try the ride "Space Shot". It goes up to about like 120 odd feet up into the air, and then you get plunged down SO damn bloody fast, you don't know what the hell's going on. The first time we tried it, the sky was clear, then we went to walk about for a while (for us to get over the adrenaline rush) before we headed back for a second try.

haha.. He was SOOOOO freaked out when he looked up to find out that, oops! the clouds made the top of the Space Shot not visible!!!
Him: "jeje.. please, i'm BEGGING you.. let me out. i wanna quit this round. PLEASE!"
Me: "Nope. you'll be fine. just scream later."
Him: "But, pleeeeease... *tears trying to pour out from his eyes* please, je... pleeeeease.. i don't wanna do this anymore... no more... i want out, now..."
Me: "hmmm... let me think. how about, Nope? haha.. you'll be okay lah.. just ride it out and shut up already."
Him: "buuut jeeeeee...."
Me: "Shuddap. it was your idea to get on the ride a second time. okay, we're going up now....hang in there kid, you'll be fine coz i'm here.."
Him: *whimpers*
Me: "I think now's a good time to scream"

And then, we were plunged down right that instant.. haha.. the italian dude next to us was laughing before that.. haha... he ended up screaming all his lungs out as much as I screamed my throat sore just for the fun of it.

Haha!!! But, seriously, the feeling when you get plunged ALLL The way down, was NOT fun. it's like your heart's just stuck in your throat, your lungs are beat from air, the atmospheric change in the air was SO great..
that at the moment when we touched down before we were rebounded up again, you just lose all breath!


haaaaa!
anyway, the trip was great.. although there was just too cloudy, too many old people, too many kiddies, and yeah.... sheesh..
okay, i'm typing nonsense now.. haha..
let me just go get some sleep first.
i'll type more tomorrow.


This entry is just to let you know that i'm still alive, and no, i didn't get into any form of landslides, whatsoever. ;)

cheers!

2005-10-19

quickie quickie updaties!!

hahaha...
okaaaaaaay.. so like another 3 more hours before we up our asses to the bus station for the bus to bring us to good ol' malaysia!


while I know I should be happy I'm getting my arse out of the country for like just a few days, I'm quite apprehensive about it.
i mean, what could be worse than a night trip, with a sleepy driver and a bus full of sleeping people?
a mud slide?
i don't know... it's been rainy the past few days.. i'm not sure if it's been raining as heavily as it is here over in KL?
I sure hope not. I really hope not!

The last thing I need would be for the bus to tilt to one side and KER-RAAAAAASH!!! down into those hideous trees down below. (it'll have been better in the alps, at least it was white and snowy, not muddy.)


Ah, whatever.
Just me being so uber paranoid, but yah. haha!

I hope it doesn't and didn't rain in gentings.
Then I can go on those kickassed pathetic joy rides which are supposedly... roller coasters.
no, i've not sat on a REAL roller coaster that makes you puke on an empty stomach.
The rest just have no kick after 2 rides.


Anyway, today was lunch meeting.
*smirks* okay, for VARIOUS reasons, I shan't state ALOT of degretory statements in this blog. haha.
Genesis and I were having a time of our lives laughing our asses off.. hahahaha....
yah, but it involved accents (the cantonese one), mumbling bumbling bees, and um... ummmmmm.... should i say it? young guys who dress tooooooo old till they wear polo tees, SUPER SHORT shorts and ummmm... wack shoes? and that guy's supposedly from Design school.. ouch, such an insult to Jills. hahah....

haha!!
oi sujith, that was like, definition of NO DRESS SENSE #2.
haha!!!!! =) if you get what i mean, eh sujith?
anyway, gen and i had sooo much fun sniggering away during meeting, and me yawning every 5, 10 minutes.
i know i'm rude, but i just DONT care.
i was hungry, tired, and oh, um. hungry.
yes.




i ate 2 servings of everything except fruits. bleargh.





oh okay, i gotta go now.
pack my bags then i'm gonna head next door for dinner before slacking off some and then off to the bus station. ;)


won't miss you guys, though i might get withdrawal symptoms from the lack of sms-es and calls.. lol, then after a night i'll be off to the amusement park for some good lovin' fun.
wheeeeeee~~~!




"no quote today, but that's okay!
you don't read it, anyway.."

revelations.

so, here i am, it's 2.06am, and i'm sitting at the desk typing this, FREEZING from the chilly air that I get every night for the past month..
daaaaaaaaammn.
but i like love it.


oh! oh!
Revelation!
ah lians are the az'n version of a bimbo!
haha! suckers.
but I hope joycelyn doesn't turn out that way... bimbos are pure stupid.


For 3 months now, my back's been aching like shit. it's like I haven't moved in the LONGEST time ever.
I think it's high time I went back to golfing, instead of taking up those clubs only to put them back after an hour's usage, and get on with the jogging and climbing stairs. hahaha... good ol' SJC ways helped best, I think?



anyway, time to just quickly read through my proposals..
and add some quick comments before i chao and sleep.




toodles!
you guys wrap up, it's gonna be cold the next nights too..!


"Deception is the new meaning and way of life.
Fun?
So not, I think."

2005-10-18

heh heh....

well, i'm leaving tomorrow night for genting highlands for some cheap thrill (on the roller coaster rides and what nots)...
i'll be home saturday night. I think.
I have an inkling i'll prolly be back sunday morning at 2..


anyway, something i took out from some email marcus (me cuz'n) sent me today.
"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back."


eh.. what can i say to those few words?
Been there, done that.


The end.



hahaha..





so anyway, last night, after 8.30pm, I just crashed into my brother's bed and slept my evening through.
Oh right, went to meet amanda.
and watched the most boring show ever.
EVER.
never EVER EVER EVEEEER watch "April Snow".
like, oimefriggingoshlikewadthefrigginFUCK!?!?
it was SO frigging BORING.
i wept from boredom. not because the show was so touching (not).
amanda, you wasted my 7$.
that 7$ is worth 3 meals and like, 3 coffees in school.
a day's meal babe... a day's meal.

