2nd day of schooool...
ian said something I agreed with today, but not quite much...
"First day of school was bad, today's even worse!!"
I wonder how long this bad phase will stick with us.. hahas...
elene from 0405 came over to our class.. she's my schoolmate, so yeah, hahahas.. so cool! ^_^V
hmmm... nothing much happened today, besides having so many calls coming in at like 11pm.... it's crazy.
I'm taking up presidentship next year for SCL-exco...
i have to plan various events.. dinna and dance for the seniors, possibly annual sports event, talentine, umm.. what else.. orientation again, NDP, and then.. oh, I dunno.. it's alot.
Steven's gonna kill me.. coz i haven't done his 1-page write up for MCYS and YMCA about the super pitch...
MCYS is gonna hold some press about superpitch.. this is getting super stressful.. since anderson sec isn't exactly putting in much effort on it..
I'm having "Meet the clients" session with Mervin tomorrow evening..
we're gonna meet at 6.30pm so that he can brief and fill me in on the stuff's that's happening.
We'll be meeting a football team, the DJ's from NP, and the EO..
busy day ahead..
mom's birthday is just but a few days away.. i haven't bought her anything yet... =(
ummmm...
well, school doesn't really suck, coz everyone's still talking.. it's somewhat awkward but well, I haven't been talking much in the first place..
Peisuan's moving over to PCT.. way to go girl!! =D
i'm sure you'll have fun with all that memorising of chemical names...
while i have fun with all the proteomics and changing normal zebrafish fitted in with glow-in-the-dark capabilities! hee hee...
i still have yet to mail mr matthew on the applications to unsw or harvard... though i doubt i'll get in, i'll give it a try...
gotta go. you all be good. night kiddos..
SILLIKER!!!
today, mr matthew told us silliker's looking for students from nyp to do their paid attachments with them at their branch in Australia... freaking shiat!! hahaha...
it stated "Generous Paid Attachment to work in Australia" and if you don't get into the australia one, they still have "27 branches all over the world" to meet your demands at where you wanna be posted to. like soooooo cool! hee hee...
Hmmm.. then again, Havard university's offering attachment cum project thingy with them over in USA (big ka-chings for xiaohui) and UNSW is also offering their attachment cum project thingy in Aussie too!!! whahahaha...
i better work suuuper well this semester and the next... then i can get a choice of whether i'd rather go usa, or aussie, or aussie.. hahahahhaa...
school was.. o.k. today. just plain okay... that tsekebei didn't come today, soooo i'm lucky.
i'm so tired now... but still have all those preparations to get on with...
so yeah.. talk to all of you later..
ooooh yea!
school starts tomorrow, but i'm dying inside... there are many possibilities i can look at this situation... i can be happy that i'm starting school again, i get to see my classmates, people whose company i appreciate and enjoy.. although some of them i'd be happier without them around.. not pointing names, but i think it's very much obvious who doesn't like me in class, hurh? but more importantly, i get to bump into michelle and the rest!!
I could take a different approach, and dread the upcoming sem.. i really hate the next sem.. coz I have to re-do inorganic chemistry.. it's depressing to know that I can't even understand parts of inorganic chemistry, which everyone thinks and says and is, by fact, an easy topic.
死 備, hurh?
...
whatever.
I'll just TRY to give my best. I shan't give up though! (_0^^)==O)X_x)
i'll show 'em! (more like show myself, actually) uggggh..
time to go do some stuff...
well, cy'all around in school then..
[untitled]
there's obviously something wrong with me.
I end up going home feeling utterly depressed EVERY SINGLE TIME.
I mean, yeah, I love being home and all that.. but being alone in the bus makes me feel depressed all the time.
Even if there's a friend with me, the whole 'going-home' thing just.. well, it just doesn't work with me for the past week or so.
Maybe I should beg mom to get me a bike or something, then I can ride home while doing something... even listening to the radio put me into depression...
maybe it's just pms, hurh? heh heh...
oh i don't know.. this is just all too depressing. blame it on the stuff jon gave me. listening to it makes me high and addicted to it. not listening to it makes me all sad and depressed.
psycho music...
*shudders*who wants some of it?
anyway, I went to debra's place to watch some lame freak-o dvd.. whah! like shit lor... 5566 so bloody.. drama. I know it's a freaking comic book, dun have to act until so...
*shudders* ugh, right?
So yeah, watched one disk and then I told her and yati that I'm leaving for home.. just when I was about to open the door, it clicked open by itself, and this really haggard and tired looking uncle philip took a step into his home. Let me tell you, he never looked more happier than to step home.. haha.. =)
then, 2 seconds later, aunt jean came in too... she looked equally tired. So yeah, I wanted to let them get more rest, so I quickly bid them goodbye and left..
aaaaaand, no, that's not when I started feeling depressed. Coz i'm walking to a destination - the bus stop.
Anyway, I dunno, some stuff I just don't feel like putting down into actual typed out thoughts that's readable to others... It'll just annoy the hell out of them and then another hoo-haa will occur again, like how I got into some tiff with the class just the semester before...
But I can only say this:
Since stepping into polytechnic, I haven't once been happy. not once. Everything and everyone is just.. plainly so superficial. It's real enough to be real, coz everyone puts in abit of effort to make an acquantance, a friend. but I guess they're equally scared as well.
It feels like being in back in the past again. where the past takes part on it own again and makes itself repeated. The feelings are entirely the same. Even if the situation and the venue where these unhappiness occurs, it's all the same. nothing ever changes.
I hate this feeling. Maybe that's why I've been so upset and depressed. I don't wanna go back to school. It horrifies me a whole lot. My classmates don't really give me much of a reason to go to school anyway. I've lost most of the reason to study now that even going to school takes the fun out of everything.
I don't know. I just hope I snap out of this daze soon. I really hate feeling this way..
i'm bashed....
tired, that's what I was trying to get at...
i'll prolly head to bed, if i was feeling too exhausted...
but i haven't showered, neither have i taken my dosage of..water.
haaha!! got ya there, didn't i?
anyway, I went to meet debra and rica..we went bugis-ing today! :D hahaha...
then at about 5, debra and I headed into town, went to cineleisure, and book 2 tickets for "My boyfriend is type B", it's that cute korean show... omg.. it's sooooooo nice!!! haha! not for guys to watch, but they could prolly learn a thing or two from that movie..
hmmmm.... well then, I think I've found a good laugh from that movie..
anyway, i'm off to do my stuff and then sleeeeep!
byeee!
P.S.: Lancome's Treson smells like chocolate!!! it's got this really really sweet nice smell... i like! ^^V
this is awful.....
I think I may have successfully and accurately pissed off wenping (one of the girls in floorball)....
I kinda.. went too into the game and hit her floorball stick a little way too hard. No huge harm done to the stick, but I bet there was a dent on it.. =S
wenping.. i am so soooo sorry about that...
Hmmm.. today's training was okay, despite that muscle was still acting up while jogging around on the court.
I think I twisted a vein out of place in my finger. hurts like.. well, it just hurts.
=S
*like a freaking motherf**ker at that*
Today, I spent the whole morning and afternoon cooped up in the room, watching naruto
-AGAIN- coz I didn't know what else to do.
it's merely 5 days more till school starts and I haven't gotten my books. that's like, crap. I'll go tomorrow. With some of dad's money. I guess $50 will do fine.
I haven't really blogged about how I feel lately.. it's just mindless things that I've done, prolly a few snide comments (pathetic attempts at it).
But today.. today.. today felt different.
Like I've suddenly lost something or someone really precious to myself. It's this helpless feeling that I felt, something no one wants to feel. Like you're all alone despite having your loved ones around you..
Then I realised...
I lost myself.
And I was depressed about it. heh.
stupid of me, hurh?
ahhh well...
I think I'll skip dinner tonight even though I'm feeling really hungry.
it's always like this
I dunno. I end up with shit-long entries.. heh.
I've been spending the past 4 months, looking, staring hard, studying and observing the wonders of the setting sun. while it's best watched at the beach, I tend to beg to differ. I rather like the sun setting any where. More so at the familiar surroundings of my hometown, right smack in hougang.
The sun sets at rica's present home is splendid too, if not for the top floors blocking the actual splendour of it..
Watching the sunset gives me a melancholic feel. It's sort of like a heart-breaking moment that I have to myself every evening in the quiet of my brothers' room.
The moments are always melancholic, but to the brighter side of it, it makes me feel a weird sense of acheivement and satisfaction. I don't exactly know why...
but that's how it is, every night that I take a long look at the setting sun.
It may be a cloudy evening, where the rays of the sun penetrate through the clouds, giving it this magnificant feel. it makes you feel rather enchanted while taking your breath away.