The ONLY good part about the show was that this old ah pek (yes, really old, with an aluminium-steel walking stick) stood in the CENTER of the cinema, watching the lead actress cry.
After 2 minutes of watching her do nothing, he walked out.
How i wished i did that..


anyway, time to go do some school stuff..
and then.. like, EW..
i know i love reading proposals..
but THIRTY TWO NEW PROPOSALS!?!?!?!?! what is this BECOMING man?!?!
hahahaha... 32. new. proposals. and 2 reapplied. must be that debates team.
blah. okay, time to get to work. =)

cheers!


"sotto tsubuyaita kimi no kotoba you say it
ugokidase mienai kedo michi wa hirakareteru"

2005-10-16

aww...

We didn't go ice skating today.
Even though we (meaning: michelle, isaac - mich's bro and I) braved the meowing and barking rain at Jurong East to get to the mall.
The place was packed.. and not only that, they closed in like an hour and fifteen minutes. and if we went in, we'll be forced to pay like, $8.40 for it.
That $8.40 was meant to be worthed 2 hours and nicely sharpened blades.


I insisted that it wasn't worth it at all (no, it wasn't), plus Mel wasn't there yet. I didn't wanna go in without her. Just not it lah. We planned to go to the rink coz she was DYING to get into the rink for some good bladin'.

So, we ended up watching this cute little girl in this really mini skirt trying to pull off combination of: a ballet jump, a inside left mohawk turn (at least i thought it was), and i think what was supposed to be a change foot spin.

[Eh, don't start talking figure skating to me, I just took it off their course outline and kinda just started pairing it up? hahaha... yeah.]



Then we headed out again, to brave that storm...
and bought these really cool beady bracelet thingys. =)
i'm happy at the cheap stuff i bought.
I'm hoping I'll get more stuff when I go up to KL with mom and my lil' bro this approaching Thursday.

So anyway, angeline was left utterly speechless again today at about 1.55pm.
Um... okay, i only remembered the time at which I was left speechless, I can't really remember what i was left speechless about.
I think it was about.. um.. oh right. I think it's about these 2 non-singaporean kids...
trying to climb those grab poles like they were climbing trees back in Vietnam or something. I dunno. they looked pretty much fucked up about it. haha..

So yeppers.
Next time, I'll remember what I was supposed to be speechless about, yea?


Okay, anyway, michelle, isaac and I went to city hall (we were supposed to meet mel at marina square's bowling alley, she'd been late coz she lost her wallet and was like totally lost about doing nuts. the poor girl!)
and.. oh right.. haha.. we went window shopping.
=) retail therapy is quite soothing to the heart. hahah!

Mel called when we were in that new roxy shop next to the ripcurl one. I was so tempted in getting one of those embolded surfer puff girl sticker thingys. but yeah.. we QUICKLY (yes, quickly) walked down to the bowling alley. ha!

Played 3 games, watched this really cute brazillian family play next to us.
That couple's kids were so cute looking! I wished I secretly took some pictures, then at least I could show you the little girl with the cute curly hair. Their mom was so pretty too. haha.. like some perfectly good looking family!
(eh, don't ask about the bowling. i sucked at it. i'm supposed to be good at it, since dad spent like 6 years training with a so-called pro. sheesh! he never made it out pro either anyway.)


Then, we walked and walked and walked till i grumbled "i'm hungry. you all not hungry ah?"
so yeah, haha.. we started sourcing for good places to eat, and mich suggested Carl's Junior. Gawd, you guys should go there to check it out. it's SOOOO delicious.
the healthiest fast food joint i've ever been to.
They give you like high-fibre bread (which is Oh-so-tasty and sweet!), so much lettuce, and this HUGE THICK slice of JUICY TOMATO. yummy! and they don't give you mayonaise or that sorta stuff. it's tomato ketchup.
soooooo uber yummy!
*is feeling hungry again*


okay, that's it.
once debra finishes her exams, i'm dragging her, ninah and serica there for a meal.
uncle philip and aunty jean have to go too.. okay, maybe not aunty jean. she's not up for western meals.. haha..

OOOOhhh.. i just remembered. I bumped into XiaoHui just now before stepping into Carl's jnr!!! =)
haha.. she's lookin' good! out to meet her boyfriend or something like that.. hahahaha... she told me, "yah, can count as boyfriend lah"
*shrugs* haha... well, i do hope she had a good time!

so after dinner.. we were all like too-full-till-i-can-puke and oh-so-freezing-cold, coz it just stopped raining (at like 8.30pm!) and mel and i just finished this HUGE cup of like... i dunno what. haha.. i remembered having like coke-light-with-lemon-and-lots-and-lots-of-salt, and mel had zappel i think.

we ate fries with pepper and chilli (its nice!)..

hahahaha! you should try it..


then, what else...
oh right..
we were talking about ex-es and stuff.. haha.. imaginary boyfriends. =P
i so agree, michelle. he's so imaginary indeed!!! i find a big fool in myself to be played out big time by her. blah.


anyway, we went back to that roxy shop so that i could go get those stickers...
got this foresty green sticker that boasts roxy's logo.. and this sheet of stickers with all things roxy. haha.
i shall find volcom soon.
i shall go back there tomorrow or something.. get that embolded surfer puff girl head sticker thingy.. it's just so cute.


okay, so like, we didn't pitstop over at the toilet.
and on the way home, my bladder was just gonna burst like, oimefriggin'gosh! I NEED THE FUCKING LOO NOW!
but stupid me just HAD to go sit from dhoby ghaut to harbour front and ALLLLLLL the way home to hougang. like Daaaaaaaaammit doodette!
the moment I got home, lala land in the toilet with my bladder sighing in relief.

haha! ^_^/"






geeeez.




so ends my sunday. hahs.
and mel got her wallet back with all her stuff in it! (yay!)