It may be a cloudy evening again, but so cloudy that the sun disappears behind the clouds, and all you see are a range of colours and some drifting clouds.. and weak rays of sunlight trying to break free from those tinted clouds.
Or, if I'm lucky, some nights, I'd find myself staring longingly at an utterly cloudless, warm evening, where all I'd love to do would be to stick my body out of the window and attempt to reach out for a breeze. That's when it hits me, of the spectacular display of reds, orange, blues and yellows come flooding into my eyes.
So far, I've managed to catch 3 of those utterly cloudless, warm yet spectacular sunsets.. of which, I only took the camera out once. (I was too busy staring at the sunset the other two times)
what sorta sunset have you taken before?
and how did it make you feel? melancholic? nostalgic?
boredom strikes again!
bored.
so bored.
bored out of my mind.
i've re-watched naruto 3 times. i'm bored.
i've watched kungfu hustle 10 times.
i need some life here.
if only i have more enthusiastic friends. i wouldn't be in this state now.
-_-|| actually, i have enthusiastic friends.
i'm just lazy.
damn.
i'm b.o.r.e.d.
it's vesak day...
Unlike other nights, tonight's moon shall be one of the roundest, says my mom...
"yarh, and then all the werewolves will come 'wooooooo'-ing hor? and then, and then!!! then, they'll bite other people and there'll be more WEREWOVLES!!!! arh-WOOOOOOOO-gah!" - younger bro.
"heh... as if. I think they'll all have a go at you first. ...and you'll become a werechicken instead." -me
and the older bro goes clucking away like a chicken and making more stupid jokes about the younger bro while dad laughs his ass away.
sheesh!
such moments. rare indeed! makes me wanna tease them all abit more..
b.o.r.e.d..... damn.
I feel like getting away and out from this place, off to another place.
For the solace that I seek, I shall try again and again.
to be free, just like the clouds.
take a goooooood look...
Okay, so i tweaked the timing.. but what the heck, all for blogging. see....
it's 20-05-2005, 20:05hrs.
like freak-sweet, it is!
shit, too many starwars commercials on TV has done me in bad....
Anyway, just wanted to post something up since I can't find a pen and paper anywhere in sight...
Cyst Storage:
Brine shrimp cysts are best stored at low-humidity, low-temperature conditions to maintain their hatching quality. For long-term storage, store at temperatures below 50°F (10°C), but above freezing.that's for ms eunice.
but they haven't stated for how long. =S
gotta mail those idiots for it...
anyway, there're lots of things for me to do tonight..
like studying for my test, and doing up the NEH NEH project for peisuan.. (IT IS SO FREAKING NEH NEH IMMA TELLING YA!!!!)
yeah, okay...
talk laters. wait. I can't talk or chat online tonight. so if I'm "away", i'm doing work. chow down on your pillows or some thing and keep your blistering information to yourself just for tonight. I'm fighting with time here.
toodles peeps...
and you don't take care now, coz when you fall sick, at least you'll be home the whole day and at least I can talk to you online..
how cunning, i am! ;)
angeline
it's always titles...that i can't come up with...
meh.. no inspiration to blog tonight.. coz i'm helping mich to do sommat..
anyway, today.. since you're so nice to pop by to give my blog a nice visit.....
woke up late, forgot to call the ogls (mr mic's gonna kill me), went for briefing with the kids at anderson sec, met up with 'manda, bought that stupid $12 book from the library, met up with deb and her dad, sat in at berkerly institute for media and arts MAYA course preview class thingy. Dinner at ajisen ramen @ PS, movie at cine, talked to mich, finally, home.
there we go. and now...
time for me to help mich find her stuff.. then off to bed for me.
what a week.
pooped out..
It's gotta be me, but training seemed so much more... ardous today. Coz i'm so exhausted, I couldn't even wake up today. Not till mom screamed "IT'S EIGHT AND YOU'RE STILL AT HOOOOMEEE!!!!"
anyway yeah, got to school and had to start working and planning every thing on hand... so... terrible..
yah.. and well,
*sighs* while it was pretty slack today, I still had to do so many things.. running around making sure stuff was okay, typing out forms, printing them, planning the seats out with albert and hilary, running about to make sure the groups get out on time and all that...
I've made a few new friends as well.. haha.. namely carol, she's such a crazy fun-loving girl.. i'll prolly link her into SCL-exco if I can.. hahah.. see, being good to me has its benefits.. =P
lately, I've been lazy. or rather more of shrinking away from the net.. i'm only online around this time.. 9 - 12... then i'm off to sleep..
haha.. or plan.
oh shit. I haven't studied for my Advanced Theory test which is like in 4 days?
time to study tomorrow! >__<
i'd better remind rica about it. it's on saturday, 11.45am..
oh crap, I'd better go off and study now.
see y'all when I see y'all, aights?
take care, luv, hugs and kisses..
xoxo
angeline, peace out.
omfg... ugh....
orientation today..was ugh. dun wanna talk about it...
hopeless, and horrible... hahaha... okay lah.. the OGLs and runners were great.. you did a tremendously great job for those of you reading! =D
Thank you all so much for turning up today!
hmmmm.. treasure hunt.. well, from hilary, it's his first time doing ANY event planning. but I'd say he did a REALLY great job!!! You really have to hand it to him, he came up with the whole integrated game.. it was rather flawless really... really detailed and all that... but then again, he's from piano esemble, astro club, helicase... does nanotech with mr saifudin... that's a major accomplishment, tho he was quite upset with the screw-ups he made...
but some of the station masters.. their attitudes sucked a whole lot, really. I was quite disappointed to hear that the OGs and the rest were not happy with that fella's behaviour. I was upset about it too, afterall, it's just nothing but a lil' game to let the OGs get familiar with their new campus... ahh.. okok, gotta let my mind rest on that matter already.
games.. games did superbly well, even though they stretched so long...
but i'm so proud of anittha for treating her team so nicely that they decided to put in their extra efforts and go all out to make sure the games were great... everyone seem to enjoy it...
anyway i gotta stop here. i'm seriously exhausted.. =S
still have that shit schedule to do.. and mails to send. i'm so shit dead. crap.
yue fei
I'd been hooked on reading this chinese classic comic... it's the old ancient story of Yue Fei.. ;)
i'm so tired.
slept at 2 last night, couldn't wake up this morning.. which was at like 7.30... I only got up an hour later.. lol
when dad came banging at my door "it's EIGHT THIRTY!!! GET UP!!! NOW!"
so as usual, our dear bloggist here, grumbles and mumbles curses under her breath and gets to the bath room, only to find out.. we ran out of toothpaste. how pathetic can it get already? not only am I deprived of my sleep (thanks to bloody shit terrence for holding me back online. yea, shit you terrence), I'm deprived of toothpaste.
well, so like okay lah, I went out at 9.10... got to shiao-yin's place at 10.10.. met kai feng at the traffic junction to yin's place. we got there.. then.. no one was there.. like shiiiiaaat. well, okay, mervin, nicole and his buddy was there.
PEISUAN CAME!!!! =D
michelle ong came too! ^__^
STEVEN CAME!!! now that's a surprise.. =P
meeting till 12...
then I rushed off to floorball training.
sonia was there.. she's the captain..
floorball was well, okay i guess.. it's not very taxing today seeing as there's only 5 of us, but then again, I'd been panting by half time of training. so shittay.. the last time I felt like that was when I'd just recovered from my wrist injury.. no PE, no sports, no golf, no swimming, no nothing. so shittay.
hopefully I get back some stamina. floorball's good.. but i think i was kinda aggressive at training.. heh.. too excited lah. I SO WANNA TRASH TP!!!! Gillian, I'm sooooo gonna trash your club. sick! =P
you may beat me in artsy fartsies, but I'll still beat ya at floorball... ;)
let the old memories run back to us, hurh? =P
sonia gave me a stick and a ball to bring home for abit of practice.. i'll prolly do it in the balcony.. the floor there's totally ruined.. lol.. marble spoil already.. it needs polishing.. but yeah, well.. too much dust until it lost it's glamour.
annnnyhoots..
meh.. i'm bored. i think i'm gonna go continue with my reading of Yue Fei.. =P
see you fellas around..
be good now ye'hear!!
cheers!
angeline
blah
this post will be short - i hope.
I owe peisuan my part on NE project. I hate doing research. I can't find ANYTHING on that damn library, but still trying. I'M STILL TRYING.
*grumbles*Orientation is stressing me out. Seriously, my first time doing it. I wonder how I'll fare next year on my own.. sheesh. I hope it won't be too much of a failure.