Random thought:
i have to go plan my nyaa journal and what i still lack and lag in the entries.
i just hate typing those residentials and comm services ones.. so frigging stoopid.


anyway... tomorrow, i'm meeting amanda..
prolly for an hour or two, then i'll head on home to get started on TWO reports to hand in by... awww.. shucks, this saturday.
have to rush through them over tomorrow till wednesday. =x

lalalalalalalalalalalalaaaaaa....
i'm so.. i dunno. haha..
hyper right now, I guess?



anyway, sleeping time.. good night! =)


"ima wo kowashite shimaitai
ima ni sugaritsuite itai
jibun no koto wa wakaranai...

nigedashitai shoudou kara
nigedasu made no koujitsu ni mayou...

ikiru koto ga tatakai nara
kachimake mo shikata ga nai koto
sonna koto kurai wakatte iru yo...

dareka no kotoba ni tsumadzu kita kunai
mado wasareta kunai...

ashita mo kitto kagayaite iru
osanaki hibi ni modoranakute ii
Tomorrow's way of my life kowagari dakedo
hikikaesenai michi ni tatteru.."

120 posts more to go....

before i hit a fully fledged 1000 posts.

120 posts!!!




i kinda lost my voice. =x
haha.. screamed too much last night, but it was well worth it. =)

anyway... yay!!! ice skating with 2 of my favourite people!!!!
mich and mel!!!! =) =) =)
mich's younger brother is coming along.. haha.. yippees!

hmmmm..... i'm still so tired..
i've been feeling so frigging tired the past few days (no inclusive of last night's adrenaline overdrive).. bleargh.


okok, i should go get ready for my outing now... haa..
but i feel like slacking abit more. hahahaha... jeez.
whatever.



toodles~! ;)

ALLLLLRRRRIIIIGGGHHHTTTT!!!!!!!!!

=)
i'm soooo happy!!!
this is SUCH a WONDERFUL belated birthday present from my best friend,
but she did it!!!
she WON a title in that peagent!!!!!
SHE DID!!!!


2ND RUNNER UP!!!!
(aka 3RD PLACE!!!!!!!)


awwwwww gurl, you're just sooooo pretty in that gown.
like WHOA, she was gorgeous!

but those sickening... bastards. kept stepping on the tail of her gown!!!
=X
i was SOOOO Pissed Off at those asses.
Stomping ALLLL OVER THAT $700 GOWN!!!!

(okay, it was supposed to be close to $1K, but yea.)






ugh.
that was so pissifying.
yes, angeline just came up with another new terminology.


anyway.
angeline was left speechless at around 7.50pm yesterday.
THE sickening... bastard. called SAM. just kept making MY best friend TRIP.
he STEPS on her gown's tail ON The Catwalk,
dances like a fucking PERVERT. YES. LITERALLY FUCKING PERVERT.
you should see the way he ups that pelvis of his.
damn fucker.
he danced like he was dancing at some stripper's club.

He outraged my best friend's modesty during that dance!!!!!
i'm like SO raging furious with that idiot!!! RETARD!!!!!!
Frigging asshole!
URGH!!

i'm left speechless only because i was HORRIFIED by his actions!
i mean like omg.
STOP being so frigging FULL of yourself, doode!
the last thing we need, is a frigging playa on that stage, who thinks he's the next best thing to naomi campbell's male counterpart!
you are SOOOO clubbing asshole.
at the clubs, you'll be rated JACKASS JERK.
trust me, you will.





i'm disgusted at his ever inflatable ego!
male chauvinist PIG.





blargh.
i'm going to sleep.





anyway, =) i'm still SO happy about debra's win.
grinning like a chesire cat, like doode! haha!

2005-10-15

oooooh lala!

Today is debra's BIG day!!
i called her up just now to check up on her.. she told me she was SO excited that she couldn't sleep till 2.30am last night.
poor girl. she's now complaining about the sleep (and lack thereof's)...
hahaha....

tonight, we shall get her something nice and warm, pack her up for home..
and yeah, get her ass into bed so that she can finally get her sleep.
come monday, she'll be back in school for her CA's.
which reminds me, she hasn't studied.

boy, is she in deep trouble man.. i hope she can squeeze in some information just enough to pass... it'll be a miracle, but miracles are what she's about! =)


anyway, today, i think i'm gonna be a little more hardworking than usual.
I'm gonna update the Profile section.
and then go proof-read where that frigging error is in the interface of this template.

i have like 5 more hours of slacking to do.
maybe if i'm motivated enough, i'll clear that clutter next to me (which really are my bags and last semester's lecture notes all piled up into a mini junkyard), and then proceed to remove the clutter on the coffee table in my room.


well, that's if i'm hardworking enough!
oops.
i just remembered.
i forgot to hand in another portion of the nyaa journal series to yingshya yesterday.
ahh.. i'll do it on monday lah.




okay, anyway, i'll go edit the Profile section.
haha...
byeeee.

2005-10-14

2 weeks

Tomorrow will mark TWO WEEKS since the death of a beloved.
yeah, we all know, my grandmother.

well, that means mom has about like another 5 weeks of being a vegetarian to go!
she's not complaining alright.

anyway, i think from now on..
When uncle jack cooks vegan dishes, he will be reminded of his parents and i'm sure he'll do better dishes from there onwards.
Uncle Jack's a chef. so yeah.


eh... i dunno.
blah. tomorrow is debra's big day in all her modelling career.
i wonder how she'd fare...
hopefully she'll do great and get the crown. ;)
she has SOOOO much slimming down to do tho.
haha.


okay, i reckon i should get some sleep.
i need some sleep.
but, i can't sleep.
even though i haven't slept in about like 11 hours?
no. not even a wink.
okay, maybe some....


oh right...
to the rest of the gang: welcome back to singapore and thanks howie and wayne, for chipping in for that present. ;) loved it loads! haha
btw, amanda told me.. is it for real, doodes? plastic surgery!!?!? hahaha... wanna be the next nick|tucker? i wish you all the best in it man...




blah. so frigging bored.
i wish wednesday could arrive just so i can go to the library to hog some books to read....
i'm in need of some scientific overload. =)

prolly.. probably... prolly...

i'll prolly drag deb to J Bar at M hotel tomorrow after mr&msITE peagent. however you spell that.


anyway..
was thinking of going back to SJC with good old mabelline. ;)
for some chatting up with mrs das and gang.
our talk with the girls are LONG overdue, right, mabel dearest?
yes, we know.. haha..



blargh. so bored.
anyway.. meeting mel on monday for some ice skating.
hah.
hopefully i still remember how to skate.


sooo yeah.
daily facials for the next few days! hahaha...
thanks to mom's nagging actually.
so she volunteered to give me daily facials (to use up the products just so she can get more)
haha.. the next thing i know, she'll put me on a frigging tofu, vegetables, soup-based diet and fruits for snacks and desserts. :'(

ah well. we'll see about that. haha..


alrighty, time to head out and clear the rooms of the mess i made for the past 3 months! haha!