I so totally spaced out at the meeting with those kiddos at Anderson sec...
geez.. they can't even listen to their teacher while he talks. And they don't listen. That's like so... ugh. hair-pulling, nerve-wrecking effect you know?
Did the orientation details till about 2+ this morning.. then, when I woke up this morning, I suddenly realised that I forgot to add in quite a lotta stuff.. it's okay, last minute briefing then I'll add those in. ugh. so un-pro man.
bah, i'm so pissed with myself.
post more in a few days, I think.
me..
Today, like every other day, I shall talk about... myself.
yes, i'm a narssisic girl, proud of it, loving it. I'm so it.
anyway, went to school for meeting..
I have so many shitty things to do. albert's sick, so i have to take over his position of runners and OGL's.. if he doesn't turn up on the actual days, i'll have to take charge. Being VP isn't that fun after all, but what the heck. =P
i'm getting 5 points for that. plus 3 points for being in the planning committee. plus the whole annual participation and all that, 2 more points. sweet.
Went meeting debra and rica after that.
we ate at billy bomber's. don't EVER try the potato salad. most grossest thing I've ever eaten.
eh.. we went ALL over orchard and bugis-seiyu just in search for THE jacket.
THE denim jacket.
mind you, I fussed about so much, debra started whinning about me.
*guilty grin*I can't remember what shops we went to and all that, I only remembered seeing racks of clothes... damn.
anyway, i'm like shagged.. so bloody tired from all that walking...
gonna hit the showers then off to sleep.
tmr still got meeting with those bloody anderson kiddos.
shiiiiiitterheads.
mah eyyyyyeeeeeeee....
the bag strap poked my eye.
i think that much is clear for all to read.
if you want the nose-y details:
the bag strap had little fibres in it, wrapped in this fishnet thingy, it GLANCED through the surface of my eye. while I think the cornea healed over night, my vision hasn't. Besides, it was a scratch.
what luck.
went to the doctor, he daren't give me anything for fear if there really is a scratch in the cornea, it might worsen my stupid condition. Maybe I shouldn't have sat there waiting for those two guys to 'smoke' their cigars...
I mean, what's up with guys and cigars? they act like they know how to smoke it... maybe they should go watch those ah long grand uncles of mine smoke... it's much more interesting. but, heh.. doc's orders, they have to stop.. if not.. they'll be in trouble with their own health issues. ;)
ahhhh.. okok...
i'll go be remorse about my stupid jabbed eye...
I watched NARUTO THE MOVIEEEEE!!!
sooooo nice!!
it's so touching.. gonna watch it a few more times.
ciaos peeps.
how come andre 3000 sound like outkast? =S
wha-at?
Today, I had the dreadful supplementary paper... it was... um.. well, I just did everything in a haze... hopefully I regurgitated the correct stuff..
anyway, i had meeting after the paper.
boring as it is, oh well... can't complain.
Went to meet the parents and the older brother... they brought me to AMK to have lunch, then we went home, and I went out 30 minutes later to meet debra.
well, today was a bloody bore, really.
We got Bertram to get his lazy butt out and he brought us to starbucks to let us watch him and his friend 'smoke' mini cigars... honestly, you have to bite on the cigar, chew on it and taste it's richness to KNOW the cigar. It's like drinking wine. you have to gargle, smell and spit it out and all that crap.
Anyway, my bag strap was being an ass today, it glanced through my eye and scratched just a wee little bit of my cornea.. now it's hurting, itching and it's blurring up my vision. I hate this.
I hope I don't wake up blind tomorrow.
I'm like so bloody bored...
going out to watch "Mr and Mrs Smith" and "Kingdom of Heaven" with debra, rica and bertram next week...
i hope it won't be so boring next week. hahahaha...
For the solace I seek,
I shall try again and again,
till I find it,
I shall never rest.
ugh, this blurred vision is really frustrating me. =(
awww.... just take a look at that!
see.. that's my picture! hahaha...
someone FINALLY did come and deface my picture hurh?
well, it's not very well done, the beard's abit shoddy, and the horns doesn't look THAT realistic, now does it? =D
arden, thanks so much hurh? we'll see what I can do to your picture then...
I've done marcus's one already.. i'll post it up soon, I suppose... ;)
hahaha...
this is fabulous.. let's see what else my classmates can do with my pictures...
and if that's really my true form, it's a tad bit... of a comic relief, ain't it?
*grin*hahaha.. the wonders my classmates do.... they're interesting people even though they hate my guts lots. i know i know ian. i shouldn't talk bad about them...
but really.. this really is interesting. i wonder how long more this little animosity will last.
interesting as it is, we'll see.. we'll see.. ;)
my moo-ing days...
surely, you'd have noticed that it's FINALLY raining. (thank goodness, I can feel storbid once more)
anyway, tomorrow is THE test.
*gulps*I'm feeling as nervous as how cold you get when you're up at Mt. Titlis... or Charmonix et mont blanc.....
it's crazy... =S
Hopefully everything albert's taught me will get to my head..hopefully man...
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein
So true.. i'm not sure whether the universe is infinite, but human stupidity surely is. I don't deny that I can be quite stupid sometimes, but hey, if it makes anyone else feel better, you tend to be more stupid than I am sometimes too. ;)
go figure.
stupid says as stupid does,
but doesn't really know what stupid is doing,
so there goes to show stupid is merely a figment of imagination.
that said and done,
see ya.
Gift of Life
okay, spit it out, how many of you have given the gift of life to someone else?
hmmm, well, alright, that speaks a thousand meanings actually. (well, not a thousand, just a figure of speech)
Anyway, how many of you have given out some blood for others to survive on?
I've given mine twice, to someone.. I dunno, prolly saved some guy from death, hopefully...
Mother's day is just tomorrow, yet I don't really know what to do for her. Make dinner? lunch? I dunno.. hmm...
that brings us back to the topic, mothers all give their gift of life to their children. And as their kids, we all ought to thank our moms not only for tomorrow, but everyday.
It's like valentine's day.. I mean, do you just put that extra effort in making your boyfriend/girlfriend happy just on that day? why can't you do it say.. on another day, when they're least expecting it? i'm sure they'll remember that unexpected day more than if you gave him/her a rose with a little piece of jewellery or a nice bottle of au de toilette on valentine's day, and wrap it up with a nice candle light dinner.
Do that any other day, right after they're done with a long day of work, i'm sure they'll appreciate that day a hell lot more. Trust me, they will! ;)
"A good friend is like a computer, you 'enter' my life, I 'save' you in my heart 'disk', you 'format' my problems and that's why I never 'delete' you from my 'memory'." - Charmaine Foo.
heh, didn't expect that coming now, did ya?
speaking of char, I'm being turned towards mich.. haha.. mich dear, sorry I haven't been chatting much with ya.. I will soon k? after monday.. you have to tell me what times are the best times to sms you and all that.. okay? then I'll work that into my schedule as well and we can chat like nobody's biz till my mom confiscates my phone coz i'm sms-ing too much sometimes.. ;)
I still luv ya lots, sis!! =D
Oh yeah, thanks to albert, now I understand the nitty gritty's of organic chemistry. Hopefully I'll be able to memorise those shitty little details he told me to, by sunday night too. which is tmr night.
albert is officially a spaz too.
that said, that done.
I'm off to get some sleep.
>__<
peace out, y'all behave now!
scribbling quick thoughts.
I can't wait.
Harry Potter is coming out yet again! =)
Seriously, I don't really give a damn if you're being sourgrapes about how tosh that book is. I have millions of supporters who will back me up saying that "The 'Harry Potter' series is the best novel series EVER known to anyone."
Come July 16th, here's THE book i've been looking forward to for MONTHS. =D
and one book bloody costs $40.60. shit you popular.
But then again, I'm all for it. Anything to get my hands on the latest book!
scribbling more thoughts;
"Compromise is no four-letter word! Go ahead and count. One, two, three --hey, it's got ten letters! So why do you treat compromise like there's something wrong with it?" - tomorrow's horoscope for Libra, courtesy from astrology.com
You know, I'm a big astrology freak. there we go! now we can add that little trivia to my list. soon, I'll come up with that 100 facts about Angeline Tan. And people WILL read it, when they do have the time. At least 20 facts they will read. lol
I must compromise, yea.. but we'll see...
I mustn't compromise while studying, see... that's what I'm doing right at this moment.
oh, there we go.. 'manda's feeling outta it at the mo.. haha.. cheer up lil' sis...
as dark as I can get and will get and already getting to be, cheer up...
ah well...
this little blog which I've etched lots of memories on. okay, so it's just the tip of the ice berg which I'd written down. seriously, too many things go by un-noticed, so many friends I try to be with, yet they slip away...