2005-10-13

pictures! and some.. ahem. haha..

haha....
let's take a look at some pictures today. (well, now lah)
(:


^ the book amanda did for me. yeah, i was busy screwing up designing the cover while rotting in the lab on wednesday. haaa.


^ mom and the monster jello! =)


^ heh heh! she's gonna eat it! =D i love my mom's smile. she's just so pretty.


^ after many scoops of jello... she gave up. hah! HALF A BOWL! =P


^ my spunkin' new zenmicro. ;) we got it for $250. dirt cheap, or so they say.


^ the little bouquet of flowers I made for my grandma before they took her to the crematorium for cremation and all the rites. one of the flower heads got cut off and was hanging pitiously to the side. haha. i was amused by it, but the rest thought i was off my rocker and being stupid. haa.


^ for security reasons, my thumbprint was erased out. i think.
bottom line is, appreciate that stupid scar terra gave me. ;)


sooo, yes.
pictures given to you for your viewing pleasure. hahahahas...
hope you like those!
cheers!



and then here comes the *ahem* part.. haha!
look at what jon made me read.. haha..

Coming soon: the mp3 breast implant

Here's an appealing thought: an mp3 breast implant which will allow surgically-enhanced girls to store and play back their entire music collections from their 36DD assets.

We kid you not. According to UK tabloid the Sun - ever watchful for life-enhancing technology, especially when it's got a big jubs angle - BT Laboratories bod Ian Pearson reckons breast implants may as well do something useful if they're to be permanently installed, rather than just looking decorative.

Accordingly, he's proposed sticking an mp3 player in one dug, and a storage chip in the other. Quite how playback is achieved we're not quite sure*, but it may well involve the listener burying his or her head in the cleavage for a full stereo effect.

Likewise, God alone knows how you select tracks, but breasts do come equipped with a pleasing alternative to the iPod's selector wheel. We can imagine the scenario:
Girlfriend: "Oi, what the bloody hell are you doing?"
Boyfriend: "Hold on, I'm just scrolling down to Stairway to Heaven."


Bootnote

*Oh, OK then - Ian Pearson said "flexible plastic electronics would sit inside the breast. A signal would be relayed to headphones, while the device would be controlled by Bluetooth using a panel on the wrist". We prefer our solutions, naturally.






haha. you decide. ;)
i think i like my boobs just fine. i don't need mp3's IN or ON them. haha.

i love sleeping.

so i shall start my sleeping campaign and sleep for like another 4 hours from 3 to 7 (where i shall be rudely awaken from my slumber at 6.30pm for dinner and then it'll become a 3 hour sleeping campaign).


anyway, went to compass point. got gary a new phone. haha.
we got him a cheapo phone.. the k300i from sony ericsson....
hahas....
$38 coz we were upgrading the phone.


okay i think i'm tired now.. shall go sleep.
byeeeee,

chill.




"Flat on the floor looking back
On old love...
Or lack thereof;
After all the crushes are faded;
And all my wishful thinking was wrong.
I'm jaded;
I hate it."

2005-10-12

Stupid tangerine speedos.

So I went to put in this really himbotic song into my playlist.
i swear it's sung by some model who thought singing a song about a speedo was fun.

But anyway, I'm gonna die of boredom and a rewind playing "Tangerine Speedo" by Caviar over and over and over again in my head... lalalalalalalalaala....

BLAH. stupid song.
stupid speedos and stupid singers who want towels and secret weapons and what shit about bodies not being able to veto something. stupid. blah just so stupid.


oh if you want the song, just pm me about it.
I swear you'd go "omfg. wth.... stupid song."
but hey, if you're as bimbotic as, well.. i dunno.. felix.. well, sure i guess you'd love this track.
haaaa..
oi dude, you niang niang jiang. ;) you know we still love yah.
wanda does! hahas.. =)

eh.. i bet the gang would just adore this song for like 5 minutes and go "wha lao.. laaaaame." and then chuck the song to the deep end corner of the hard disk only to wreck it out like a few months later and go adore it again for another few more minutes. hahahaha..
it's addictive, the song. ;)


BLARGH.
i'll just leave the song lyrics here, you go decide if you wanna listen to it later on or not and leave me a msg. hahas...

"2 week vacation
Costa Rica, see Amorica
Young ladies, oh Eureka!
so many there to score-ica
Cruise the ocean bars with some similar-type fellows
Little latin lovlies drinking gin and mellow-yellows.
please give me a towel
mr. tangerine speedo
you're all over town
tangerine la la la la la la la la
nowhere to go
nothing to do
I'll be as gentle on you as tearless baby shampoo
back to my bungalow
in flesh-toned kimonos
come a little closer feel the Sting of my Bono
no no no no
the talk of the town
mr tangerine speedo
how you get around
in your tangering la la la la la la la la
little latin lovlies
little lovlies drinking gin and mellow yellows
in my bungalow
loving me
tangerine la la la la la la la la
all the french girls go "zut alors no no"
no, no zut alors no no"
coming at the target
you're as straight as magellian
if you got a secret weapon
well you sure as hell ain't telling
cause your mouth's made an offer
that the bodies cannot veto
no woman can resist a man that looks good in a speedo
F%$kin' give me a towel
mr. tangerine speedo
you're all over town
tangerine la la la la la la la la
talk of the town
mr. tangerine speedo
how you get around
in your tangertine la la la la la la la la
little latin lovlies
little lovlies
drinking gin and mellow-yellow in my bungalow
zut alors no zut alors no no
zut alors no no no no"

utter boredom.

yeah yeah... my entries just reek of boredom everyday.
you can't blame me. (:
i'm just BORE-ded.

The moment I got home from school just now, I slept till dinner time. I do believe that was at about 5pm. Dinner was at 7pm.
blah, i'm still exhausted from well, nothing.