I know I'm not perfect....
I really wonder what others think of me? I know I shouldn't, but well... it's a question that eats into me day and night.
I'm sure you think about that too! =P
okok, i shan't skive.
I must not skive. I must not skive. I must not skive. I MUST NOT SKIVE!!!!!!
=S
*grimace*scribble in a few days time...
wish me good luck for my org chem paper on monday, everyone!
crazy sounds as crazy does,
you don't know you're crazy till you find someone crazier than you are.
I think I found that crazier someone: peisuan.
my overly enthusiastic friend... but we all love her lots for that.
remember to add more self-raising flour for the cookies..
It's just not enough, I know.
screwed up pretty much in cell tech.
I gotta sleep earlier next time.
study's coming up pretty okay. it's sorta screwed up, now that I sit back and take a good scrutinising at things...
Whatever I'd studied previously didn't exactly come out.
But rather, it'll be coming out now for the supplementary papers. Ironic as it is, that's the ruddy funny side to reality.
not much to blog, can't really think much.
meh, pictures? not many to give to you, it's pretty much classified matters for the ones i've been snapping away. (read: NE project) soooo yeah.
maybe I can show you how rica looks like with my shades on. haha..
takes a while getting used to it, but I''m playing along everything in school.
haha... it takes a while, but I just HAD to learn the hard way too, huh? friends in school? are superficial. most of them anyway. a few make good friends, but the rest...... i dunno...
they seem to think that everyone else are fakers too. So they don't talk, they do all sorts of things...
*shrugs* nevermind nevermind.
I'll still try to be everyone's friend. Keyword being 'try'.
meh... peisuan did cookies, she could've done better with a tad bit more self-raising flour. and less sugar. yep.
it felt more like biscotti's then cookies..
"It's a good life so why y'all trippin'? The good life’s slippin' away!!" - Jesse McCartney
read today's date!!!
5th May 2005, 05.05.05, 5/5/2005
sweet day ain't it?
next year, it'll be 6/6/6.
who wants to call saturn out? lol
the ruddy devil with his two horns sticking out of his head and his silly pitchfork.
he ought to look better soon. the horns and all? a lil' outdated and old i'd say.
So UN-cool.
he'd better look like brad pitt too. =P
anyway, nap time, then study!
byee!
sneaky sly twinkling in thy eyes...
albert agreed to teach me for my supp this coming saturday afternoon..
my place or his? i dunno.. we'll see..
gonna study real hard and maybe he can shoot me some stupid trivia on it.. although I hardly doubt that the supp will have trivia questions. hahah..
I like walking.
I could walk all day, and I won't feel a single bit tired.
I wish to walk all day, with my best friends walking along with me.
hmmm....
Okay, the results bloody came in at 3.13am....
I'm feeling giddy all over, due to the rush and excitement.
I didn't do too well again for this semester, but like I predicted, I'd flunk year 1...
anyway, one supplementary paper.
I should study it in conviction...
hopefully I can get something squeezed in.
I'm feeling rather apprehensive, and at this point in the morning too.
oh like, whatever.
she just totally spoils my mood sometimes.
jumpy and jumpy and jumpy some more...
Thanks to my many... er, friends. I'm constantly reminded that I'll be getting my academical results tomorrow.
I'm so screwed up anxious about it.
*paces about*say a lil' prayer for me, will you?
People these days are so superficial.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the thought of being indirectly insulted right smack in my face in front of 7 other people. (thank god only 7, not the whole theatre of people)
As hurtful as it is, I try my best to maintain my composure, just telling myself, maybe I'm just being oversensitive.
Perhaps so... yeah, maybe I was being oversensitive.
Then again, how more obvious can it get when someone goes "you're not supposed to be here, you know? I didn't even put your name on the list, so what are you doing here?"
How hurtful it is to be sitting just across my supposed 'best friend' and watch her scream over the phone about me being an extra. nice. real nice. what a comfort it is to know she thinks i'm 'extra'.
Thanks for making me 'extra'. labelling me 'extra'.
I might as well be hated for being 'extra' now, right? so much for trying to understand all the time, to be so bloody caring.
but it's okay, since you wanna be like that, I don't mind. I can just play along and act like everything's fine and dandy. Maybe you don't realise it, but you're just slicing little gashes at my emotions bit by bit everytime you say something. Every little unknown insult you throw at me, the gash gets bigger.