Terra gave me an awful bite on my thumb last night. so much so it resulted in my thumb bleeding like hell knows what. hahas.. fun fun. i kicked her in the butt anyway.



oooookay. anyway.
school was like uber boring?
reached the lab at 9.20am. I should've just fed the fish, go down to wherever deb's at and go disturb her or something.
then head back to school at 4pm to feed the fish and then go home.

But noooooo.. i decided to be a lazy arse and stay in the lab, rotting myself away.
i shall bring in something to do (uh, maybe many things) to keep me occupied.
Anyway, we decided to see if those display fishes could actually mate or not..
since they look so fat with eggs. (read: preggers)
so yeah. hopefully, they don't jump out of the tanks we put them in. they can be little horny bastards. they love orgies. hah!


okok. i shouldn't dirty your peuny minds anymore..
today, in place of the usual small snippet of a poem or songs...
I shall leave you with one whole frigging song.
Only because John Mayer's singing it. =)


Cheers, and enjoy!



From one of two favourite singers, Comfortable by John Mayer, with some edits..

"I just remembered, that time at the market
snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
And rolled down, isle 5
you looked behind you to smile back at me,
crashed into a rack full of magazines
they asked us, if we could leave.

Can't remember, what went wrong last September
though i'm sure you'd remind me, if you had to

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in...


I sleep with this new girl guy i'm still getting used to
my friends all approve, say 'she's he's gonna be good for you'
they throw me, high fives

She He says the bible is all that she he reads
and prefers that I not use profanity
your mouth was, so dirty

Life of the party
and she he swears that she's he's artsy
but you could distinguish
Miles from Coltrane

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in
she's he's perfect, so flawless
or so they say, say

She He thinks I can't see the smile that she's he's faking
and poses for pictures that aren't being taken
I loved you
grey sweat pants, no makeup, so perfect

Our love was, comfortable and
so broken in..
she's he's perfect, so flawless
I'm not impressed, I want you back.
"

2005-10-11

there's more to it than meets the eye..

There's more to my life than what meets the eye of many.
It's like taking in a full view and you can only pay attention to some details, and not all.
well, unless you're a savant and you have this really talented eye for detail and observation.


anyway, slept SOOO much today.
just literally got knocked out this afternoon. slept after lunch through till 5 plus... and i'm still feeling tired.

probably because i knew i passed all my modules this semester, albeit not the best marks (hell no) but yeah.. phew. i passed.


amanda's aunt is looking for workers.. $7/hr.
should I go? i think i'd prolly be scolded a whole lot there.
hahas.. blah.
I have to go brush up on PS-CS first.



okay, anyway, i'm like uber bored.
i made myself some empty promises that i didnt' wish to fulfil..
so like, d'uh.. didn't fulfil them.


Oh, i have a dream to fulfil!
rather, a goal to achieve! haahs..

Goal: To do EVERYTHING there is on earth to do.
i wanna go scuba diving, bungee jumping, take on the world's scariest roller-coaster ride (not the horror ones, just the gravity defying ones), feed stingrays, swim with dolphins, feed sharks, drive a taxi for a month (that means being a chauffeur but having an income for it), go to USA for vacations, study something in the uni and get a degree (ok, everyone wants that), skateboard, wakeboard, surf, boogieboard, parasail.. you know.. do all the wacky stuff..

then marry a good-looking, good-dress sense, capable guy with a nice big fat stable incomed job and become a taitai.
haha. i think i'd look forward to being a tai tai more than anything else. =P

hmmm... anyway, time to go get some sleep.
have to be back in school tomorrow for zebrafishing.


cheerios.

boredom at its peak

I got so bored just last sunday, I downloaded Google Earth to check out what stuff they boasted about.
I found Loius Vuitton building in Paris, France.
I found my favourite uni, UNSW in Sydney.
I even found Australia's only nuclear reactor in Lucas Heights, NSW.

I found UCLA. (my god, they have such an expanding network of buildings!)
I found the Hollywood signboards. (yes, i really saw the words "Hollywood")
I got to see The Effiel Tower - again.
I got to see L'Arc de Triomphe (they're still beautiful as ever!)

I can't find something though.
The great wall of CHINA. )=
it's missing.


but anyway, since i've been there, and well, pretty much toured the world in 5 minutes.. i shall now go and find the Statue of Liberty in Manhattan.
;)
and then proceed in finding Mt. Titlis again. lol



results were.. well, maintained.
so yeah. i'm not happy about it.


"I find it hard to trust.
Not only me, but everyone around me..
Because of you, I am afraid.

And now I cry;
In the middle of the night..
For the same damn thing,
over and over again."

2005-10-10

um, not so "happening" outing?

So yah.
I went to meet debra and serica.. was about to go meet up with amanda when I felt the sudden urge to be lazy and not go pubbing after all.

'coz angeline looked into her wallet and realised daddy only gave her $20 today. She'd spent $10 in school and the other $10 she wanted to save up to pay ninah back.

So anyway, we walked. and walked. and walked. and walked.

oooh..!

Angeline was left speechless again in less than 24 hours.
Today she saw this huge thug african-american doode (well, he looks the type, serious) who was all thug. you know, the gait, the atts, the whole aura about him was so thug-gish.

I was in all awe about him, when I saw... his frigging skull cap.
freak.
it was NEON PINK.



>_< WTF!?!?!
NEON PINK SKULL CAP!?!?
like Doooode... you're the big 'all-hail-me-coz-i-am-THE-Thug' doode and the best you can come up with is a NEON PINK SKULL CAP!!?!?!?
are you OUTTA YOUR MIND OR WHAT?!

O_O

Angeline was left utterly speechless in less than 24 hours.
LESS THAN 24 FRIGGING HOURS AND YOU FRIGGING LEFT ME SPEECHLESS!



god. what is this world coming into?



guess who we met today?
casssssssandra!!
that girl is like near stick thin, and she's eating yoghurt ice cream and telling me, "i'm fat."
haha.. girl, okay lah.. compared to sophie, yes, you're much chubbier. but i'll gladly put you next to me just so that those morons are able to see the size difference.
you fat? not a chance, babe!
anyway, yes, i'm talking about cassandra leong from this year's newpaper face lah.
cassandra.. well, she's this really fun-loving, loves-to-go-absolutely-insane-anytime girl and she LOVES eating non-stop.
she used to be my chinese enrichment class buddy in primary school and we'd go back to school on saturdays just to improve our chinese (which sadly, to no avail did it become any better for either of us).

haha.. she lives like just opposite me in the block next to mine, but it seems that i bump into her in town more than i see her from my void deck. lol.

i shall go yell her name at 3am in the morning tmr night. ;)



deb and her mom had a quarrel just now before rica and i decided we were lazy and cabbed home from town.
#@&%!)(*%!!!!! 12 frigging dollars.
screw you, taxi guy.


):
i need money.
when, oh, when... is dr henry gonna give me a call again?
medical reports, medical reports, i want to type you out.
i wanna talk to aunt lydia again! spain! rome! i shall 'conqueur' you too!



blah.
i shall go conqueur SOP for Zebrafishing now.
gawd. neon pink.
blargh. i still can't get over that. OKAY?
i mean, NEON PINK!?!?! what is he? ghey?
if he'd on an electric blue, i'd have went, "oh. that's so f***ing cool."



"Don't need a man to make things fair,
coz more then likely he won't be there.
Listen girl, gotta know it's true..
In the end all you've got is you."

a lil' piece of a miracle turned up...

A lil' piece of a miracle turned up...

and I just have no choice but to sneak in a smile for it.
(:

angeline is one happy girl for those 5 very precious minutes of pure bliss she got this morning.



well, i've printed out the past year papers to look through and attempt.
gonna borrow notes from seniors to read..


char char.. keep practicising your maths and physics.. practice till you memorise them!! (: i'm sure you'll do fine, k? just remember what i adviced you in my sms-es, and you should do just fine..


now, i shall go sms debra to see if she's done with the fittings...
she's so slow sometimes.
ooh, alliteration! (:

in life..

In life, we all know, the only good thing is the influx of money for many of us.
I'm included in there.
but we also know that the influx of emotions, well, the good happy ones, are needed too.

Too little tlc and we'll all end up frustrated, angry and depressed, no?



okay, just rubbish there.
that happens when you sleep at 3.15am, get rudely woken up at 7, and have to finally get up at 8.35am.
dang.


anyway, i'm outta here..
going back to school for a while...

chill.

i was left speechless

Angeline was left speechless at 6.45pm on 9 Oct 05 by amanda.
'manda: yes, you were right. I just kept it in and didn't wanna say a word of it. I thought it was useless to even talk about it. but it's just pushing me to an about-turn and sending me down to the depths of depression. I don't know how I do it, but sometimes I just block it out entirely for hours on end. Just so that I don't think of it.





Oooookay...
so...
right.
It's not even a day, and I found a new blog layout.
If you're wondering what's with the skin, and by golly, it can move like it's on a flash player!
yes, you're right, it's made on flash, css and java.
all thanks to the brain-child shanglong of shanglong industries.
no, just kidding. he doesn't own shanglong industries.
he just owns this really funky brain for IT.
Thanks doode. your layout saved this blog. haha.
i was thinking of deleting it already.
it=blog. d'uh, you doofus.


anyway, we should all watch "Grind". it's the.. well.. it's like the sequel of the prequel "lords of dogtown".
It just kicks ass. (=

I reckon hazrul's a d.o.m., yeah.
haha. watching his suitors pole dancing. abit *ahem* eh, duncha think, hazrul?


I keep feeling so damn depressed.
over... well, I can't put a finger to it as to what the hell i'm getting depressed about. soooo... basically i'm just shitting my ass off over it and getting all crapped up over it.

Angeline hopes to cheer up soon enough. yes, she really does. before she turns into a schizophrenic and go 'round campus of nanyang polytechnic, killing people she hates.


"gone, were the days where mugging was the right thing to do.
gone, were the days where fixed timetables made us groan in misery.
gone, were the days where I spent my eyes, fingers and ears peeled for that mobile phone.
gone, were the days where I'd give up 24/7 of my time for you.
gone, were those golden days I never really realised how to treasure for eternity.


I'm sorrowfully regretting it now."

2005-10-09

do check it out...

Check out my msn blog, I don't think I shall want to blog here much longer... haha.. or rather, this blog would be a lesser used one...

till I get some motivation (like a new blog layout) to blog here again..?
yeah..

My MSN-Space

I've been feeling outta place since a year ago.. why so?
I don't know.

Slept 'early' last night, that's if you count tossing and turning around in bed for 2 hours before getting too exhausted to stay awake 'sleeping'... haha...
I think I look like a zombie.

Down times aren't fun, they suck a whole lot, so why am I putting myself through it?
*shrugs*
Probably because I know I have to go through it before emerging out of those shadows again to take a deep breath of the crumbling society of tomorrow.

Reality in society is a very harsh one. Many don't feel it, they don't see it because they are ignorant to it.
Till they learn the ropes of life in society, they won't ever know. Won't ever know it at all.


And all I went through was just a wee bit of it.
Others have it worse, I'm very sure. They learnt the bitter, harsh way.

Good luck to you for you don't understand.
Perhaps one day, you'll learn the reality of society, life, and some.



"(I) May be surrounded by a million people,
I still feel all alone..
Oh I miss you, you know?


And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you.
Each one a line or two:
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well, I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough..
My words were cold and flat and you deserve more than that."

2005-10-08

Way too negative

this morning, for some stupid reason...
perhaps it's just the booze at it, I got depressed.
so utterly depressed, but i didn't have anyone to talk to.
so all i could do was to turn to a schoolmate, well, one of the better schoolmates around..

half the time while i felt utterly stupid talking to her (there fore i seldom talk to my schoolmates, etc. they always make me feel stupid.)
half the time i was contemplating about drinking more.

I know drinking's not gonna solve any problems.
In fact, it'll just add on to my worries.
Can you imagine how many calories I have to kill off at the rate of bailey's i'm downing at one shot?
like it's water or something.


makes me detest myself.



so no, i didn't drink.
Coz i knew once i started, I wouldn't stop. as usual. hah.
Well, i only stop when my bladder protests..


anyway, i felt that i was being way too negative...
and i prolly will feel that way and be that way for a very long time (as it is at the moment too).