You may think it's funny, but I don't.
I don't find it amusing at any rate now.
Perhaps, a year ago, I might've found it extremely hilarious to be made fun of, of my bimbotic ways. Sometimes I can't help being such an air-head, or being so absent-minded, my mind strays in the middle of a topic and I space out.
I may look an idiot, I may sound like one at times too, but I'm still as human as any other human you may know too. I have feelings too. I'm not just a ragdoll you can just hurt and insult upon.
I may make this sound exaggerating, I'm sorry I'm blowing this out of proportion, I'm just tired. sick and tired of being in school. Having to drag myself up, to get everything done, I should put in more conviction, I know, and I'm trying.
But today's words; they hurt me alot.
I don't even know if you'll read this. But blasting me off with those "I didn't even put your name down and the class rep called you in?" really hurt me.
Am I that stupid in your eyes?
Do I look that dumb?
Am I really that slow and stupid?
Stupid enough to be labelled 'incompetent' to you?
it's hurtful and insulting.
maybe this is just part and parcel of growing up, taking critisism to another level. But by indirectly insulting me about my intelligence really hits it.
To think you acted as if nothing happened after that and treated me with another sort of characterism....
*sighs*whatever to you.
do what you want, behave how you will...
You'll still be my friend in the end, one who'll listen and say something useful to advice me..
Like I said, maybe I'm just being oversensitive.
I'm in no mood to blog, or talk.
"Maybe surrounded by a million people, I still feel all alone." That's how I feel in school, really.
Charmaine, I'm sorry I just didn't feel like talking to you (or anyone, for that matter) the whole of last night and today.. I'm just.. tired. Not stressed, just tired.
I'm trying, I really am.
Action before thoughts.
Is it good to act before you think?
or do you wish to think before you act?
I'd say, you only act before you think;
only when you've done the same thing over for the zillionth time.
And you think before you act;
only when whatever you're doing is gonna be a lifetime decision.
Being anyone isn't always as easy as many would think it to be..
they think it's easy being me.
maybe, if you had my mindset. I just think and act. you always act, then think. sometimes you think then act. sometimes you just act. you don't think. just don't.
I never said being you was easy. I'm not gonna say it's difficult.
coz sometimes you get pampered till i sometimes wish i could get rid of you.
sometimes, just sometimes.
yesterday was....
well, being with my two best friends cheered the day up a whole lot more.
but the day was as gloomy as the weather had been.
I'd made friends with the cute lil' japanese boy!!!
he is SOOOO cute! he's name is Ryuko. or riko. or well, you pronounce it as ree-ko.
if I can manage to get his picture online, I will post it up here.
dinner was junk food.
chocolates, some alcohol.. (okay, it was 6 bottles. i did 2.5) more chocs... cheezels, and fried carrot cake from kallang.
I'm bored.
"And when the world was through, then one by one the stars would all go out, then you and I would simply fly away." - Bread "If"
it'll all be alright, i hope.
if only...
after, before, no where in return
In within of after, beforewards,
and there's nowhere in return.
Which would you choose?
my words seem confusing,
but rarely by chance, it's not.
In within of after,
a choice many choose to go after.
they like beforwards,
where they get to reminisce and cry
and feel nostalgia.
I'm always going towards nowhere in return,
I don't have to anticipate,
I don't have to regurgitate.
I'm living in the moment,
where there's no returns.
As night passes by, I like looking out of my window nowanights (coz it's not day time, see). The little pieces of cottony clouds, they just sit perfectly in the dark sky.
I've always thought that the night was selfish. Not only is it so magnificant and intimidating due to its blackness, it supplies me with endless wonders, endless breath-taking moments. It's like some flirt, wowing me, but never really gonna be there.
See, I can only memorise, and keep that little fleeting moment in my memory, but I can't ever take a picture for it's too dark, and the flash won't ever work.
Maybe the shutter speed has to be slowed down.
"Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way you're actin' like you're somebody else gets me frustrated. Life's like this; you fall and you crawl and you break and you take what you get and you turn it into. Honestly and promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it." - Avril Lavinge "complicated"
Boredom says as boredom does;
but boredom doesn't know that it isn't that boring after all.
he doesn't know that at all.
Belive in me,
and you'll get all answers.
trust in me,
and you'll never lose your faith.
Live in my promise,
you'll never be happier.
sometimes, I can't carry those promises out well,
but I try to try my best.
that I promise.
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