"No one bites back as hard on their anger.
None of my pain will and can show through..

I wish, I wish,
I wish it was all that easy..

Everyone around me is a total stranger,
Everyone avoids me like a cyclone ranger..
Everyone."

today was GREAT!!

DID YOU KNOW??
OCT-7: This is World Angel Day. It is celebrated by groups in Australia, Canada, Europe, South Africa and the U.S. It is a time "when everyone will be touched and overlit by angels."


well, besides the fact that people said they wanted to come and didn't turn up in the end.... that dampened my mood slightly...
but i got to spend it with my 3 bestest buddies and my family anyway! =)
'manda spent some 2 hours with me at seoul garden with me today.. and we had a frigging good time trying not to get oil splattered on our arms.
it was a real feat, but I managed to CONQUER SEOUL GARDEN!!!!



I feel so proud of myself.


and yes, for the next one week, i'm eating nothing but plain porridge and preserved vegetables.

i'm gonna get indigestion from what i ate today.
glutton once in 3 years, okay.



yuck.



hahah...
anyway, I had REALLY great gifts today! =)
mom and dad got me a mp3 player! yipees!
and then ninah got me this REALLY cute mug that had pictures of cats drawn all over it.. with this little cat figurine on top of the ear of the mug...

yep!!
plus with the gang's present... (i heard from 'manda you guys were trying to synchronise a 'happy birthday' song for me today! haha... thanks doodes! appreciate the effort put in though it just wasn't successful!!)
and amanda's present as well (yea, i've been making use of it!)

NICE! i just love it!
this morning i woke up to about 10 messages! nice!
probably more than that...
hahas...

and all through the day it was more and more well wishes....


haha.. i feel worshipped!
but it's only once a year, so I really cherished those well wishes! =)
thank you, one and all!


so anyway, dinner was rather quiet, coz deb wasn't here yet..
she came down at about 9pm.. haha..
we spent some time crapping around.. and i was trying to pour this layer of vodka above the bailey's originals..
i forgot to get the amaretto... =(
and the peach schnapps.


so many things i have to buy.
i need banana liqueur.


anyway, yeah....
hahas... it's been a great birthday after all, i think.
now it's about 3 days till the results get released...
i'm kinda freaking out now that i'm back to reality.
geez.


it's a little more liqueur tomorrow...
and mahjong sessions....
and one more birthday cake.
i think i got my younger bro hooked on mahjong.
he's only 11.


cheers!


hahahahahha....


it's dad's bday today. sweet!


oh yeah, happy birthday, siti! *Mwah!* hope you cheer up on this day! for it's your birthday today!



alrighty...
time to go sleep!


"I wanted so badly to just find out where you are right now and just give you a good big bear hug coz I suddenly realised how much I actually missed you.


I decided that I've missed you too much and I want to fly over to australia right this morning.. just to watch you sleep in your bed, just to take one good look at you so that I can memorise every feature that you have on you..



I miss you, yes baby, I really do."

2005-10-07

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!

all of you have to bow down at my feet and worship me today!!
for I AM THE BIRTHDAY QUEEN!!!


MWAHAHAHAHAAH....




crap. so early in the morning and i'm already so rubbishy-fied.
But even before posting this, mervyn's already worshipping me. COOOL!




Anyway, yeah... i finally found a way to do videoblogging and i shall try it out! :D
i have the software, the hosting sites....

way cool.




okay, i'm outta here.. off to meet ninah in a bit.. and then get bored all over again.. haha.. byeeee!

2005-10-06

a video.

mistakes never learnt

I don't know.
maybe you read too much into me,
and i the same.

maybe i'm just overly paranoid.
we don't talk much nowadays,
how would i have known you're not like the rest?

many things could've just happened in that span of the few weeks;
like how they got brainwashed, even the strongest of them got brainwashed,
how am i to know if you haven't been brainwashed..?


my amount of trust in anyone has shrunk so low,
yes, I know, I'm cold.
So cold, i feel the chills.


I hate myself for making you feel upset,
but I didn't mean to.
It's just reflex to me nowadays.
like how i am in need of oxygen to breathe, and food to eat.

I'm sorry that I upset you.


I'm just messed up inside, you should've known.
but then again, you don't coz you don't even read this.



argh, whatever.
i'm just so sick of school.
i feel like i'm dying inside so, so fast.
i'm sorry, i've even lost hope for myself.
i'm so paranoid, and to you, i'm so cold.
i'm sorry for being reclusive.



but that's how i am now.
my invite to you is still open till the hours will be passed.




"There's nobody here but yourself;
In the end it's the wealth of your spirit.
Now hurry up get on with it...

I took a guess and cut a portion out of my heart,
He said that's nowhere close enough but it's a damn good start.
I wrote the secret that I buried on the wishing well wall...
He said I've seen one...
It follows that I've seen them all.
We spoke of human destination in a perfect world;
Derived the nature of the universe (found it unfulfilled);
As I took him in my arms.
He screamed I'm not insane..
I'm just looking for someone to understand my pain..."

2005-10-05

Counting down those hours...

haha.. less than 3 days now! =)

and like less than 7 to the results. =(



blah...
I miss grandma lots..
tsk.




anyway, went to school to get the zebrafish room cleaned out.
dr donny was complaining about the horrible mess that was in the room.. (wonderfully created by the year 3s and the year 1s... i'm the only year 2.. besides cuirong) and i don't make a mess, so it's them, not me.


siu wen and i were busy cleaning the room out and yeah... ughs.. so much dirt and dust and heck knows what.. insects? yuck.

We had a fun time having small chats and cleaning the place up.. haha.. it was fun..
then came in the year ones... haiz...
don't wanna talk about it. all i can say is that they're so arrogant, ignorant and obnoxious, these particular 2 of them...

Anyway, did a video up of grandma's trip to switzerland, as well as parts of the funeral...
it's all done up.. haha.. and i feel much better, though I felt that it just isn't enough... =(



ah well...
i'll get pictures from merv...
and then we'd do up the videos... ;)




okay, gotta go..


"You Are So Beautiful To Me....
You Are So Beautiful To Me....
Can't You See?
Your're Everything I Hoped For,
Your're Everything I Need,
You Are So Beautiful To Me.

Such Joy And Happiness You Bring...
Such Joy And Happiness You Bring...
Like A Dream,
A Guiding Light;
That Shines In The Night,
Heavens Gift To Me.

You Are So Beautiful To Me..."

2005-10-04

Brahms Lullaby

haha.... We played that over the stereo during grandma's funeral and nearly went to sleep coz we'd just take any good chance to go back to sleep..
have brahms lullaby was like listening to the sirens of the sea sing.
Immediate effect. ;)


anyway, my aunts and uncles weren't really happy today.
Not because they're upset over grandma's death. It was a happy death, that I can assure you.
Rather, they were pissed off at each other.
can't talk much about it here.. coz they're like sensitive issues to begin with.


okay, well.. went back to school..
and yeah.. well, optimizing stuff again... they're always finding me to optimize stuff.. blah.
stupid. third year project i'm gonna get something good.
i swear i will.



I won't be lost, next time you see me;
My pain will be gone. Baby, believe me..
I've been trying but my heart keeps on breaking. I won't be lost.
Smiling like a billionaire, hoping you were unaware..
The walls inside were caving in, my world had come apart again.

2005-10-03

emotions

There are lots of emotions coursing through me right now..
situations at hand i'm not very sure about on the means of handling them.


Many events have happened over the course of the last 1 month.
I'm stretched out way too thin about it, but yet, i'm still finding some source of elasticity to keep going on and on and on and on and on...
how much longer will i be this stretched out till the line snaps?


that's a question i've been asking myself ever since the start of last semester.
Answer: I have no idea.


Where's the determination coming from?
Answer: I really have no idea either.
conclusion: I'd really love to imagine i'm superhuman, with super abilities. unfortunately for me, i already have super abilities to be stretched out so thin, yet know my limits.
most don't have that ability and are probably overly jealous over that. (but some people hor, have too much of this ability. i want more from them but they don't teach me how to do it. prolly they don't know how to teach it to me, or rather they're being selfish - in my cynical opinion)


I always like to think that I'm mentally very VERY fit. too fit actually.
well, my iq works in different ways many cannot comprehend, and usually they mistake me for wanting to start fights or be annoying. (so much like my classmates to do that)

People don't really understand me. I don't bother trying to explain myself unless i see the need to. or unless you open that golden mouth of yours to ASK. or merely use your fingers to type me a question or two.


My reasoning in life is such that, I will treat you the way you treat me.
like ian would always go "What" or "yes" whenever i go "hey ian!"
i'd do the same to him when he says "hello" to me over msn.
like serica would usually go "yes me! wassssup man? =D" whenever i go "oi you!"
i'd go "heeeeey... wassup babe? =D" whenever she goes "hey gel.."


My reasoning in life is basic fundamentals.
If there is cause, there will be effect.
many do not take to the buddhist teachings even though how much sense it makes.
probably coz they don't feel as spiritually strong as they do for other religions.
But when you read just a quote or two from a buddhist scripture, you'll find every sentence with an exact brought forth meaning.
i'll give an easy example.. if you frown, you'll look fierce, hence no one will dare to approach you.
the cause: you frown
the effect: no one will dare to approach you
the reasoning: you look too fierce.
Every single simple thing we do has an effect on everything that surrounds us. It's like a ripple effect that we cannot control unless we control its focal point: us.


My reasoning is incomprehensible to many.
SO much to say, i'm not surprised that my best friends will always tell me "you ah.. dunno what you're trying to think of.. so cheem" whenever i'm thinking of something big..
cheem = complex
I won't explain this much. Coz this whole bloody entry doesn't involve my reasoning being incomprehensible.


anyway, enough about the reasonings..
I'd like to think that because of these reasonings, my emotions are determined.
like how i'm able to be stretched out so much, yet still handle it quite well..
but i guess the only thing i can't stretch out (unless being forced to) would be trying to mix around with my classmates.
I think i've formed a stigma on them. Whenever i think of school, i think how horrible my class is. there isn't one occasion where i think of a positive note when it comes to the class. This is the result of having 2 bad semesters with a class like them being manifested over time.


Not that they're criminals.. they're just the sort whom you'd love to kill next time when you're out in the work force. Seriously, in all honestly, these are the people you'd love to kill.
well, we all know i'm using They coz I don't want to point out names... they makes it a little more ambiguous.
you go figure and if you're feeling hate or ridicule for me, you just admitted that you're one of them whom you'd love to kill next time.
cheers to your miserable lives. ;)






anyway, time to go take another shower and head to bed..
my lovely lovely bed.. i've missed it for about 3 days now...


i'll settle my situations over the weekend.. lol.
now, it's back to work work work and more work.
and then see what i can do with those empty pages that're in the little books the gang and amanda gave to me.. =)



PS: the book with my name written on the cover.. that's a photo album right?
and whoever designed that first page, WOW. =)
i like that page LOADS. i'm wrecking my brains on what picture to put in there so as not to kill the efforts with some wack stupid picture.. lol.

Just a quickie one...

To the gang and amanda:
thank you SO much for those gifts..! I really appreciate them. And i'll be sure to make use of them in whatever that's most creative of me to do.. lol.
thanks again..


anyway, blah.
i'm so frigging tired.
i stole 4 hours of sleep last night. and i felt like i had 7 hours instead.
tonight, it's chatting with my cousins, watching movies on merv's laptop, and then watching gramz for one last time and saying my last prayers, last words and my last well wishes to her.

i miss her already even if she's just lying dead in the coffin.
it's just weird.
i guess that's what you call love in the family.
it's just weird.

2005-10-01

i need....

new things..

1) headphones
2) laptop
3) laptop casing carrier thingy
4) 250gb portable hard disk
5) whatever they say, never get a mp4. i need a mp3 player.
6) i can't think of anything now



so you guys just go eat shit, go and die or something.
=)

cheers.





ps: to all you kiddies out there (eg: the gang. yes, amanda did show me some um.. pictures of you guys doing wack stuff.. wicked!)...

HAPPY CHILDRENS DAY!!!!